book reviews

This month Seal Press offers up another new anthology, About Face: Women Write about What They See When They Look in the Mirror, edited by Anne Burt and Christina Baker Kline. In this one, 24 women of varying ages (23 to 75) and races brave a standoff with their reflections. From the book’s description:

From lines to wrinkles, dark circles to freckles, a woman’s face tells the unique story of her life. In many ways it’s a roadmap — with each singular characteristic, crease, and blemish serving as a milestone of having lived, loved, and endured….In the essay “On Reflection,” contributor Patricia Chao stares at herself and dares to ponder who she is when she is not being loved or desired by a man. In “My Celebrity Face,” Alice Elliott Dark must endure hearing her college crush tell her that she looks like the man on the Quaker Oats box. This leads her to a life filled contradictions — but ultimately ends in contentment with the woman she’s become….About Face dares women to look at themselves — no flinching or turning away; no poses, and no excuses. Both challenging and warm, About Face will inspire women to examine their faces, flaws and all, and to learn to love what they see.

And hey wow: celebrity makeup artist Bobbi Brown wrote the foreword. Essayists include Jennifer Baumgardner, Bobbi Brown, Kristin Buckley, Marina Budhos, Patricia Chao, Alice Elliott Dark, Susan Davis, Louise DeSalvo, Bonnie Friedman, Kathryn Harrison, Annaliese Jakimides, Dana Kinstler, Benilde Little, Meredith Maran, Manijeh Nasrabadi, Ellen Papazian, Kym Ragusa, Jade Sanchez-Ventura, Pamela Redmond Satran, Rory Satran, Alix Kates Shulman, Catherine Texier, S. Kirk Walsh, and Kamy Wicoff.

Had I been writing an essay for this one (ahem! kidding. sort of), I would have written about my nose and teeth and ears — all of which caused me great suffering as a teenager. Right through the eighth grade, a mean boy named Jeff Foy called me, alternatingly, Bugs Bunny, Dumbo, and The Beak. Didn’t seem to help me to know that everyone called him Jeff Foy the Toy Boy. Yep, Jeff suffered too.

Anyway, as I was explaining just yesterday to a beautiful and dear friend, when your physical appearance was made fun of as a kid, that feeling of ugliness gets internalized. It’s often very hard to wish away. Adolescence may be time-limited, but that sense that there is something wrong with you persists. Shout outs to college, college therapists, and college boyfriends — all of whom, in my case, helped me face that self-doubt and feel better about, well, my face.

I look forward to reading this book! Would any GWP reader like to offer up a guest review? Email me at girlwpen@gmail.com and we’ll arrange.

There’s a new book out called Rumors of Our Progress Have Been Greatly Exaggerated by Congresswoman Carolyn Maloney (D-NY). How much more timely could a book be? Because it asks those nagging questions like, if women have made so much “progress,” why haven’t their lives gotten any easier? Why do most American women say they don’t get enough sleep and that balancing work and family is getting harder? Why do they make 77 cents to a man’s dollar? And why must Maloney still fight to preserve rights—such as educational equality and even birth control—that seemed secure in the 1970s?

Excellent questions, all. Read an excerpt, here.

Praise, from Gloria Steinem: “Carolyn Maloney has given us a factual, lively, life-saving book full of reasons why American women are told we’re already equal — when we’re anything but. She also tells us how to move forward anyway. If you have time for only one book to save your sanity, advance women’s equality, and connect your life to politics in this election year, Rumors of Our Progress Have Been Greatly Exaggerated is definitely it.”

And from a making-it-pop perspective, I must say I love the title. Nicely invocative, on some level, of phrases like The Revolution Will Not Be Televised, and, of course, that Mark Twain quote, Rumors of My Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated. Very clever, given the recurring media refrain that feminism is dead.

I’m a little slow getting back here today, but just wanted to post a heads up on an anthology I just learned about and will be talking about soon. It’s called Feminist Coalitions: Historical Perspectives on Second-Wave Feminism in the United States, edited by Stephanie Gilmore, Asst. Prof of Women’s Studies at Dickinson College. Sara Evans wrote the forward. The book comes out June 2. More soon!

University of Iowa journalism professor M. Gigi Durham has a debut book out called The Lolita Effect: The Media Sexualization of Young Girls and What We Can Do About It. And it’s about time. If I see one more ad for Beyonce’s clothing line featuring tarted up toddlers working it, I’m going to scream.

