men

Marc (aka Feminist Dad) posted a comment here the other day in response to my Skirt essay which I’d like to share, cuz I’m going to be writing/thinking a lot about this topic over the next few months for a project I’m working on, and cuz I think his comment is really interesting. Writes Marc:

It’s funny, I have been that sole guy in the audience several times, but I usually don’t think to ask this question [the question being the one I mention in my Skirt piece, “what does contemporary feminism have to say to a new generation of men?” – GWP]. Before I was a Dad, I thought there was a new generation of transformed men. Now that I stay at home part time with my daughter, I have entered a decidedly Mom’s World. I now think the public role for men has shifted to make them *appear* more sensitive. Take for example, the Baby Bjorn. Usually men wear them – at least in pictures – it’s their public role of baby carrying. Does this translate to more time spent at home doing housework or child care? I don’t think so, and as you say in your article, the research doesn’t support it. We seem to have a new generation of men, but one where public and symbolic caring is the norm. Finally, feminism should have nothing to say *to* the men. If men are feminists, then what practices can they offer to support their sentiment?

(Thank you, Marc!)

I found it interesting that on the Baby Bjorn site’s homepage, it’s a dad wearing the bjorn 🙂 Public and symbolic caring and carrying? Or emblem of transforming roles?

The current issue of Skirt magazine is now out, and I have an essay in it that begins like so:

As I crisscrossed the country this summer giving talks and reading from my new book, Sisterhood, Interrupted: From Radical Women to Grrls Gone Wild, women in Birkenstocks, girls in flip flops, and ageless ladies with open faces asked me thoughtful questions about feminism, future and past. And in every audience, there he was, too. Often sitting alone, sometimes with his girlfriend, a brave young son of feminism invariably wanted to know what a new generation’s feminism had to say to a new generation of men.

It’s a question I’ve been asking myself of late. Because I’m gripped by the flipside of that question too: Women have changed so much over the course of the past four decades. Have men? Read more

Alison Piepmeier has an essay in it too!

Since I know my boy’s gonna post somewhere on Blade Runner at the Ziegfield soon, I thought I’d beat him to the punch (left)–hehe. I’m home vege-ing out over Big Shots, which btw has got to be the stupidest new show of fall. Though the guys do throw out some superintelligent zingers. Like this:

“Quick! Someone talk about baseball so they don’t kick us out of the men’s steam room!”

I’ll take Harrison Ford over these caricatures any day. Happy birthday, Blade.

It’s breast cancer awareness month, and everyone is seeing pink. Check out what PunditMom has to say about it all here. Tara Parker Pope weighs in at the New York Times blog, Well. And definitely don’t miss the Think Before You Pink website.

On a related note, the Feminist Law Professors weigh in on pink guns.

All in all, pink sure is a loaded color. When a boy recently wore a pink shirt to his new school, he got made fun of and called gay. But check out the solidarity of his male classmates, who showed up the next day, along with all the other boys they could rally, in pink tank tops, showing their support of the boy who was bullied. Gives a whole ‘nother meaning to pink solidarity, huh.

Suggestion: for a quick, deep glimpse into the heart of the beast, go for half-hour treadmill workout at your local gym where you can gaze at a battery of overhead flatscreen TVs, each tuned to a different channel.

A random sequence of images from this morning’s visit:
—an endlessly repeated video clip of a vicious girl fight in a high school locker room
—a promo for the Bionic Woman (much running, jumping, drop-kicking of bad-guys)
—a music video of Jennifer Lopez beating the crap out of more bad-guys in a brothel or something, setting an example for the oppressed sistahs
—a Hummer barrels menacingly towards the viewer through a nighttime wilderness, scaring off would-be attackers (wolves, scorpions); in a second ad the Hummer is shown from a gamer’s POV, barreling into a morphing sequence of rough terrains (desert, arctic, tundra).
— yet another news story on a private “security” firm killing more civilians in Iraq, two women shot dead in their car

What seems to be the signal cutting through all the media noise? Is it that it’s OK now for women to be violent, because, hey, we all get to watch, while men have ramped up to the next level and gone invisible (and unaccountable), inside our all-terrain, obstacle-and-reality-proof paramilitary vehicles? We can’t be sure. But let wolves, scorpions, the environment and helpless civilians beware.

[UPDATE: Deborah Siegel was originally slated to appear on MSNBC this afternoon to comment on the Ohio middle school girl fight video mentioned above, but the story was preempted by the tragic school shooting in Cleveland. With shock and sadness we recognize that the two events are part of a broader ongoing crisis — rage and violence amidst our children — which seems to compound itself day by day. Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims in Cleveland and their families.]

Did ya’ll see that article in Newsweek from Sept. 30, “Father Time”? Well, I just caught it and the most interesting finding, I thought, was this: The researchers expected that the dads who were really involved were going to be the dads who had working spouses. But that wasn’t the case. “In fact,” explains University of Maryland sociologist Suzanne Bianchi, “dads are more involved over time whether their spouse is working outside the home or not.”

And why are dadly responsibilities changing? Says Bianchi,

“Dads had a clearer message in the 1960s about how they were supposed to behave: they were supposed to earn a living. Maybe now it’s less clear that breadwinning is enough. We still expect dads to be good breadwinners, but it’s not sufficient: you’re also supposed to be caring and nurturing your children. I think men are also taking cues from their wives. Just because moms go to work doesn’t mean they lose the feeling they should be involved moms. And dads are also picking up the message.”

(Hey Paul, dude, fatherman, when are we going for lunch?!)

