I think if you were going to look at the notion of "men and women at war," you might go back to childhood notions of, "Boys against the girls." Phyllis Reynolds Naylor has a whole series of books on this theme.

It's not uncommon for kids to be put into teams of boys versus girls in things like tug of war or dodge ball.

The idea of a battle between the sexes is sold to kids pretty early on, I think.

This post could really be used to lead into anything at all about CSI and other crime shows.

"I remember really liking it and telling my Dad who, with his usual gentle wisdom, said something to the effect of “it’s never funny when two people who are supposed to love each other try to hurt each other.” I was chagrined."

Your Dad...? Is AWESOME.

Beyond the sexualized violence, this trailer was very, very awkward to watch with my parents.

the worst part is, that they will probably fall back in love because women like to be abused by jerks.

ha ha ha ha ha

oh wait. that's NOT funny.

I think it's HIGH-LARIOUS when someone kidnaps their ex and throws her IN A TRUNK. Also, steals all her money. It's so funny, in fact, that she's *bound* (pun intended) to fall back in love with him because he's just. so. charming.

Women love to be abused. Didn't you know?

Also, your dad rocks.

I had an arguement with my girlfriend a long time ago about whether there are any topics to serious to joke about. I didn't think so; whereas she said rape is never funny. We then went to see the Robin Hood movie starring Kevin Costner. Near the end of the movie, the Sheriff is trying to impregnate Maid Marion while all around him there are sword fights going on. The scene was played for laughs; and my girlfriend laughed along with everyone else. I leaned over to her and said, "You realize he's raping her, right?" She didn't talk to me for the rest of the night.

With respect to your father, I think the reason people do find humor in those types of movies is because they are capable of disassociating them from reality, and so can appreciate the humor without feeling uncomfortable because the violence isn't real. I don't see anything wrong with that.

The local news has been covering a story recently of a woman kidnapped by her ex-fiance -- she'd been taken across state lines and raped and beaten for days.

I mean... in the trunk???? Bounty hunters don't do that, AFAIK, because it's illegal and they have to treat the people they catch the same way cops do. I really want to believe that whoever made this movie was just oblivious to the implications/context of a man tossing a woman in the trunk of a car, even (or especially, statistically speaking) if there's a previous relationship there, but I doubt it considering all the other little "funny" details in this trailer.

If you watch the trailer with the sound off, it could easily be for a stalker horror film.

@grizzly just because we have been socialized to laugh at things doesn't mean it doesn't affect us, and that it is NOT harmful.

personally that scene makes me feel ill, and then when the sheriff is taken away to be raped by the witch. that is awful too. it starts when you are young. its part of every romance. and even romance novels often start with the young unwilling lady falling in love with her rapist.

ALL THE TIME.

just because women read them and think its romantic doesn't make it ok. it is just evidence of how fucked up society is.

I don't really like the look of this film at all. Minor fighting between couples - verbal sparring and the like, turning to love can be funny, many films have this type of thing in them. But this is downright creepy, particularly the locked in the trunk scene I think. I agree if you changed the sound track it could be a completely different movie.

Some kidnap movies can be funny - I kind of liked Bandits but it's clear early on that there is no physical threat to her and that she is bored and wants to escape.

Sorry if this is besides the argument and therefore being a spoiler - but why is the topic here the sex-relationship; what caught me - may be because of not really being able to see the trailer cause the slowness of my internet - are the weapons you see all around. Talking about violent relationships "divorcing" here the perception from the most actual status-symbol of violence in the first place to forms may be developed out of this situation of spread "violence desease"? But I think I understand the argument.

I remember really liking it and telling my Dad who, with his usual gentle wisdom, said something to the effect of “it’s never funny when two people who are supposed to love each other try to hurt each other.” I was chagrined.

First, your dad is brilliant and put into words exactly what bothers me about a lot of "romantic comedies".

I just saw the trailer for this movie today at the theater, and once I got over the initial "Yay, Gerard Butler, boo, Jennifer Aniston" feelings, I felt uncomfortable knowing that, thanks to the Rules of Romantic Comedy, the characters were destined to re-discover their romance and fall in love at the end. And anyone who falls back in love with a guy who throws her into his trunk, cuffs her to a bed and commits credit card fraud isn't someone I'm interested in watching.

Anyone else notice how many times they say the guy's name in this trailor? "Milo" is said incessantly, and yet I have no idea what the girl's name is.

Yay.

Yikes. For a "lighthearted rom-com," that trailer is so chockablock with disturbing implications, I could barely focus on the topic of the post (the violent rom-com genre, male/female relations, movie tropes, etc.). I'll pick a couple things, one from the beginning, one from the end.

First, I gotta tell ya: call me oversensitive (I'm sure somebody will), but her peevish-yet-not-very-urgent "It's ridiculous that I was even arrested in the first place" immediately put me in a dead-serious frame of mind. To be blunt, I am a black. And a woman. In the US. Therefore, I am oversensitive!!! terrified of the criminal justice system. If I found out there was a warrant out for my arrest, I'd be nauseated with fear. Jail would ruin my life. Not to even think of the physical danger at practically every stage of the process. *thinks of it; feels momentarily ill* ... But she sounds so "whatever," it's like she's barely concerned enough to even properly convey her annoyance. And throughout, it looks like a big part of the joke is how cRaZy it is that this! woman! would be a wanted fugitive. How absurd! When you're young, white (and don't forget pretty!), it's "ridiculous" that you should not also be free. No wonder it pains him so to take her to jail. Whatever the alleged crime was.*

Second, did she really need to taze him in the neck?? That cannot be a good idea. Jeez. He was essentially naked; she could have tazed him anywhere. (I know: but it's funnier that way!! Yes, I am a killjoy.)

