Jillian Y. sent a really interesting example of the gendering of housework. The example comes from a non-profit organization, Cleaning for a Reason, that assists cancer patients with house cleaning.
The organization is for people struggling with any type of cancer (not just breast cancer, as the pink ribbon suggests), but it still only assists female patients.
Jillian didn’t want to trivialize how useful and important such a service is, and I don’t want to either. There are reasons why women may need this service more frequently than men. The first reason is, of course, that women do the majority of housework in the U.S. and most Western countries (see also the links below). So when a woman gets sick and she can’t do her job anymore, this organization steps in and helps. When a man gets sick, the housework (apparently) keeps getting done with no problem because it wasn’t his job in the first place.
This, of course, assumes that everyone who gets sick is (heterosexual and) married (and able-bodied to begin with). What about single people? Who does their housework? Much of the time their female relatives do some of it… but let’s assume that single people are especially vulnerable because they have no one to help them do the daily upkeep of the house.
I recently saw a study that stunned me. It looked at the frequency with which married couples separated or divorced after a cancer diagnosis. Get this: If you are a man, the chance that your relationship will break up after diagnosis was three percent. Three. If you are a woman, the chance is 21. Twenty-one. One out of five women diagnosed with cancer (compared to one out of every thirty men) finds herself single.
So, yeah, maybe it makes sense to be especially aware that female cancer patients have a burden that many male cancer patients do not (whether by virtue of the fact that housework is gendered or the fact that female cancer patients are more likely to end up single).
That said, I don’t appreciate that the organization reinforces the idea that housework is women’s work; nor do I like that it excludes men who need help (largely by making single men or men with partners who cannot do housework invisible).
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See also our post on how health-related activism is sometimes for women only.
For examples of how women are responsible for the home, see this KFC advertisement offering moms a night off, this a commercial montage, Italian dye ad with a twist, women love to clean, homes of the future, what’s for dinner, honey?, who buys for the family, liberation through quick meals, “give it to your wife,” so easy a mom can do it, men are useless, and my husband’s an ass.
Historical examples of the social construction of housework: husbands “help” wives by buying machines, gadgets replace slaves, feminism by whirlpool.
And, of course, it’s hilariously funny to think that men would actually do housework: see our posts on “porn” for new moms (also here), the househusbands of Hollywood, and calendar with images of sexy men doing housework.
Lisa Wade, PhD is an Associate Professor at Tulane University. She is the author of American Hookup, a book about college sexual culture; a textbook about gender; and a forthcoming introductory text: Terrible Magnificent Sociology. You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram.
Comments 21
Fangirl — January 8, 2010
This is interesting to me. My dad had cancer, among other things, and my mother was his caretaker. So, while she was technically well enough to be doing housework, it wasn't exactly at the top of her priorities, between, oh, a full-time job, getting my father to his appointments (many of which were a four hour drive away), making sure my sister and I ate and got to school (something my father had previously taken care of, but he could no longer cook or drive). She probably would've appreciated professional housecleaning or a maid service.
I think this idea is a fabulous one, I just think expanding their services wouldn't hurt. Having a family member with cancer is hard, and things like cleaning - which make being at home more pleasant and less stressful - tend to fall to the bottom of the priority list even if you're not the one who's sick.
tl;dr » cancer doesn't affect just the patient.
SJL — January 8, 2010
the rate of divorce speaks to something I see alot in culture. Men partner with women at least partly so that those women can fulfill a functional role in their lives, whether it be sexual, domestic, reproductive, etc, with the implication that when the woman can no longer fulfill that role, she is up for replacement.
Women are fed this concept to a lesser extent (usually with respect to a man as a bread winner).
Mark — January 8, 2010
I don't see anything wrong with a charity picking a restricted target. Maybe the financial contributors don't like men and don't want to help. Why should they help men if they is not what they want to do?
CJ — January 8, 2010
Wow - they are located right down the street from my house. I should saunter down there and ask them why they don't help men - after I do the dishes, mop the kitchen floor and feed the dogs (during my lunch break).
Cyn — January 8, 2010
I was married once, and my husband made a token effort to help with the housework; but when I broke my leg, it was absolutely unbelievable how little "help" his token effort actually constituted.
I am SO GLAD to be single now. One of the big ways people try to get you to buy into the idea of marriage is "What if something happens and you become sick or disabled?!" Well, apparently, chances are your husband will just leave you anyway. Suck it, marriage!!!
