I launched the weekend by reading my first official parenting book: Amy Tiemann’s mojo-y book, Mojo Mom: Nurturing Your Self While Raising a Family (the new editiion!).  And I am so thankful to have started here.  Many of you are familiar with Amy’s message from reading her blog (Mojo Mom), but in all honesty, it didn’t really sink in for me of course until I got pregnant.  Now it’s all gotten very personal.  And what a relief that this book exists.

Chapter 1 begins: “It is tempting to romanticize miraculous transformations.”  The chapter’s epigraph reads: “Sometimes you just have to take a leap and build your wings on the way down.”  Still barfing at 13 weeks, I’m having a wee bit of a hard time when well-intentioned friends and loved ones say to me “this is such a special time! enjoy each moment!”  Because it’s hard to enjoy it all when you’re on the verge of 24/7 puke.  Believe me, I am overjoyed beyond belief that I am at this particular juncture; but overjoy and “enjoy” are not the same thing.

But I digress.  I really wanted to use this post to send a HUGE shout out to Amy for writing this book, and for writing a second edition of it, one which addresses more of the cultural conversation around motherhood.  I’d been feeling intimidated by all those books with light pink covers written about pregnancy and mothering and couldn’t bring myself to read anything other than The Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy, which Marco picked out for me early on.  Mojo Mom is helping me build confidence that I will find my own way into this whole pregnancy and motherhood gambit, that there are motherhood books written for women like me, and that there are fellow travelers out there–Amy did a PhD in neuroscience and is on the executive team of MomsRising.org (and a longtime supporter of Women for Women International)–to guide the way.

For some more hardcore political reading, definitely check out the opeds in today’s NYTimes on what to give mothers in the developing world, and the stats and links Kyla rounded up over at The REAL Deal (“Motherhood by the Numbers”).

And to all the moms out there, the moms-in-the-making, and the moms-in-waiting (I have a number of friends in this latter camp), and to my own extremely amazing mother, who I am becoming more and more grateful for every day, HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

I’m excited to help honor and celebrate 21 amazing women tonight at the Women’s eNews Benefit. And I love the way they are describing this group: Seven Who Seven Who Break the Barriers of Bias, Seven Who Stretch the Possible, and Seven Who Redraw the Boundaries. And each honoree has a superhero name too.

My dear friend and colleague Jacki Zehner is among the honorees.  She’s categorized as a Redrawer of Boundaries and identified as Investor in Female Futures. Also honored tonight are Guider of Girl Techies (Kathy Rodgveller), Flag-Bearer for Equal Pay (Lily Ledbetter), and Grower of Latina Power (Dusti Gurule).

What would your superhero name be?!

book I just hung up the phone with a new author who has a book project that I’m very excited about. I can’t tell you much about her project just yet—I’m trying to keep it on the down low for as long as possible—but I’ll say this: it kicks some serious bottom, and I can’t wait to work with her on it in the next handful of months.

I was telling her exactly this when she asked me The Question. “So,” she asked, “are you my editor?”

I don’t like this question. It makes me feel stuck somewhere between Kierkegaard’s Who am I?! and that PD Eastman book where the bird falls out of the tree and thinks the bulldozer is his mother.

I also don’t like the question because I tend not to handle the answering of it very well. I usually say something like, “Well, yes and no … ” Sometimes I say, “Well, no and yes …” Because that can be true, too.

Being a writer and all, I know my author can handle irony. But she didn’t seem too happy with me. So I did what I often do when I get asked The Question: I launched into an excessively detailed exegesis of the variations on Editor, and I’ll share it with you now so you never have to suffer the way my poor author did today.

As an author, you will likely have many editors. Some of them will edit your manuscript—that is, they will actually read what you have written and make suggestions for improvements to the language, pace, tone, and scope of your writing. Other editors will not edit your manuscript, but they will still be your editors.

The first editor an author meets is almost always the acquisitions editor. This is the person who is responsible for making a contractual offer for your project and negotiating the terms of the contract until it’s agreed upon by the publisher and the author. Some acquisitions editors only acquire, while others do other kinds of editing as well. Therefore, your acquisitions editor may or may not also be your …

Developmental editor. The developmental editor is the person who works with you to shape your project into a final and complete manuscript. A DE might make comments such as, “Have you ever thought about adding directions for a knitting project to the end of each chapter? Knitting is very in” or, “Chapter 12: more sex.” This is the most intensive/creative edit your book will get, though not all books even require a developmental edit. If yours does, your DE may or may not also be your …

Project editor. The project editor—also called your “in house” editor, or your shepherding editor, or your championing editor, or more often than anything else, generically “your editor”—may or may not actually do any editing of your book. She will, however, be the publisher’s point person for your project and, hopefully, an advocate for you and your book. She’ll discuss with you such things as cover design, deadlines, and your pub date, and she’ll convey any feedback the other staffers may have about your book (i.e., “Marketing says that Eat, Pray, Schlep isn’t really working for them as a title.”) Your project editor will likely oversee the descriptive copy that’s written about your book for publicity and catalog purposes to ensure it’s in line with what your manuscript will be delivering. Your project editor is most likely not also your …

