For my (new!) regular column over at She Writes, called She Writes on Fridays (because “she’s” trying, really really trying), I wrote a very Mama w/Pen-ish post, which I wanted to share here.  In “Through the Maternal Looking Glass,” I struggle with the inevitable question: is “mommy blogging” narcissistic?  Of wider interest? Neither? Both?

Sayeth fellow GwP blogger Natalie Wilson in comments over there: “The “new momism” documented by Susan Douglas is alive and well. We are supposed to be do-it-all supermoms consumed with our children. Yet, dare we blog/write about this and we are narcissists. Post-feminist society my foot. Adrienne Rich is rolling in her grave..”

And sayeth my partner in crime over at She Writes Kamy Wicoff: Bad writing is narcissistic. The narcissist fails to observe the telling details; fails to achieve the clarity and compassionate attention which characterize the writing that moves us and changes us. Are male coming-of-age stories, so ubiquitous in our literature, narcissistic by definition, simply because of the perspective from which they are told? Diminishing women who write simply because they write about motherhood is indefensible — the deeper question, I think, is whether writing that takes place in nearly real time, a kind of continuous unedited “feed” from a person’s latest experience to a written form shared with the world, can be GOOD or not. If it’s good, I’m in. If it’s not, I’m out.

What sayeth YOU?

(Photo cred: We Picture This)

Last Monday, I closed on the first apartment I have ever owned. It took a year to sell. We had to move to a rental to make room for the twins before it sold. It drained my savings. It is a huge relief.

Closing was, quite frankly, exhilarating. But equally exhilarating was the odd thrill of having now four-month old twins, and especially my four-month old daughter, in that fancy mahogany boardroom with me, where the signing took place. Gave a whole new meaning to that cliched car window sticker “Baby on Board,” if you know what I mean.

Closings themselves are surreal, with multiple strangers in the room–bank representatives, lawyers, agents, plus the parties involved in the sale–and reams of papers passing back and forth. In my case, there were also two babies and one grandmother. Talk about crazy soup.

Humor me for a moment while I recap.

The transaction begins with the buyers’ lawyer asking them about their wills, and how, since they are not married, they would like to transfer the property should one of them meet with an untimely end. I sit across from them and try to render myself invisible during what seems like it should be a highly private exchange. My daughter sits perched on the dark wood table, staring into the middle distance. My mother paces the hallway with my son. My lawyer arrives, late.

The payoff woman arrives and sits with her parka still on, reading Something Borrowed, a chick lit staple. I find it amusing that the mortgage lady is reading a book with this title. I reflect, for a moment, on what’s really happening here. My life has changed drastically since the day I sat across a similar table as a first-time buyer. I have a new husband, two kids. I am 41 and at the beginning of what already feels like the very best chapter. Something old(ish) and something new. I inhale deeply. Baby Girl burps, then falls asleep.

Everything seems to be going swimmingly. Then, suddenly, mass panic over a missing lien search. Everyone’s on his and her cell phone, trying to track it down. I’m instructed to call the attorney who represented me during the purchase to see if he has it, only I can’t remember his name. At just this moment, my mother wanders in asking for help opening a formula bottle, holding Baby Boy, who looks nonplussed. Foreign words like “contin” and “endeminity” fly overhead. Someone says something about needing five thousand in escrow. All of a sudden, a fax comes in. Problem solved. And then, the furious writing of checks.

Baby Girl wakes up just as I sign the final documents. And it’s corny, maybe, but I flash forward and think about her in 40 years and wonder if she might be sitting at the head of a table like this one again one day. According to the latest report from Catalyst, women held 15.2 percent of board seats at Fortune 500 companies in 2009, the same as 2008. At this pace, it’s not looking good for Baby Girl if she decides she’d like to try her hand at corporate power, but still, a mama can dream.

And then, just like that, the closing is over. I awake. My broker pulls out a bottle of champagne, along with two Baby Gap bags with gifts for the babies. I kiss Baby Girl, I hug my broker, and my own mama and I pack up the babies and head back out into the Manhattan wind.

It’s a day of closure and a fresh start. Snuggled down in the Double Snap N Go, Baby Boy gurgles and gives me his broad, toothless grin. Baby Girl is sleeping again, and I can’t wait to tell her one day when she’s old enough to understand about the day she sat at the boardroom table, her hands in tight little fists, taking it all in.

And now, a message from my friends at the Women’s Media Center:

Are you the next Rachel Maddow? Do you want to become a political commentator serving as a strong progressive voice in the media? Apply for Progressive Women’s Voices today!!

Progressive Women’s Voices is the premier media and leadership training program serving women in our country and will help you master effective interview presentation techniques and improve your skills to serve as thought leaders for the media. In joining Progressive Women’s Voices, you will become a part of a powerful network of women leaders who are changing the conversation on the important issues of the day.

