Yesterday Newsweek ran a story entitled “Like A Virgin No More: MySpace Generation Brides Go For Sexy, Not Virginal,” and explored “why modern brides are opting for racy gowns, wild bachelorette parties and sexy Maxim-style pre-wedding photo shoots.”
Newsweek reports:
Two decades ago, when young girls wondered how brides were supposed to look and behave, they’d most likely conclude—with some prompting from Cinderella—that on their big day they’d be a princess. They’d be blushing, virginal and wrapped from head to toe in tulle and lace.
So why is it that these days, some brides seem to be taking their cues more from Jessica Rabbit than Cinderella? More vamp than virgin, they’re having bachelorette parties that are as raunchy as their fiancés’ sendoffs. They’re selecting cleavage- or lower-back-baring bridal gowns that might get a gasp from conservative relatives. “A big-selling style is a sheer lace corset midriff,” says Millie Martini Bratten, the editor in chief of Brides magazine. “It’s clearly meant to look like you’re seeing through someone’s shirt.” And today’s wife-to-be is hiring photographers for what are called “boudoir shoots,” where they pose Maxim magazine-style in lingerie or nothing at all and give the prints to their grooms—a trend that Bratten says began about three years ago. “It’s the ultimate display of freedom and empowerment,” says Bee-Bee Kim, the founder of Weddingbee.com, a wedding-planning site that gets more than a million unique visitors a month.
What is going on here? Lucky for us, they consult several sociologists…
The rise of the bride who is more bold than blushing can be explained by a host of sociological factors, most of which have nothing to do with the word “bridezilla.” For one, our entire culture is loosening up and becoming more sexualized, and taking the wedding ceremony—and young girls’ dreams of what theirs will be like—with it.
This is, after all, is a generation that is comfortable with “sexting” and posting provocative pictures of themselves on Facebook and MySpace. And it’s an age when respected actresses and role models pose seductively on the covers of the lad magazines. “In American society now, you see little girls being sexed up,” says Chrys Ingraham, a sociologist and author ofWhite Weddings: Romancing Heterosexuality in Popular Culture, a critique of the wedding industry. “You can’t disconnect that from the way the wedding industry is going. We have 13-year-olds getting makeovers and having oral sex.”
…
The first glimpse of the bride as sexpot came with racy bachelorette parties. According to the sociologist Beth Montemurro, author of Something Old, Something Bold: Bridal Showers and Bachelorette Parties, these become more popular after sexually liberated working women started appearing on television programs likeMoonlighting or Murphy Brown in the late ’80s and ’90s. Women decided they wanted a real night out, too, instead of afternoon gifting and the bride in a hat made of ribbons from the presents she got. “The women I interviewed didn’t like bridal showers,” Montemurro says. “They saw their fiancés going out and having these nights where they were drinking, and thought, ‘It’s not fair that I’m in this stilted ritual where I have to act very feminine and proper while the guys are going out and having fun’.” Strip clubs, bars and whoever makes those glow-in-the-dark penis-shaped rings capitalized on this sentiment by marketing to brides, and women everywhere adorned in condom-covered veils went out to celebrate.
Newsweek’s assessment?
While most sociologists agree that women admitting to lust and wanting to be sexually empowered is a good thing, they see a problem with making exhibitionism the centerpiece of the wedding ceremony: it might crowd out other aspects of the marriage. “You’re highlighting what should just be a piece of the relationship,” says Stephanie Coontz, a social historian and the author ofMarriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage, which looks at how recent the idea of marrying for love is. “I worry that it can take over. The message you’re sending about your appearance can override other conversations you should be having about your future.” And in what she wants for the future, Jessica Rabbit has got nothing on the average American bride.
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