book reviews

If this isn’t the coolest sounding conference: “Fear of Flying: Can a Feminist Classic Be a Classic?” On March 28, Columbia University will host a half-day conference at which speakers will revisit Erica Jong’s novel, assess the status of women’s writing and feminism in today’s literary scene, and suss out the possibilities of subversion open to contemporary young women writers. I’ll be at WAM!, or else I’d be here.

For those in need of a refresher, 35 years ago Erica Jong’s first novel, Fear of Flying, broke from conventional expectations and freed other women writers to write intelligently and openly about sex. It became an international bestseller. (“Zipless fuck” anyone?)

So Columbia University’s Rare Book & Manuscript Library acquired a large collection of Erica Jong’s archival material in 2007. And so the Rare Book & Manuscript Library will join the Columbia University Institute for Research on Women and Gender and the Center for Research on Women at Barnard College as sponsors. I love it.

Speakers include novelists Min Jin Lee, author of the national bestseller Free Food for Millionaires; Aoibheann Sweeney, author of Among Other Things I’ve Taken Up Smoking; literary and cultural critics Nancy K. Miller, Distinguished Professor, Comparative Literature and English, at the Graduate Center, City University of New York, and author of But Enough About Me: Let Me Tell You About My Memoir; Susan Rubin Suleiman, C. Douglas Dillon Professor of the Civilization of France and a professor of comparative literature at Harvard, and author of Subversive Intent: Gender, Politics and the Avant-Garde; Shelley Fisher Fishkin, Director of American Studies, Stanford University, and author of From Fact to Fiction: Journalism and Imaginative Writing in America; and journalist Rebecca Traister, staff writer for Salon.com and a founding contributor to Broadsheet. The afternoon will culminate in a conversation between Erica Jong and Columbia professor and novelist Jenny Davidson, author of Breeding. “Fear of Flying: Can a Feminist Classic be a Classic?” is open to the public and will be held at the Social Hall, Columbia University Union Theological Seminary, 3041 Broadway at 121st Street, in New York City, from 2:00 to 7:00 p.m. A reception will follow.

When I came home from Michigan this week, a beautiful book–a gift from a publisher in hope of a review–awaited me, to my surprise. It’s called HER STORY: A Timeline of the Women Who Changed America, by Charlotte S. Waisman and Jill S. Tietjen, and it’s coming out in April. A rockin Mother’s Day gift for sure.

An illustrated timeline featuring the lives of almost 900 women, with color photos and brief summaries highlighting their achievements, the book highlights women you expect and women you don’t. “Sometimes we chose a woman because her influence and values touched a great number of people; sometimes we picked her because of the reverberations of her accomplishment.” Madeleine Albright wrote the foreword. Thank you, HarperCollins, for sending. I covet this book. I tell you, blogging has its perks.

In case you missed it, Emily Bazelton offers a reality check in “Hormones, Genes and the Corner Office,” her NYTimes review of Susan Pinker’s new book, The Sexual Paradox: Men, Women, and the Real Gender Gap. Bazelton begins with the question: “Why do girls on average lead boys for all their years in the classroom, only to fall behind in the workplace? Do girls grow up and lose their edge, while boys mature and gain theirs?” She goes on to critique Pinker’s answer–which, basically, sounds like a version of biological difference feminism. Some snippets from Bazelton’s review:

Because of their biological makeup, [Pinker] argues, most women want to limit the amount of time they spend at work and to find “inherent meaning” there, as opposed to domination. “Both conflict with making lots of money and rising through the ranks,” she points out. Pinker is surely right to contest what she calls the “vanilla male model” of success — “that women should want what men want and be heartily encouraged to choose it 50 percent of the time.” Or that when employers say jump, employees should always say how high. Even as they work fewer hours for less status and less money, on average, more women report that they are satisfied with their careers. Maybe men might well think the same if more of them felt they could cut back. But Pinker’s difference feminism doesn’t really allow for that possibility. She is a believer: “The puzzle is why the idea of sex differences continues to be so controversial,” she writes.