Copyeditor. The copyeditor reads your manuscript and makes edits in accordance with such wonkiness as house style, grammar, and consistency. She may also ask you questions such as, “Re Charlotte Sometimes reference on page 233: Is this a reference to the time-travel YA novel by Penelope Farmer or the B side of The Cure’s Splintered in Her Head? Please clarify.” The copyeditors are actually the most underappreciated of the bunch—they are the unsung heroes of the editorial team, often a freelancer who polishes your manuscript until it shines and then disappears into the night. A tip: Ask your project editor if you can write a brief memo to the copyeditor before she begins her pass. That way you can flag any special words (“please stet spelling of golldangit”) or styles (“I prefer to refer to characters by a single capitalized letter and a long dash, as in ‘M—’, even though critics will likely find me affected for doing so. Please stet.”)

One more editor who will get her hands dirty on your book is the proofreader, who will review your book for accuracy after it’s been laid out. (Another tip: Ask your editor—you’ll know which one to ask when the time comes—if you can see the pages after the proofreader has taken her pass. Your editor may hate you for it, but it’s the only way you’ll see the absolutely final pages before they’re printed. She may say no—there often isn’t time for this extra step—but if you ask very, very nicely and promise to return with edits within, say, 24 hours, you might just get a yes.)

And now you know why The Question is so stressful. Why yes and no is accurate, as is no and yes. My recommendation: offer each so-called editor at your publisher a checklist and ask them to check all that apply.

Well, here we go.  I’ve decided today is the day to officially “come out”:  I’m pregnant!  I’m 12-and-a-half weeks along, and here’s the kicker: it’s twins.  OMG OMG Marco and I are still getting used to saying that out loud.  “It’s twins.”

That fertility stuff can really work.  I bow, with tremendous humility and gratitude, to the miracles of modern medicine.

It’s been strange sitting on this piece of rather all-encompassing information for the past three months and not sharing it with the world–or at least, I mean, with the GWP community.  So it’s a relief to say it.  I’m pregnant.  I really am.   We went for the first round of testing yesterday, and so far, all clear.  Two heartbeats, two fetuses of relatively same size, both swishing around and doing their thing.

I’ve been confused about whether to pregnancy blog or not, but, well, I just broke my own taboo.  So there you have it.  I’m preggers.  Overjoyed to the point of tears, feeling a little clueless, and nauseous as all hell.

Marco has been wonderful.  It’s been serendipitous, really, having him home while I’ve been feeling so physically bleh.  Today he went back to his freelance job for a few days, however, which is also quite nice, of course.  My Love in the Time of Layoff column is about to become Pregnant in the Time of Layoff.  I suppose my next column over there will have to be something about momentarily breadwinning wife expecting twins?!  (My Recessionwire contribution has gone from weekly to monthly, by the way, due to, shall we say, other demands…)

This month is a double hitter for me: I’ve got bits in the current issues of Ms. and Psychology Today.

The Spring 2009 issue of Ms.— just about to hit the newsstands if not already there– features an article I wrote on the history and funding of women’s studies programs for the special Ms. “2009 Guide to Women’s Studies.”  The first in a planned annual series, the guide—done in collaboration with the National Women’s Studies Association—provides details on 196 undergraduate and 47 post-graduate women’s studies programs, with data on additional undergraduate programs here and here.  Very cool tool for promoting women’s studies as a college major.  And the best part was that I had another reason to call up Mariam Chamberlain, founding president of the National Council for Research on Women, who was at the Ford Foundation when women’s studies began. Mariam–who just celebrated her 91st birthday, in great style–was responsible for funding women’s studies research from the get go, and for many reasons, I owe her a ton.

The June 2009 issue of Psychology Today has a bit not by me, but, well, about me.  Or rather, about Marco and me.  Seems we’re fast becoming the postercouple for laidoff men and breadwinning wives.  Ok, I know, I started it by writing about it at Recessionwire.  But we just said “no” to a very nice invitation to appear on one of the national morning shows, because we’re feeling a little reticent.  I mean, I’m all for going on tv to speak as “the expert,” but we’re starting to feel like a human interest story, and well, that’s just not in our interest, if you know what I mean.  (But thanks for the interest, morning show!  And I’m still happy to come on as an expert on gender and recession over there!)

The funniest part of it all, however, was that I had forgotten I’d done this interview and photoshoot for Psychology Today (magazine lead time is generally 3 months, so it took place in the winter).  I was reminded on the airplane, while sitting next to Courtney Martin on our way down to Atlanta last week.