For those not in the know, Halo 3, which launched in the U.S. on September 25th, is the latest in an extremely popular series of “first-person shooter” video games which are the cornerstone of Microsoft’s XBox 360 empire. Microsoft has declared Halo 3 to be “the biggest entertainment launch in history.” And just who exactly plunked down the bucks? Well, I haven’t yet found hard numbers, but there seem to be no surprises on the gender front — at least according to the amusing video below from online pop magazine JetSet, wherein an intrepid (and exasperated) girl reporter goes on the hunt for gamergrrls at a Halo launch event.

It’s quite likely you are sitting there thinking “Well, thank God there aren’t more young women wasting their days and brain cells on such violent, proto-jingoistic tripe.” Ah, BUT… as reported just a couple of weeks ago by The Economist and then by Jezebel, a study conducted by the University of Toronto demonstrated how women’s spatial acuity (i.e. spotting “unusual objects … in [one’s] field of vision,” etc.) is dramatically and permanently improved after playing ten hours of Medal of Honour: Pacific Assault. “Join us or DIE!” seems to be the subliminal message to women here; but doesn’t the market support other types of games, with all the benefits and none of the (virtual) bloodshed? After all, there may actually be more women gamers in the U.S. than men: according to an online survey conducted early last month by the J. Walter Thompson ad agency (JWT), out of over 1000 respondents 44% of women said they owned a gaming console vs. 39% of men. These include owners of Wii, a platform known for broadening the gaming market across genders and generations.

There are definitely popular alternatives to the first-person shooters: you can improve your physical dexterity with say, “Dance Dance Revolution” or “Guitar Hero.” And for those who still prefer a good fight there is the intriguing strategy game A Force More Powerful. An interactive teaching tool developed by The International Center on Nonviolent Conflict, it “simulates nonviolent struggles … against dictators, occupiers, colonizers, and corrupt regimes, as well as campaigns for political and human rights for minorities and women.” Now that frankly sounds kick-ass enough for most men and women I know.

Online Videos by Veoh.com

Re. the pic at the top of the post: in a bid to corner the homebound nerd market, SuicideGirls reveals Halo hunk Master Chief to be… the lovely “Alaina.” (Thanks to BoingBoing Gadgets).

This is guest blogger Marco with the first in a series of posts here on Girl With Pen where I aim to examine cultural and media-enabled myths and expectations regarding men — our desires, peeves, habits and obsessions, such as they are. But first, a few words to explain my feature title, lest I be confused with those oily, sarcastic, Coors-and-testosterone-addled shlubs who haunt the comment threads over at Broadsheet.

No sarcasm is intended. I’ve adopted the “good sport” moniker as a kind of badge of honor ever since it was bestowed on me by Nona Willis-Aronowitz at dinner. To explain further: after Dee’s reading at New York’s KGB Bar recently, we went out for a chocolate dinner reward at the Bald Man (aka Max Brenner) with Lauren Sandler and Nona Willis-Aronowitz (but you knew that already if you read this post). I’m a big fan of Broadsheet (and of course Girl w/Pen) because I happen to enjoy listening to smart, funny, sassy women, whether the subject is “the patriarchy” or relationships— and there was a whole lot of talk on the latter at this particular venue. To be fair, we also touched on Nona’s upcoming road trip and Dee’s traveling WomenGirlsLadies panel; it all coalesced around talking up, rediscovering and re-mapping the American Woman between the coasts, between cities and between easy polarities.

There’s something cozily mesmerizing about following the Moebius loop of women talking about women talking; something also about the instant camaraderie of firing marshmallows over the table brazier and sharing dark chocolate fondue — probably the closest I’ve yet come to summer camp (not a typical option back in my ‘hood, back in the day). Anyhow, when Lauren’s husband and a buddy showed up it was suddenly three boys to three girls, and there was a palpable thump, like ballast shifting in the hold of a ship when it changes course. Nona sort of shook her head as if to clear it and smiled at me. “You’ve been a good sport for putting up with all the Sex-and-the-City stuff,” she said. I smiled back and shrugged. “Not at all. It was fun.” And it was. Now it was time for the men to high-five and reel out the batting averages… not. The new subject was Lauren and Justin’s cool digs in Williamsburg— midcentury modern or New York eclectic?

Domicile trumps locker room. Almost always OK by me.

My next post: lock and load—— Halo 3 hits the streets and guy-outlets like Spike TV go into frenzy mode. Meanwhile that study on guys, gals and first-person shooter games surfaces in The Economist, and makes Jezebel go “Hmmm…”

I’m sitting here in the hospital waiting room and got excited to learn this hospital has wireless. So now I can happily distract myself by catching up on blog reading. Check out the ever-clever Rebecca Traister on images of men in tv’s fall lineup. And to go with your reading, here’s a pic of Marco and Dad taken yesterday. Ok, even this girly girl has to admit it’s a darn cool truck.

Just heard via PunditMom that the bloggers over at sister sites DC Metro Moms, Silicon Valley Moms, and Chicago Moms all turned over the blog reins to the dads for a day. So the dads were blogging about the challenges as dads raising kids — and about the challenges of being the spouses of mommybloggers. Hehe.

Meanwhile, speaking of sperm, over at feministing, Courtney Martin offers some very wise musings on that book I mentioned here a few weeks ago cleverly titled Sperm Counts. Miss C and I had fun “writing” together today (meaning, parallel play on our respective projects between chats) and caught up on everything over our respective cookies. Man, I just love that girl.