blogging life

For a great mix of stories, personal essays, and conversations on topics related to women and alcohol, be sure to check out the blog www.drinkingdiaries.com.  Today’s column features an interview I recently completed with the blog’s editors.  Other recent posts include an excerpt from Mary Karr’s acclaimed new memoir;  a heartwrenching piece by Deirdre Sinnott about her past drinking exploits;  and many other revelations on the multiple meanings of drinking and alcohol in women’s lives.

One of the things I like most about blogging is that your subject can change as you do. This summer I’ve been blogging pregnancy, and now, with just a few weeks more to go, and to keep up with the changes going on here at GWP, I’m changing the theme to (drum roll) Mama w/Pen. From here on in, keep an eye out for monthly contributions from me on the topic of emergent motherhood, feminist and otherwise, on the first Monday of each month.

And speaking of becoming a mama, I just put an “away” message on my email, in preparation for The Big Event. In the meantime, you’ve not heard much from me this past month because I’ve been either in the hospital or on bedrest, spending much of my time lying on my side (best for babies’ circulation for some reason)—all of which makes it rather difficult to type on anything but an iPhone.

What started as a very cutting edge pregnancy—all those high-tech fertility interventions!—has ended up an anachronism. I now understand, in a very personal way, why pregnancy was once called “confinement,” or “lying in.” Hospitalized for early contractions at 30 weeks, I’ve spent the past 3.5 flat on my side, holed up with Marco, Tula (pictured here), my parents for a little while, and the occasional intrepid visitor from Manhattan and beyond. While Tula thinks bedrest is the cat’s meow, for me, it hasn’t been easy. Never in my life have I felt so limited by my body. I’m a a 21st century woman on a 19th century cure.

There are days when I think, “I can’t believe women, everyday, everywhere, go through this kind of thing, have gone through this, from the beginning of time.” Intelligent design? I think not. There are days when I’m in awe of my sisters who bear pregnancy gracefully, stoically, and without complication. Granted, some pregnancies are easier than others. For me, all attempts at grace and stoicism went out the window with those early contractions, which seem to only intensify as the weeks go by. My knees buckle from the weight of me. I have dark, dark circles under my eyes.

But I’m trying not to complain. Or rather, at least not in public, not out loud. I still can’t believe the technology worked. I’m still in awe that at ages 40 and 48, we’re lucky enough to become first time parents, and that we’re having not just one but two.

So rather than kvetch, which I confess is indeed my inclination right now, I’m trying instead to embrace the absurdity of it all while I bide my time and courageously hope not to give birth for a few weeks more—even though I’m more than ready to be done. Though it’s become increasingly hard to breath, there have been moments of buckling laughter. Like the night Marco wheeled me in a wheelchair with no leg support to the church down the block where Kol Nidre services were being held. Like the other day, when Marco walked me over to stand in front of the full-length mirror. “See? You’re still hot,” he said. “In a funhouse mirror kind of way.”

Funhouse aside, I feel like a character from a Margaret Atwood novel—an incubator and not much else. “Having children is sacrifice,” says Shari, one of the kind nurses I see regularly when I go to the hospital for my twice weekly monitoring appointments to check on the status of my contractions and the babies’ heart rates. “It starts right here, right now.” But what about the incubator? I want to ask, incredulous that becoming a mother has to involve such prolonged discomfort and pain. Instead, I hold my tongue, think of my roommate during my stay at the hospital, who gave birth to twin boys at 26 weeks, and feel immensely grateful to be here, with babies still inside me, at week 34.

Blogger and career guru (and newly married friend!) Marci Alboher just posted about my Recessionwire column, Love in the Time of Layoff, over at Yahoo’s Shine.  Her piece is titled “When Your Man or Woman Gets Laid Off.” Writes Marci (and oh how I heart her for so many reasons):

The column is so readable because it talks stuff few people are talking about. Like what happens to a heterosexual relationship when a woman suddenly becomes the sole breadwinner, what happens when someone who’s used to office culture suddenly gets used to the rhythms of home life, how two people (one of whom is pregnant with twins) can avoid driving each other batty when suddenly confined to a 650 square foot apartment.

Like any good serial narrative, Love in the Time of Layoffs had a major plot twist this month: Marco is back to work, albeit in a freelance gig. Questions abound for interested readers. Will he keep the job? Will the couple inch back into their former patterns again? What will happen once the babies arrive …..?

Good question.  Time (like, gulp, hopefully 4 more weeks) shall tell….!

A quick note about why it’s been so quiet over here this past week: We’ve been under construction…and I’ve been, um, on bedrest with early contractions but so far doing ok.  Please bear with us!  A host of new columns and new bloggers are coming SOON.  Here’s a sneak peak at just some of the brand new monthly columns coming down the pike:

Gender Specs (Leslie Heywood, Editor): the latest on gender analysis in evolutionary psychology and other sciences

Bedside Manners (Adina Nack, Editor): applying the sociological imagination to medical topics, with a special focus on sexual and reproductive health

Body Language (Alison Piepmeier, Editor): Because control of our bodies is central to feminism. (“It is very little to me to have the right to vote, to own property, etc., if I may not keep my body, and its uses, in my absolute right.” –Lucy Stone, 1855)

Global Mama (Heather Hewett, Editor: myths and realities of motherhood and family life in a globalized world

Mama w/Pen (Deborah Siegel, Editor): reflections on emergent motherhood, feminist and otherwise

Stay tuned!!

I am so heartened by the comments on my post from last week, “Blogging Pregnancy…or Not.” Thank you, from my heart. I just responded, in comments, more individually, but I wanted to give a group shout out from here too.

You seriously have made my day. It’s been a busy few days with SheWrites.com, but I’m planning on getting back here and writing more VERY soon!

In the meantime, look what I just made — you can make one too:

Visit She Writes

Oh how I wish I could have been there!

A report, for those of you who, like me, weren’t: “What Do Women Want: What I Learned at BlogHer”, at HuffPo. Some video and other links right here. I’m sure lots more coverage will ensue. Seen anything you want to share? Please post any links in comments!

I hear it’s going to be in NYC next year – whohoo

(Thanks, Rebekah and WMC, as always)

Do check out Lynn Harris’ commentary on the outburst(!) of edgy teen feminist blogs, like Julie Zellwiger’s TheFBomb. I’m quoted! And feeling old 🙂

Writer Rebekah Spicuglia recently guest blogged for The Man Files writing about the challenges of feminist parenting when sons start coming of age.