Bazelton concludes that “In her zeal, Pinker veers to the onesided.” To wit:

She doesn’t acknowledge that some of the research cited in her footnotes is either highly questionable as social science (Louise Story’s 2005 article in The New York Times, for instance, about her survey of Ivy League women’s aspirations)….Pinker omits the work of scientists who have shown that sex-based brain differences pale in comparison to similarities. We shouldn’t wish the role of sex differences away because they’re at odds with feminist dogma. But that doesn’t mean we should settle for the reductionist version of the relevant science, even if the complexity doesn’t make for as neat a package between hard covers.

Ah yes, that old bugaboo called EVIDENCE. Of course, since I’m a junkie for pop writing on sex and feminism, and since Pinker uses the word “Extreme Men” and I’m dying to know what she means by the term, I’ll find my way to this book and will let you know if I agree with Bazelton’s take, or if there’s more there of interest from which we can learn. But on many levels, it sounds like one those looking for fact-based analysis might veer elsewhere.

An endorsement from Christina Hoff Sommers kind of confirms it for me. Sommers lauds the book thusly:

“Susan Pinker’s The Sexual Paradox is meticulously researched, brilliantly argued and thoroughly persuasive. It moves the debate over sex differences to a new level of sophistication.” — Christina Hoff Sommers, author of Who Stole Feminism? and The War Against Boys

Oh boy.

GUEST BLOGGER: Jacqueline Hudak, M.Ed., Ph.D. is a feminist family therapist who has been working with individuals, couples and families for over twenty years. On a more personal note, Jacqueline is the mother of Lauren, 16, and Vincent, 12 and together with her partner Sarah, they live in Atlantic Highlands NJ. When not thinking about relationships, Jacqueline is a devoted student of yoga, which, as she has said, teaches her to go forward with an open heart, and see the world in different ways. She’s a popular teacher, speaker, and family therapy supervisor, and has lectured widely on a variety of topics that impact family life. Jacqueline is an Adjunct Faculty at Drexel University’s Programs in Couple and Family Therapy and is currently at work on two books: a memoir, and a compilation of stories from her years in practice. She is also a “graduate” of my Making It Pop: Translating Your Ideas for Trade seminar, and I’m SO EXCITED to read her books, and to share this guest post from her here! Here’s Jacqueline. -GWP

Intimate Justice at Bluestockings NYC!

Intimate justice – doesn’t the sound of it just make you want some?

It was a beautiful scene on the evening of February 13th: a venerable old feminist bookstore, chock full of folks to celebrate the publication of Making Love Playing Power: Men, Women and the Rewards of Intimate Justice by my pal, Ken Dolan-DelVecchio. What an amazing book!

I was admittedly thrilled, but nervous, when upon our arrival at Bluestockings Ken asked me to introduce him. Given my heartfelt respect for this man and the work that we share, I of course, said ‘yes.’ I knew I could find the words, because in my mind, well, perhaps mostly in my heart, I knew how ready we are for a book like this, and how urgently it is needed.

This is because those of us who transgress the lines between doing ‘therapy’ and social justice work try to open our clients and families to new ways of seeing their lives. In my clinical work, I pursue the questions that might help someone see possibility where previously there was none. In this book, Ken provides a clear map of how gender, race, class and sexual orientation influence power in a relationship – and how the imbalance of power is at the root of most conflict. This dynamic is generally not talked about – even by supposed ‘experts’. Ken helps focus our understandings of how we are taught to be male or female, and what cost that exacts from relationships with those we love. This book enacts the revolutionary ideas that men are fully capable of deep intimacy and connection, and women, of empowerment and self-love.

With so many self help books on the market, it is so refreshing to find one that has a chapter entitled “What Patriarchy Teaches Men.” AND it is written by a man. I can only begin to imagine the ways in which sharing this book will enhance my clinical work with couples and families. The dominant psychology of our culture teaches us to look inside the person or relationship for “the problem.” Yet “the problem” is so often outside of the relationship – and the tricky thing is, we don’t talk about it. As a culture, we don’t acknowledge the ways in which the presence or absence of racism, poverty, gender privilege, or heterosexism (to name a few) shape and give meaning to our lives. Instead, we couch the struggles in pseudo-diagnostic terms: “communication problems”, “anger management,” “codependency.” We thus never get to talk about or take action against the structures that support these hierarchies of privilege and oppression within which all families live.