Progressive Women’s Voices starts with a competitive application process, with final candidates chosen by a committee that includes WMC Founders Jane Fonda, Gloria Steinem, Robin Morgan, and the WMC board. Women’s Media Center will host three PWV classes, including a total of thirty women from across the country. The application deadline for the first class is February 28, with trainings to be held April 16-18 and May 14-16 in New York City. Travel, accommodation, and training expenses are paid for completely by the WMC.

Women representing diverse backgrounds, areas of expertise, professions, ethnicities, ages, geographical regions and levels of experience are encouraged to apply (including those who have previously applied). For more information about Progressive Women’s Voices, click here.

Apply for Progressive Women’s Voices today!! Or click here to nominate a friend.

Peace,

Jehmu, Rebekah, Stephanie
& the WMC Team

This week there’s a heated thread running through the Park Slope Parents listserv about the appropriateness of reprimanding other people’s misbehaved kids in public spaces. The thread hits a nerve, because I definitely used to be that cranky person who scowled silently when other people’s children ran reckless in a crowded restaurant or played freeze tag in the checkout line. And then something changed. My twins were born. Since their arrival, that wave of annoyance that wells up when somebody else’s child whoops it up at the very moment I crave peace has not exactly subsided, but it’s transformed. Now, instead, I get curious. I project: What will my children be like when they’re that age?

Until I had my own, I was never a kid person. I hated babysitting. I was raised sibling-free. I grew into a grown up who often found kids who weren’t related to me bothersome. In my twenties, I knew (hoped?) that I’d want a kid of my own one day, but only vaguely, the same way I thought it might be nice to have a puppy. Rarely did I think concretely about what it might be like to be pregnant, or raise a child, or be someone’s mother. There were times in recent years when I actually wondered if the ubiquitous maternal instinct would kick in when my time came, or whether it would pass me over. I knew that if I had kids I’d love them. But would I love being their mother?

As part of a generation raised to view the so-called phenomenon of abandoning hard won careers for full-time motherhood with a healthy dose of skepticism, my unease about whether motherhood would suit me also meshed with fear. Coming to late motherhood in the shadow of all those dread media stories about women opting out, part of me feared motherhood for its very lure. I wouldn’t be able to quit working once I had a child, due to financial necessity, but I wondered if I would wish I could.

Now that the twins are here (4 months old next week!), and I’m engaged in compelling work with like-minded collaborators–some of whom are themselves similarly struggling to make work fit with motherhood as well as the other way around–I’m not so worried about being tempted to abandon my other life’s work. It’s not merely financial. It’s core.

And as for my proclivity to scowl at other people’s children, and my worrying whether maternal instinct would kick in? While I don’t think I’d call this instinct, my maternal lens has come into focus since my babies arrived. To wit: On a snowy day like the one we had this week, my Brooklyn neighborhood is a cornucopia of cuteness. Kids stuffed into snowsuits slide by our apartment window, pulled by their parents on toboggans on their way to the park. Must be something about the coziness of winter and all those teeny mittens. I pass a child on the icy sidewalk holding his father’s hand and flash forward to the day when my son and my daughter will be walking by my side, each of their mittened hands holding one of my own.

I’m thrilled to share news that Veronica Arreola has been awarded an Impact Award from the Chicago Foundation for Women.  Read all about it right here.

In addition to penning our SCIENCE GRRL column of course, Veronica the Assistant Director of the Center for Research on Women and Gender and directs the Women in Science and Engineering Program at UIC. She has worked with numerous feminist organizations including the Chicago Abortion Fund, National Organization for Women and Women In Media & News. She’s a veteran blogger who contributes to a handful of sites including Kenneth Cole’s AWEARNESS blog, and Chicagonista. Veronica’s writing has appeared in Chicago Parent, Bitch, Ms., Alternet, RH Reality Check and in the forthcoming Encyclopedia of Motherhood. She has appeared in the Chicago Tribune and Chicago Sun-Times as well as on WFLD TV and WGN Radio. She was featured in an Emmy Award-winning story on WGN TV, “The B-Word.” Veronica has received the UIC Chancellor’s Committee on the Status of Women’s 2007 Woman of the Year, and she is a graduate of the Women’s Media Center’s Progressive Women’s Voices training program.

Join me in sending her congrats!

Please join me in extending a heartfelt welcome to our newest monthly blogger here at GwP: Natalie Wilson! As Heather mentioned yesterday, Natalie will be bringing us a monthly column called POP GOES FEMINISM, which will serve up feminist intersectional analysis of, you got it, pop culture.  A literature and women’s studies scholar, blogger, and author, Natalie teaches at Cal State San Marcos and specializes in the areas of gender studies, feminism, feminist theory, girl studies, militarism, body studies, boy culture and masculinity, contemporary literature, and popular culture.She is author of the blogs Professor, what if…? and Seduced by Twilight. She also writes the guest column Monstrous Musings for the Womanist Musings blog. She is currently writing a book examining the contemporary vampire craze from a feminist perspective.

