Click here to watch a 1 1/2 minute segment about Dr. Matlock and vaginoplasty.  It’s TOTALLY SURREAL.  (And not safe for work.)

Also, and this drives me crazy, the proper term is “vulva,” not “vagina.”  To call the whole thing a vagina reduces women’s genitals to where the penis goes in/baby comes out.  There is a lot more going on down there! 

I blame you, Vagina Monologues.

In her famous video, Killing Us Softly, Jean Kilbourne mentions that women are often told to let their appearance “do the talking.”  And, in another post, we’ve talked about how women are encouraged to do anything, as long as they look good doing it.  Which brings me to this page from this month’s Seventeen:

Text:

Make a big impression!  On the first day of school, tell everyone about yourself without saying a word: Just pick the look that makes the right statement for you!

And:

17 Tip: To make your eyes look really open and awake [I guess ’cause class is boring and you were out late partying last night?], line both your top and bottom lash lines with gold shadow.

And:

Focused!  Subtle shadow lets people know you’re serious about school.

Jezebel reviews this month’s Seventeen magazine, chock full of anxiety-inspiring questions that all essentially translate into: “Are you sure you’re good enough?” 

Joyous A. sent us a link to these Cosmo beauty tips, illustrated by this picture:

Jeff G. let us know about one of Troyt Coburn’s ads for Lee:

Glenn R. sent us a link to this Caramba Tequila ad (via):

And Jay L. pointed out this Swiss commercial for Creme d’Or ice cream, in which a woman appears to give a statue oral sex:

The commercial was entered in the Cannes Lions Advertising Festival.

This ad 1976 ad for Perrier may seem boring for the first 15 seconds or so, but it’s worth the wait:

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRIRACUmTPE[/youtube]

This is an ad for a water gun called The Oozinator:

The images below are on The Ice Creamists website:

NEW (Jan ’10)! Helene V. sent in these two Danish ads for Cult.  In addition to potentially encouraging you to use alcohol to get sex, do you see the splooge halo around the bottles?

NEW (Mar. ’10)! Dmitriy T.M. sent in this flyer advertising a techno party:

ALSO NEW! (Mar. ’10): Kristyn G. sent us this commercial for an Australian internet company, which was pulled from the air after compaints (found at the Daily Telegraph):

See also Gwen Stefani, this Tudors ad, this creamer ad, and the Slates, Caesar’s Palace, and Campari ads from this post.

Images from Jezebel, Copyranter (here and here), Adfreak, and The F Word.

This Korean ad for a newspaper nicely illustrates the social constructedness of “breakfast” food. That is, that there is nothing inherently a.m. about eggs, bacon, or toast. But coffee, well that’s another story.

Text:

The smell of coffee? The taste of your favorite breakfast? Whatever wakes you up… have it with The Korea Times!

Found at MultiCultClassics.

Like many ads on this blog, this Australian commercial threatens men with a loss of masculinity if they don’t obey the rules. But this time, instead of punishing men if they are not stereotypically masculine (i.e, men should not know about ballet, hug or sit improperly, drink the wrong drink, go to the bathroom together, smell like flowers, or eat tofu), this ad punishes men when they are stereotypically masculine.  But, at the same time that the ad attempts to redefine masculinity, it maintains the stringency of the rules and the consequences of breaking them.  (Also see here for a postsecret about the pressures of following masculinity rules.)

Thanks to Alicia T. for the submission!

Remember when FOX News first got all entertain-y and we were all horrified by how unprofessional it was and then, next thing we knew, even CNN was all entertain-y and it was the beginning of the end?

Well, apparently, like all news went the way of FOX, all men’s hygiene product companies are going the way of Axe. Consider this Edge commercial (and compare it to the first Axe commercial in this post):

Also, those cans are mighty phallic.

Found at Vintage Ads (date not specified).

We’ve been so busy with PETA, we’ve forgotten about American Apparel.  What does one have to do with the other?  They both sacrifice one social justice issue in pursuit of another.  I find this leftist balkanization–where lefty groups choose one and only one social justice issue and ignore the rest, or even exacerbate them–fascinating.  It leads to, if you will allow me to mix metaphors, a leftist cannibalization.  We are eating ourselves. 

So anyway, American Apparel is American Apparel because they are supposed to care about fair wages.  You know, made in America according to fair labor laws.  Anti-sweatship and all that good stuff.  What a lovely thing.  Except… their ads (stolen from Copyranter).  They make me want to wash my eyes out with soap. 

Um… not safe for work.

Congratulations Japan!

See also our post on the striking resemblance between their commercials and those old banned child-porn-esque Calvin Klein commercials.