As the mother of an almost teenage boy, I am also deeply concerned about the ways in which he is taught by our culture to be a man. Can he stay the big-hearted, emotional and tender person I have known for 12 years? Must he become indoctrinated into the traditional world of masculinity? I know all of the rhetoric about how men have changed, but has the culture of masculinity? (that’s a whole other blog!) I see the extreme self reliance, the inability to ask for help or be viewed as dependent, in many “younger” men in my practice. I know Ken shares that concern for his son and share that in his dedication: “For your generation, may you know love more than domination and truth more than fear.”

Making Love Playing Power: Men, Women and the Rewards of Intimate Justice is the relationship guide we have been waiting for. Thank you, Ken, for opening so many possibilities to couples and families. Your clarity, dedication and tenderness shine through!

You can reach Jacqueline at jack4fta@comcast.net.

Coming in May 2008 from Seal Press: The Maternal Is Political: Women Writers at the Intersection of Motherhood and Social Change. Edited by Shari MacDonald Strong, and with a foreword by Kristin Rowe-Finkbeiner, the book includes thirty powerful, hard-hitting literary essays by women who are striving to make the world a better place for children and families—both their own and other women’s—in this country and globally.

From the book’s description:

Each contributor tackles complex issues facing mothers and society today. Whether it’s a mother teaching her children to live ecologically responsible lives, a mother struggling to get out of poverty while raising her kids, a mother’s response to her child being sent to Iraq, or a mother voting for the first time, each writer forges the link, the crucial relationship, between the personal (life with family) and the political (life in the world) to give voice to, and thus empower, other women to realize and seize their collective political clout as mothers. Written by and for mothers, The Maternal Is Political is crafted to help motivate us to discover, appreciate, and use with greater effectiveness our tremendously powerful (and too often underutilized) political votes and voices to create positive social change.

(Thanks to Helaine Olen , who has an essay in it that I can’t wait to read, for the heads up.)

GUEST POST: Elizabeth Curtis recently graduated with an M.A. in women’s studies from George Washington University, where her M.A. thesis focused on blogging and the creation of feminist networks online. (The full text of her thesis is available at
here.) Currently, Elizabeth continues blogging and serves as Program Coordinator at the Woodhull Institute for Ethical Leadership. Elizabeth has been one of my bloggy mentors, and for that, I’m forever grateful. Here’s Elizabeth!

My V-day

To celebrate V-day this year, I read the latest collected “writings to stop violence against women” – A Memory, a Monologue, a Rant, and a Prayer edited by Eve Ensler and Mollie Doyle. Written in a style reminiscent of the monologues featured in the Vagina Monologues, this anthology is filled with short pieces from a wide range of accomplished authors, poets, playwrights, and reporters.

I read this collection in two sittings – which is not something I would necessarily recommend. Although the writing is easy to read given the diversity of provocative styles, the content of many of the essays is heavy. For those who have experienced physical violence or sexual assualt, some of the narratives could be triggering. The call to action that these pieces create, however, is powerful. The message of
the V-day movement is clear in this collection – until the violence stops. Until, because there are so many activists working towards making a world without violence against women a reality. Until, because there still is a long way to go (as the FAQ in the appendix makes clear with useful statistical references).

The piece that most resonated with me was Ensler’s “Fur is Back.” This essay humorously illustrates what it’s like to be that girl at the party who is seen as such a “Debbie Downer” because she just can’t see the humor in sexist-racist-homophobic-classist-jokes or shut up about the current crises facing the world. As someone who has frequently been accussed of being a mood killer because of my insistence on not taking off my feminist hat (which means I can’t laugh at anything! because feminists have nooooo sense of – patriarchal – humor), I appreciated Ensler’s meditation on this topic. For me, “Fur is Back” was also good food for thought about how it is important to consider the best way to connect with different individuals based on their standpoint – humor sometimes trumps straight talk, questions sometimes trump answers, dialogue sometimes trumps lectures, etc.

A Memory, a Monologue, a Rant, and a Prayer was definitely the best V-day gift that I’ve ever received. When you are looking for something for that someone special next year in mid-February, consider getting this text gift-wrapped!