Her inaugural post for GwP, an offering under Heather’s GLOBAL MAMA column titled “The Mommy Myth that Will Not Die,” sparked a superlively conversation here, which I urge you to check out!

Welcome, Natalie!  We’re so excited–and so lucky– to have you as part of the team!

If in NYC, join me at this year’s Memoir-a-thon sponsored by Brooklyn Reading Works! It’s the first time I’ll be reading with my hubby, graphic designer/writer Marco Acevedo.  Deets:

Memoirathon at The Old Stone House (Third Street & Fifth Avenue in Park Slope), Feb 11 @ 8pm

And a note from the organizers about this year’s theme:

A lot of New Yorkers have their own recession story to tell, whether it’s from the past year, the past decade or the accumulation of a lifetime.

During this year’s Memoir-a-thon, you will get to listen to the personal reflections and insights on how some writers have managed to survive, preserve their sanity and even have fun during hard times.

You’ll be amazed to discover just how resilient and resourceful people can be, while still managing to find humor, cause for reflection and even gratitude, in some of life’s most challenging situations.

Whether you found the past year “the year you’d like to forget” or “the year of positive thinking”, you will be inspired and entertained by tonight’s lineup of writers who talk about infinitely new ways of being.

Lori Rotskoff (of “Beyond Pink and Blue” fame!) has come over for a visit and work session today and we are sitting here digging up treasures like this — just had to share:

Yep, that’s Michael Jackson.  As Lori’s 8 year old son said to her after seeing this, “I guess Michael didn’t learn the message of the song.”

Just a quick share:

The Council on Contemporary Families has opened nominations for its Eighth Annual Media Awards for Outstanding Coverage of Family Issues competition. We (I’m on the Board!) honor outstanding journalism that contributes to the public understanding of contemporary family issues, in particular the story behind the story: how diverse families are coping with social and economic change; what they need to flourish; and how these needs can best be met.

The Council will present three awards — two for journalism in text form (print- or web-based); and one for broadcast journalism (audio or video).  CCF recognizes that America needs a balanced national conversation about the cultural, legal, and psychological issues that shape both private life and public policy. Essential partners in this process are the reporters and producers who present complicated family issues in their broader social context.

Past winners include journalists from USA Today, Time magazine, the Boston Globe, the San Antonio Express-News, the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, the Philadelphia Inquirer, KPCC (Southern California Public Radio), Thirteen/WNET, AlterNet, the Associated Press, among many others. Topics have ranged from the consequences of parental snooping on tech-obsessed teens to hunger in Oklahoma and the role of religion in American family life. You can read about last year’s winners, who reported on raising special-needs children, contentment and self-sufficiency among older women living alone, and life in three Texan foster-care families.

Writers, editors, and producers may self-nominate.  For the nomination form, and more info, go here!

She Writes (my new venture, with Kamy Wicoff and now a small but mighty team) is growing, growing, growing.

Psst! Please pass it on!  The search is officially open.

Position: COO, She Reads/She Writes
Reports To: Kamy Wicoff, CEO and Founder, She Reads/ She Writes
Location: New York, NY

The Opportunity: She Reads/She Writes (SRSW) is the leading online social destination for women writers and readers today. With almost 7,000 members since its inception in June 2009, professional women writers like bestselling authors Sarah Dunant, Julie Metz, Jacquelyn Mitchard, and Gretchen Rubin, and award-winning authors like Kate Christensen, Kathryn Harrison, and Francine Prose, are sharing support, their experiences – and doing business – on She Writes. She Reads will launch in the fall of 2010.

With a strong foundation meeting a highly targeted need in the market, the Company is now focused on scaling She Writes into a highly profitable online resource for women writers while simultaneously launching and growing She Reads into a thriving social network of women readers, eventually to become a publisher of original content.

The Company is seeking a founding business partner and Chief Operating Officer to further develop and refine the business side of She Reads/She Writes. Specific expertise should be in developing and growing revenue streams highly valuable to this target market, including:

•    Connecting publishing experts with authors through She Writes Services
•    Offering classes through the She Writes Studio
•    Classifieds for monetizing business transactions on the site
•    Strategic partnerships
•    Curation and publishing of original content
•    Book club services

The partner will be responsible for She Reads/She Writes financial planning and analysis, day-to-day operations, fundraising and business development.

Candidate Profile:
The ideal candidate is passionate about empowering women writers and is an avid reader her or himself. Candidate brings strong business and operational expertise in either early stage companies or within profitable business units of a larger organization. Candidate can manage the financial and accounting organizations while ensuring the company scales with a culture of respect, passion and flawless execution.

A demonstrated track record of direct deal making and negotiation is preferred.

CONTACT:
Kamy Wicoff
Founder/CEO She Writes
12 Desbrosses Street
New York, NY 10007
212-400-4839
kamy@shewrites.com