Carolyn — January 8, 2010
Oh, it gets better! While we may object to an 'organization that reinforces the idea that housework is women's work', it is merely reflecting reality - stereotypical or not. If my home looks like a pigsty, nobody walks in and thinks: "Boy, is HE a messy housekeeper!"
Here's another telling example: a University of Iowa study last year followed married men and married women who had each survived a first heart attack, over a six-month period after discharge from hospital. For women, the daily grind of cooking, cleaning and other household chores barely skips a beat.
In the first month after a woman’s heart attack, her household activity declines somewhat below her normal level and her hubby picks up the slack, yielding “equal workloads for both spouses” according to lead author Dr. Jerry Suls. “But within a few more weeks, the domestic status quo returns, with women reclaiming a virtual monopoly on household duties.”
Male survivors rested at home during the six month follow-up, Dr. Suls added, with their wives handling most household tasks in their usual fashion. “Husbands of female heart attack survivors often exhibit a staunch unwillingness to assume domestic duties” says Dr. James Coyne, who studies survivors of heart disease at the University of Michigan.
So much for marriage being some kind of insurance that women will be taken care of if you're sick or disabled!
More at: "Women Heart Attack Survivors Know Their Place" at
http://myheartsisters.org/2009/09/13/women-heart-attack-survivors-know-their-place/
Amy — January 8, 2010
If you want this charity to be able to expand their target demographic, you might consider donating to them. They seem to be completely maxed out already serving only women.
karinova — January 9, 2010
That link to the divorce study is beyond depressing. (Note, the study also included some MS patients.) It strongly implies that the breakups are related to... wait for it... wait for it... housework. When wives get sick, husbands can't handle caregiving or "the burdens of maintaining a home and family" as well as wives can.
I really want to believe that the emotional stresses of a potentially fatal diagnosis— ah, who am I kidding? It's kind of hard not to conclude that housework was the primary reason these men were staying with the women at all. When the choice was doing the work or leaving, they left. "Not able to clean my house and take care of me? See ya. Send me a postcard if you live." What, are they off to find a new maid to marry?
And we're the "weaker sex."
Mrs. — January 9, 2010
karinova, I thought it was probably meaningful that that study looked at people with brain cancer and MS - both neurological problems that can mess with your personality. There's kind of a one-two (three?) punch thing with the conditions - you're not as able to participate in keeping house physically, and you're probably not going to be able to remind him to do that thing he always forgets, plus you may not seem completely like yourself anymore. It's a lot to go up against, plus the whole sickness and death thing. I can't speak so much for the MS experience, since that's not really me, but it's awfully close for comfort.
Unfortunately, I (a married woman) have absurdly relevant experience, having been misdiagnosed with a brain tumor only to find it was a rare form of MS, within the past couple of years. I'd like to really get into detail about how I feel about the study's findings, but it's awfully personal, and it's not just my story.
For the record, though, I think it's more complicated than housework. Add it all together and you get major vertigo when you think about the future.
Guy — January 18, 2010
After looking around the site, and reading what the charity says about itself, I find the logic of your original argument a bit puzzling.
The services of Cleaning for a Reason are in high demand. Don't you think that one reason for this could be that they ONLY clean for women? i.e., whether through word of mouth or the power of their brand, they have built up trust that their services are appropriate for (1) women (2) who are pretty ill and (3) live alone.
I'd imagine (and I can only imagine - I don't live alone and I don't have cancer) that the prospect of people you don't know coming into your home while you're alone and pretty ill could be quite scary. I'd imagine (perhaps I'm guilty of weaker-sex-stereotyping here and, again, I can only imagine) that it might be a bit scarier if you're a woman who lives alone.
It seems that this charity is all about eliminating fears over 'who-might-be-coming-into-my-house' rather than asserting that housework is women's work.
For one thing, you'll notice that under the headline 'Are you a Maid Service' on the homepage of http://www.cleaningforareason.org/ is an image of three 'maids' - two male and one female.
And then there's the board of directors - 11 directors, 8 female, 3 male.
Am I missing something? Does this charity also clean for women who live with partners who are too lazy to clean for them?
“Clean Like a Man” » Sociological Images — May 24, 2010
[...] examples of how women are responsible for the home, see help cleaning, Olympic laundry, this KFC advertisement offering moms a night off, this a commercial montage, [...]