motherhood

Taking a moment away from BlogHer to note that tomorrow’s New York Times Magazine article, “Family-Leave Values” by Eyal Press, features the work of two stellar scholars, Joan Williams and Shelley Correll. Here’s a sneak-preview, courtesy of Steve Mintz of the Council on Contemporary Families:

The results, as reported in the May 2007 issue of The American Journal of Sociology, are striking. Among the volunteers, mothers were consistently viewed as less competent and less committed and were held to higher performance and punctuality standards. They were 79 percent less likely to be hired and, if hired, would be offered a starting salary $11,000 lower than nonmothers. Fathers, by contrast, were offered the highest salaries of all. Meanwhile, in the test run with real-world employers, the hypothetical female applicants without children were more than twice as likely as equally qualified mothers to be called back for interviews.

Sigh. The mommy gap is alive and well.

How much am I loving the Women’s Leadership Initiative at Demos? They’re sponsoring a forum on my book on July 26 in NYC (save the date!). But I also love them for highlighting “fresh thinking, research and writing by and about the importance of women’s leadership in building a strong democracy and securing economic prosperity.” I mean, what’s better than that?

If in the area, don’t miss their forum this week on Moms Who Work: Myth and Reality

Thurs., June 28, 2007
Program from 12:15-1:45 pm at Demos
220 Fifth Ave, 5th Floor
New York, NY

Here’s the deal:

Join Demos and co-sponsors for a discussion with E.J. Graff on the realities faced by working mothers (and their families) in the U.S. today. Drawing upon her article “The Opt Out Myth” published in the March/April 2007 edition of the Columbia Journalism Review, Graff will dispel myths perpetuated by misleading reporting and media hype, such as the “opt-out revolution” and the “mommy wars”– and will discuss how those storylines can harm public policy.

Panelists will respond to Graff with research, analysis, and discussion about the real issues facing various groups of working women; how advocates are creating policies to support women and their families; and what more still needs to be done: Carol Jenkins, Women’s Media Center; Linda Lisi Juergens, National Association of Mothers’ Centers (NAMC); and Lois K. Backon, Families and Work Institute. This event will be moderated by Linda Tarr-Whelan, Distinguished Senior Fellow at Demos.

Co-sponsored by: The Schuster Institute for Investigative Journalism at Brandeis University, Women’s Media Center, Families & Work Institute, National Association of Mothers Centers, The Columbia Journalism Review

Perhaps, finally, we’re beginning to see a reality check on the “opt out” mythology: witness the astute coverage of recent books and articles on mom professionals who opt back in. Don’t miss Helaine Olen’s interview with Pamela Stone (author of Opting Out? Why Women Really Quit Careers and Head Home) on Babble. And check out the excellent forum with Stone, Bennetts, and others in the current issue of More, and the accompanying article by Leslie Morgan Steiner titled, aptly, “Back in Business.”

Among the enticing stack of books currently on my desk is one called Back on the Career Track: A Guide for Stay-at-Home Moms Who Want to Return to Work, by Carol Fishman Cohen and Vivian Steir Rabin–two Harvard MBAs who sucessfully relaunched after staying home full-time with their kids. And perhaps of greatest interest to Girl with Pen Terrified And Excited About The Concept of Motherhood is another one called Mothers on the Fast Track: How a New Generation Can Balance Family and Careers.

According to my lame but stalwart built-in thesaurus, OPT (v) means “to choose something or choose to do something, usually in preference to other available alternatives.” Pamela Stone’s Opting Out? Why Women Really Quite Careers and Head Home is the book I’ve been waiting for.

Instead of focusing reductively on women’s “choices” (who has choices when alternatives are limited?), Stone charts the institutional obstacles and cultural pressures that leave even the most advantaged women feeling pushed out. Stone writes as a sociologist, a scholar of women’s careers, and a mother. But here’s why I love this book: Instead of blaming women, imploring us to “get back to work” (a la Linda Hirschman) or warning us (Leslie Bennetts-style) that we’re all making a dastardly mistake, her message is one that, as a Gen Xer staring into the crosshairs of burgeoning career and potential motherhood, is far more palatable to hear.

Stone lets her subjects — mothers in their 30s and 40s who “time out” from professional careers — describe their trajectories in unstructured interviews, giving voice to a group we have heard much about but have not heard. She lambasts the media for sensationalizing our so-called mass exodus — which, in truth, is not so massive and reflects neither a sea-change in values among feminism’s daughters nor the modernization of the feminine mystique.

Opting Out? fills a void — virtually no real research has been done before on women leaving careers — and it’s the question mark in the title that propels the book. Stone looks at who these women are who leave and head home (whether permanently or temporarily), why they walk away from years of training and accomplishment to take on “full-time” motherhood, and what happens after they do. She looks at the implications of their leaving for the workplaces they leave behind, and the impact their decisions have on other women — female coworkers and, especially, younger women embarking on careers. Loaded with facts and real data, the introduction alone is worth the price of the book.

Stone found that the women she interviewed quit as a last resort, and for reasons of work, not family. She calls their decision is “a kind of silent strike” and describes their failed efforts to re-invent the workplace in their image: “These women had alternative visions of how to work and be a mother, yet their attempts to maintain their careers on terms other than full-time plus were penalized, not applauded; it was quitting that earned them kudos.” Stone emphasizes that these women’s stories are not over, that most are still in the process of re-invention — but leaves us wondering, how will the next chapter unfold?

Anyone acquainted with the research knows that younger women and girls aspire to professional achievement. It’s made headline news. As a recent New York Times story and books like Courtney Martin’s Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters make perfectly clear, Millennial strivers are ambitious to the point of extremes. Daughters of a half-finished revolution, this generation (as well as my own) lives suspended between the expectation of a world ready to open its arms to us and the reality of a world not yet fully transformed. Books like Stone’s have the potential to rally without blaming, and incite without fear. Let’s hope it finds its audience — working women present and future pondering their limited options and the workplaces that, drained of such women’s talent, should have no choice but to change and offer us alternatives to heading home.

On Saturday, May 12, The Today Show will air a discussion about “Women Who Opt Out” of the workforce and what happens next with MojoMom, Leslie Bennetts, Lisa Belkin, Linda Hirshman, and Gail Saltz. Mojo will be the youngest of the bunch (Gen X), and adds a fresh perspective to the debate. Promises to provide good fodder for some much-needed intergenerational conversation and, perhaps, I hope, myth-busting…Stay tuned.