_____
*A quick Google reveals nothing. I'm gonna guess it's... either traffic-related, or something procedural like refusing to testify, or maybe something divorce-related. Y'know, not a real crime. (And I'll go out on a limb here and guess she's not guilty anyway.) Nothing like shoplifting or fraud. And I will drop STONE DEAD of shock if it's even vaguely drug-related. Cuz people who look like Jennifer Aniston DO NOT COMMIT FELONIES.

I think we would be remiss to not mention Mr. and Mrs. Smith in this post. I remember watching that one and being extremely disturbed by the sexualized violence in that movie, and yet on the verge of buying into it. It was very strange and it's an example of how we can get into the premise of a movie and start to rationalize what we see on the screen. How much different is that when we rationalize abusive actions for other reasons? Or when victims of abuse rationalize what is happening to them?

I don't remember it in detail, but I recall thinking "The War of the Roses" was pretty funny and I never thought Hollywood would let the two principals kill each other.

It was a satire. Like the movie that also featured Danny Devito in which two people kidnap his wife, played by Bette Midler, and she learns to her dismay that he won't pay the ransom. She joins forces with the kidnappers, who are basically a sweet couple.

Intimate relationships can bring out the worst people. Is that news?

The point of "The War of the Roses" is they kill each other. They're vile people and they deserve each other.

I like this blog, but I think that failing to see satire in "TWotR" is a mistake.

Needless to say, no film noir would pass this test because by the film's end the love between the man and woman has almost invariably soured and they're trying to kill each other. The mutual murderous rage is actually positive because the woman is being treated as equal even though she's usually portrayed as some kind of lying, double-crossing moll. At least she's powerful.

There's a scene in "The Quiet Man" in which John Wayne drags Maureen O'Hara. Many people find it funny, I don't.

I haven't clicked on the Aniston movie trailer. I'm not that interested and I think this was the movie that prompted endless posts last year about whether you could see her ladyparts in a still photo of the trunk scene.

I'm sure it was a hoax, but it was such a waste of time that I refuse to spend any more time on this movie.

I understand your point completely, but I still love The War of the Roses because it's hilarious. It's too bad about the way it ended but it's still one of my favorite movies.

Um, I'm wondering what the War of the Roses satirised?

I thought it was a vile movie, personally, trying to make the topic of a fucked-up couple trying to kill each other rather than get a sane divorce humorous. Perhaps due to the fact that my parents had an abusive relationship, the "humour" rather escaped me.

(And, actually, I don't mind slapstick humour and cartoonish violence - Serial Mom, anyone? - but that movie was only slightly more broadly drawn than some real abusive situations)

I've finally watched the clip. It's not a movie I'd rush to see, but I frankly don't see this as a latent attempt at legitimizing the brutalization of women.

I know many will disagree, but I think I'm sensitive about these issues. For example, over the weekend, I saw the well-reviewed "Taken" with Liam Neeson, about a former spy who saves his formerly estranged teenaged daughter from a prostitution ring and I found aspects of it very manipulative and exploitive: Macho Daddy rushes to spare his virgin daughter from a fate-worse-than-death.

The only thing that made it watchable was Neeson.

Now if a man bounty hunter was chasing another man, the mild violence would be appropriate for the comedy purposes. And yet the "equal rights defendants" would not allow the same attitude towards women? How that's right?

Mikhail, if it was a gay romantic comedy I'm sure most people complaining about the violence would still be complaining about the violence. Because mixing violence and romance is disturbing.

I've been in a odd position here. Nine times out of 10, *I'M* the one who's being told that I'm being hypersensitive and should lighten up. Normally, the person giving me the "advice" is some troll who couldn't give a damn about the issues.

But in this case, I really don't agree. I've persisted because (in addition to the great procrastination potential), I think it's important to try to hear reasonable people (I will flatter myself that I am being reasonable and fairly nuanced in my discussion) who don't agree with you.

I laughed out loud at this trailer.

For me, it tripped my unreality/this-is-humor sensor. I'm one of those people who is intensely responsive to scenes in film--I laugh on cue, cry on cue, rage on cue, etc, etc. It isn't until after a movie, or the second watch-through, that things strike me as upsetting or odd.

This trailer showed an equal relationship of violence and counterviolence (in my mind) and no one appeared to be genuinely afraid or seriously hurt. I will probably avoid watching the movie, however, because eventually it will show real violence, someone being really afraid or hurt, and I will find that deeply upsetting. "It's funny until someone gets hurt," is a trope I often live up to in movies. Well, gets hurt or is extremely socially awkward/humiliating.

One of the most upsetting movies I ever watched was 27 Dresses, when he stole her appointment book, wrote shit in it, stalked her, lied to her, humiliated her in public... brrr, I was creeped out the whole movie.

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If you ever want to watch some wonderful romantic comedies, take a look at:

"The Shop Around the Corner" and "I Know Where I'm Going."

Oldies but greaties.

I also have a soft spot for "Crossing Delancey," even though it's sort of unbelievable that the man and woman characters would stay together and there are two scenes in which minority people are used like props.

Well, they're not in a relationship. They are exes, so I'm assuming the movie took advantage of that and used it to portray them hurting each other.

I think we can see a positive thing in this movie and see that the female is hurting the male back, which usually isn't the case.