Meems, who blogs at The Inbetweenie, recently received an email from Barnes & Noble with suggested books for Mother’s Day gifts. She was distressed to notice that the most prominently-placed book, listed under the “top reads for every mom” category, was a diet book:
Yes, a diet book is an appropriate gift for every mother.
Meems says she can’t imagine giving her mother a dieting book for Mother’s Day. I have had the misfortune to witness this type of gift-giving, since my mom gained a significant amount of weight when she was pregnant with my two sisters and never lost it. She didn’t like the way she looked and was often trying out various diets or exercise routines. And every so often someone would give her a weight-loss-related gift for her birthday or Christmas. I presume they thought they were being nice — she’s always on diets and wants to lose weight, why not give her something to help? But she found it incredibly embarrassing, since it reinforced that other people agreed that her weight was unacceptable and meant her weight often became the subject of open discussion among everyone there. It also meant if she tried whatever it was and didn’t lose a lot of weight, she had the normal feelings of failure plus the fear that the person who gave her the gift would be disappointed in her.
Weight-loss related items are, generally, problematic gift ideas. They put the recipient into the position of having to acknowledge in front of anyone watching them open the gift that their weight is considered unacceptable, and that the person giving the gift agrees with that. Even if a person wants to lose weight and is actively trying to do so, they may not wish to have their weight brought up unexpectedly and opened up for public discussion.
If you are stumped on what to get your mother for Mother’s Day (assuming you get anything at all), if my own upbringing is any guide I can tell you with absolute certainty that moms love receiving a pet goat for Mother’s Day.*
* Soc Images does not actually advocate giving live animals as surprise gifts.
Comments 19
Brigette — May 7, 2011
Last night on Nightline on ABC, they said that the gift that most mothers would like for Mother's Day is plastic surgery. :(
Just a thought… « A Day in the (Fat) Life — May 7, 2011
[...] Source: http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2011/05/07/barnes-noble-mothers-day-gift-guide/ [...]
jehan — May 7, 2011
hey mom, happy mothers day, now why don't you go and get on a diet? it's just dumb!
tree — May 7, 2011
i'm sure some mothers would love a pet goat! (i am not a mother, but we had three mini goats as pets/eaters of the tiny wildernesses on our property, and i certainly would have never complained about another.) alternatively, you could buy someone else a pet goat through oxfam on your mother's behalf. :) in short, goats > diet books.
Anonymous — May 7, 2011
Oh, barf. What a horrible Mother's Day gift. I'd be much more tempted to whap anyone who got this for me as a gift than to thank them.
MJS — May 7, 2011
I'm guessing whoever made this just found statistics about what books were being bought by women aged 30-60 then cut and pasted the top three items without thinking. It does say "Top Reads for Every Mother"
Jarrod — May 7, 2011
Add this to just one more way in which many women are reminded that their bodies don't fit into the stereotypical mold. I did an informal content analysis of what one website deemed to be the "Top 10 Most Popular Magazines" for women. Of those magazines listed, the topic listed centered on 1. How to please a man sexually, 2. How to lose weight (to better enable #3), and 3. Sexy fashions (usually intended to lead back to #1). It is unfortunate (to say the least) that this is the message which reaches people day in and day out.
Anonymous — May 8, 2011
If you want to see something even more offensive, check out this add currently running in the UK called 'P&G Proud Sponsors of Mums'. Basically P&G are a conglomerate company containing several brands spanning 'beauty and household products' who are current sponsors of the 2012 Olympics to be hosted in London. Here is the blurb about this vile add on one of their sites:
"A series of photographs shows small children with their mothers, who are not quite seen completely in the picture. Screen messages make the point that mothers are always there but not always seen, and the narrator concludes that P&G are proud sponsors of mums. A number of the P&G brand logos rotate as they change from one to another and then resolve into the P&G one"
In the add mothers are neither seen or heard, for they are like "air" never to take centre stage (for a mother does not exist for herself, she exists for her family). This add distills all the fears that every woman has of becoming (or rather being made to become) 'Mother'....
http://www.visit4ads.com/advert/Sponsor-of-Mums-PG/90433
Anonymous — May 8, 2011
I would think it would be common sense not to give anyone a diet book as a gift?
Barnes & Noble Suggests Diet Book as Ideal Mother’s Day Gift | aromatherapyguides.org — May 8, 2011
[...] really hoping for this year for Mother’s Day is that you tell her that. The company recently sent an email to subscribers with a Mother’s Day gift list, and the most prominently featured book was a diet [...]
Monday Link Roundup | BasBleuStocking — May 9, 2011
[...] that a book on dieting is an appropriate gift for all mothers; Sociological Images discusses why such a gift might do more harm than good. (Sociological Images has more interesting stuff related to Mother’s Day here, here, and [...]
Quercki — May 12, 2011
A goat is a good gift.
A friend of mine always gets our small group of friends a goat from Heifer International. Or some other animal--she's considering a water buffalo if finances allow.
http://www.heifer.org/site/c.edJRKQNiFiG/b.2529663/?msource=TH1J100025
A Diet Gift Is A Gift Of Shame — May 12, 2013
[...] Gwen Sharp explains further on the Sociological Pages in a post Barnes & Noble Mothers Day Gift Guide [...]