Here’s word on the book from Publisher’s Weekly:

We’ve all seen it–the tiny T-shirts with sexually suggestive slogans, the four-year-old gyrating to a Britney Spears song, the young boy shooting prostitutes in his video game–and…Durham has had enough. In her debut book, she argues that the media–from advertisements to Seventeen magazine–are circulating damaging myths that distort, undermine and restrict girls’ sexual progress. Durham, who describes herself as “pro-girl” and “pro-media,” does more than criticize profit-driven media, recognizing as part of the problem Americans’ contradictory willingness to view sexualized ad images but not to talk about sex. Chapters expose five media myths: that by flaunting her “hotness” a little girl is acting powerfully; that Barbie has the ideal body; that children–especially little girls–are sexy; that violence against women is sexy; and that girls must learn what boys want, but not vice versa. After debunking each myth, Durham offers practical suggestions for overcoming these falsehoods, including sample questions for parents and children. In a well-written and well-researched book, she exposes a troubling phenomenon and calls readers to action.

May this book–and its message–travel far and wide. For Salon’s review, click here.

Last night I went to one of those fabulous book parties that remind me why I love New York (and believe me, I needed the reminder; it had been a hectic week and this city often wears me down). The fabulousness was not the food (which was delicious) or the space (which was mind-blowing), but the people. It was fabulousness of a feminist variety.

The party was hosted by Gloria Steinem and in attendance were trailblazing women like Suzanne Braun Levine, Alix Cates Shulman, Joanne Edgar, Mia Herndon, and Amy’s longtime writing partner Jennifer Baumgardner, who beamed in the back as Amy was properly celebrated. I promise to share thoughts about Amy’s book Opting In: Having a Child without Losing Yourself which is why we were all there, of course, in another post very soon. But first let me just share that Gloria introduced Amy as “the smartest person I know.” If that isn’t a compliment, I don’t know what is.

Well if this isn’t the most timely book ever published, I don’t know what is. Deborah Carr, a brilliant sociologist at Rutgers, has teamed up with journalist Julie Halpert to write Making Up with Mom: Why Mothers and Daughters Disagree About Kids, Careers, and Casseroles (and What to Do About It). If they had timed it a bit differently, they could have easily added “and Candidates” to the subtitle. The book shows how generational differences in women’s lives have created (fixable) frictions between Gen X/Boomer women and their moms. I like the emphasis on “fixable.”

Here’s from the book description:

Young women today have infinitely more options than their mothers and grandmothers did decades ago. “Should I become a doctor, a writer, or a stay-at-home mom?” “Should I get married or live with my boyfriend?” “Do I want children?” Women in their twenties, thirties, and forties today are wrestling with life-altering decisions about work and family—and they need all the support they can get.

But the very person whose support they crave most—their mother—often can’t get on board, and a rift is created between the two generations, even for women who have always had a strong relationship.

A mother’s simple question, like “How can you trust a nanny to watch your children all day?” can bring her poised, accomplished CEO daughter to tears, or provoke a nasty response more suitable to a surly teenager than a leader of industry. Why can’t mothers and daughters today see eye to eye when it comes to important choices about love, work, children, money, and personal fulfillment? Why does a mother’s approval matter so much, even to the most confident and self-possessed daughter? And when daughters choose paths different from their mothers’, why is it so painful for the older generation?

Making Up with Mom answers these important questions by focusing on three core issues: dating/marriage, career, and child rearing. Relying on interviews with nearly a hundred mothers and daughters, and offering helpful tips from more than two dozen therapists, Julie Halpert and Deborah Carr explore a wide range of communication issues and how to resolve them, so mothers and daughters everywhere can reclaim their loving relationships. This enlightening book is a must-read for all women today.

The perfect gift for Mother’s Day?! The authors will be reading at Barnes & Noble in North Brunswick on Tuesday May 20 at 7:30 p.m. For more, check out www.makingupwithmom.com.

Interesting review this weekend by Janet Maslin in the NYTimes of a book called Girls Like Us: Carole King, Joni Mitchell, Carly Simon — and the Journey of a Generation ,
by Sheila Weller. Maslin calls it “a strong amalgam of nostalgia, feminist history, astute insight, beautiful music and irresistible gossip about the common factors in the three women’s lives.” Most interesting to me of course:

[I]t also has a point to make about sexual inequality in the era when these three women came of age. The ambition and posturing that turned middle-class Robert Zimmerman of Minnesota into Bob Dylan, Ms. Weller argues, were much more costly for women, no matter how freewheeling those women seemed. This book illustrates how Ms. Mitchell’s long-held secret about the baby she gave up for adoption was infinitely more punishing than the rambling, gambling male singer-songwriter’s stock way of paying his dues.