Cross posted on A Blog Without a Bicycle

In a new book, Send Yourself Roses: Thoughts on My Life, Love, and Leading Roles,, by Kathleen Turner and Gloria Feldt, Kathleen says:

“Before an opening performance, when I am feeling like I really need an affirmation, I’ll send myself a big bouquet of roses. Why not? Why should I wait around and hope that someone else will send me roses? If someone does, that’s delightful and I will receive them with pleasure. But if no one does, I won’t have to be blue.”

Love the attitude. Love the two women behind this book. And on that note, do check out Gloria’s beautiful new website which features the Send Yourself Roses blog, where Gloria asks us to share what we have done lately to “send yourself roses”, without waiting for someone else to tend to our needs. These two leading ladies will be in conversation tonight at The 92nd street Y in NYC, 8:15 pm, and at Barnes & Noble near Lincoln square on February 18 at 7:00 PM.

The book makes an excellent Valentine’s Day gift for the single and coupled alike. And hey, if you’re romancing an only, what better gift for your one and only than a book called, um, Only Child?! It’s a stretch, I know, but really just wanted to let folks know that on Sunday, Feb. 24 at 9pm on WKCR (89.9 FM in NYC), there will be an hour-long program (“Studio A”) airing featuring only child-ness. Everything you ever wanted to know — from a literary perspective, that is. Our host for this one, MFA student Michelle Legro, asked Daph and me some of the most thoughtful questions ever about being writers and onlies. Some fresh new writing about onlyness will be read on the show, too.

(The program will eventually available as a download, so Mom, in case you miss it….)

Betty Friedan’s classic started with a survey of her college classmates some years after graduation. Fortysome years later, a book about The Feminine Mystique is starting out with a survey too. This just in from esteemed marriage scholar and friend Stephanie Coontz. Please pass it on — the survey is for younger women who came across the book in Women’s Studies courses as well as for those who read it when it first came out!

Writes Stephanie:

Thank you for agreeing to help in my study of the influence of Betty Friedan’s 1963 book “The Feminine Mystique.” I am trying to get a feel for how people in different time periods and situations reacted to this book, or merely to the general idea of a “feminine mystique,” whether or not they actually read the book. I have listed some questions below, but feel free to tell me anything you feel would be useful, and in as much detail as you choose.

If you heard the concept of “The Feminine Mystique” before — or without — reading the book, how and when did you hear of it? What did it mean to you? How did you react to the idea that there was a “feminine mystique”? Did a relative, spouse or friend read the book, and if so, what was their reaction? Did their reaction affect you in any way?

For people who read the book, can you tell me the year when you read it? Your age at the time? Were you married? Any children? Did you work for pay at the time? If so, at what? How did you come to read it?

Do you remember your overall reaction to the book? Did anything speak powerfully to you? Did anything anger you? What is your most vivid memory of reading it? Did it influence your life or relationships in any way?

Have you ever re-read the book? If so, why? Did your reaction change?

What is your ethnic or racial and socioeconomic background? Your current age and occupation? May I identify you by name if I quote from your response? Unless you explicitly give me permission to use your name in my book, I will not do so, nor will I offer details that might identify you.

I deeply appreciate any help you might give to this project. If there are questions I should have asked but neglected, please let me know that too. And if you have suggestions for other people I might contact, please let me know. You can e-mail your responses to coontzs@gmail.com

If in North Carolina, please do come out to hear anthology editor Shira Tarrant talk about her new book, Men Speak Out: Views on Gender, Sex, and Power. I’m in the middle of the collection right now and I swear, it’s great.

Event: Men Speak Out
“Author Reading and Town Hall Meeting on Men, Masculinity and Feminism”
What: Informational Meeting
Host: Women’s and Gender Studies
When: Tuesday, February 26 at 4:00pm
Where: Elliot University Center, Alexander Room, UNCG
RSVP here.

More events posted here. I can’t wait til Shira and the guys come to NYC!

I’ve just GOT to tell you all about this crazyamazing event I went to yesterday to celebrate Susan Morrison’s new edited collection, 30 Ways of Looking at Hillary, thrown by More magazine, at the swanky restaurant Daniel. I’m still trying to figure out how to write about it–and not just the nine herb ravioli with Jerusalem arthichoke puree and parmesean emulsion.

In the meantime, check out coverage in New York Daily News. An NPR interview with Susan is downloadable here.

(PunditMom: Did you get your copy?)