And most amusing:

There is something irritating about the very premise of “Girls Like Us,” Sheila Weller’s three-headed biography of legendary singer-songwriters. Maybe it’s the instant-girlfriend tone of the title. Maybe it’s that at least one of Ms. Weller’s subjects, Joni Mitchell, objected to being lumped into the same book with the other two, Carole King and Carly Simon. Or maybe it’s the euphemism. Her book is about women whose musical careers took off in the 1960s, and all are now in their 60s. They aren’t girls. They’re grandmas.

Go grandmas 🙂

Well, Rachel Kramer Bussel has done it again. A prolific erotica writer herself, Rachel gathers 26 other uninhibited women in her new collection from Seal titled Dirty Girls: Erotica for Women. Love that the book flap answers Freud’s infamously infuriating question, “What do women really want?” with the following: “They want it all.” Because “it all” is pretty much what you’ll find between these covers. And believe me, if you read it, you will only be left wanting one thing: More.

The collection is, as Rachel notes in her intro, “dirty and sweet, wrapped up in one.” Like Rachel herself–who also runs a cupcake blog (anyone catch her recent appearance on Martha Stewart? for reals). This recipe for good erotica starts, of course, by dutifully deconstructing “dirty.” Writes Rachel:

“All too often we denigrate the dirty girls–the ones who dare to publicly show their naughty sides–as incorrigible sluts rather than realizing just how exciting it is to tap into our lustiest selves. Once you crack the surface of those who are seeingly prim and proper–the demure suburban housewife, the suited up banker, the quet secretary, the curious bookworm, the shy computer nerd–you’ll very likely find that the simplicity of the word ‘dirty’ doesn’t go anywhere near far enough to describe the kinds that lurk within them.”

Ultimately, Dirty Girls is playful, yet hot. As couples therapist Esther Perel has noted elsewhere, democracy isn’t always the hottest thing when it comes to the bedroom, and the stories here are loath to follow any PC guidelines. Thank goodness. The result? A book filled with “erotic adrenaline.” Full of fantasy, yet real. Which, btw, reminds me of another recent nonfiction title, which I hear reads like a modern-day McKinnsey study, full of to-the-minute kinks. It’s called America Unzipped. I’d be eager to hear what Rachel has to say about it–in fact, I bet she’s blogged about it over at Lusty Lady. I’m off to check out the latest on her awesome (and inspiring!) blog.

For those who are local, Rachel is throwing a book party here in NYC on Thursday, where there will be BOOB cake from Moist and Tasty. At Sutra Lounge, 16 First Avenue off First Street, Thursday, April 10, 7-9, FREE, 21+. She’ll also be hitting Atlanta, where she’ll be talking, with others, at Sex 2.0. CONGRATS, Rachel, and thanks for giving us this book!

Today is my day to review Rachel Kramer Bussel’s new book, as part of a blog tour. And I promise my post is coming soon–just want to run out and catch some exercise before the day begins. I’m psyched to be in such good company on this one–check out who’s also reviewing as part of the tour, and do visit them too if interested:

April 9 Deborah Siegel
April 10 Babeland
April 11 NYC Urban Gypsy
April 12 FunkyBrown Chick
April 13 Boinkology
April 14 Audacia Ray
April 15 Pretty Dumb Things

For all you writers wondering how a blog tour actually works–and how to set one up for yourself–I’m teaching blogging seminars at upcoming conferences and will def cover the topic. For starters:

Council on Contemporary Families – April 26, U of Illinois, Chicago
National Council for Research on Women – June 7, New York University

After a month of being on the road, I’m finally able to get back to doing some book review posts. Here’s a preview of the pile that came in while I was gone–books I hope to be writing about here and there over the next few weeks. Judging just from their covers, I can’t wait to read them:

Dirty Girls: Erotica for Women, edited by Lusty Lady Rachel Kramer Bussel (hint: VERY hot cover)

It’s a Jungle Out There: The Feminist Survival Guide to Politically Inhospitable Environments, by Amanda Marcotte (love the superhero cover on this one!)

Maiden USA: Girl Icons Come of Age, by Kathleen Sweeney (haunting cover image of girl staring back)

Parenting, Inc.: How We Are Sold on $800 Strollers, Fetal Education, Baby Sign Language, Sleeping Coaches, Toddler Couture, and Diaper Wipe Warmers–and What It Means for Our Children, by Pamela Paul (awesome subtitle is so long not much room for image, but image is of baby in a dollar-patterned diaper and very a propros)

Stay tuned…!