I was reading (this is embarrassing) Star, and Courtney was reading Psychology Today.  I was just saying how fed up I was getting with Star (I’m a glutton for punishment) when Courtney shouted something like “Hey, it’s you!”  And there I was, photographed with Marco in a full page spread with a little blurb about our situation.

I think I shouted “Get! Out!” just as everyone got quiet for takeoff.  Ah well.

Seriously.  I kid thee not.  In the May 18th issue currently on the stands, two members of my writers group have features!

For an adaptation from a chapter of her forthcoming book, In Her Own Sweet Time: Unexpected Adventures in Finding Love, Commitment, and Motherhood (Basic, May 11), see “Why I Froze My Eggs” by our very own Rachel Lehmann-Haupt.

Four pages later comes “Listening to Madness” by our Alissa Quart–also part of chapter of a forthcoming book.  The article looks at “why some mentally ill patients are rejecting their medication and making the case for ‘mad pride'” and is, like Alissa, rather brilliant.

It’s been humbling and inspiring and instructive to be part of this writers group, which we affectionately call Matilda, after the cat who lives at the Algonquin Hotel where we first met.  Rachel’s book in particular has paralleled aspects of my life–as it will the lives of many of us living on, as she calls it, the edge of our fertility.

For more on In Her Own Sweet Time, which should be available in bookstores asap, check out this interview with Rachel over at YourTango.

I got lots more to say on the whole fertility front, but I leave that for another post…

I’m here setting up for my workshop, Blogging Demystified, with Courtney Martin, waiting for participants to walk in and testing the Interwebs. Looks like it works!

Meanwhile, here’s a pic from dinner last night. From left to right: Courtney, Jacki Zehner, Barbara Dobkin, Lynda Goldstein, and Chris Grumm.  What a group…!

More on all this when I return, I promise.  Off to start the show.

After weeks of anticipation, Girls Write Now will be featured TONIGHT (Tuesday, April 28)* on NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams reported by national correspondent Amy Robach.

NBC Nightly News airs daily at 6:30 PM Eastern/Pacific, 5:30 PM Central. Check out your state’s local listings.

Girls Write Now Day 2009 at The New School

I am SO late to posting this today, but here goes.  Today is (still!) Equal Pay Day.  And this morning, the National Women’s Law Center released some new state-by-state data on the wage gap.  Seems we’re doing a little better here in New York (where women make 82% of what men do) than in my homestate of Illinois (where women make 73%).  But it’s all really quite pathetic.  I mean, this is 2009, for christsake!  Didn’t we all think we’d be a little further along by now?  I mean, seriously, if you want to talk about ways to stimulate the economy, how bout investing in women by paying us what we’re worth!  Jeesh.

For more blogging, raging, ranting, and informative discourse on the subject, go here. For some particularly great posts, check out the one at The REAL Deal, by Kyla Bender-Baird and the one over at Gloria Feldt’s blog.

If you’re like me, after getting all fired up about this issue, you’re gonna want to take action.  You can write to your Senators in support of the Paycheck Fairness Act, by clicking here.

(And thanks to the National Women’s Law Center — and in particular Robin Reed — for spearheading Blog for Equal Pay Day!)

QuiverfullKathryn Joyce is a journalist and author of the new release Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement (Beacon Press). A graduate of both Hampshire College and New York University, her freelance writing has appeared in Newsweek, The Nation, Mother Jones, and many other publications. Joyce recently spoke to Girl with Pen about her research experiences, intersectional conflicts within the Quiverfull movement, and the public’s response to her groundbreaking new work:

What experiences in your journalism career prompted a deeper exploration of the Quiverfull patriarchal movement?

I first came across the Quiverfull movement while researching the anti-contraception movement among pro-life pharmacists claiming “conscientious objections” to dispensing birth control. I had been unaware of anti-abortion claims that birth control functions as abortion, and hadn’t known that opposition to contraception had become an important issue among Protestants and evangelicals in addition to traditional opponents among Catholic and LDS churches. Looking into some of the groups that were supportive of the pharmacists’ movement, though, I came across a surprisingly well-organized coalition of evangelical anti-contraception groups, some of whom were arguing that Christians should leave their family size and spacing in the hands of God. As I began to read a number of books that shaped the community and conviction, particularly early movement texts like Mary Pride’s The Way Home: Beyond Feminism, Back to Reality, and Rick and Jan Hess’ Full Quiver: Family Planning and the Lordship of Christ, I began to see a vehement anti-feminism and another, startling motivation for large Christian families as well, as the Quiverfull authors told readers that by having very large families, and teaching their children to do the same, they could win the culture wars through numbers alone.

The oppositions between feminism and Quiverfull Christianity are rooted in the patriarchal traditions of this sect. In your research, did you find any subversive femininst actions taken by former or current Quiverfull followers?

Quiverfull is not a sect of Christianity, but a grassroots movement that spans numerous denominations and church traditions.

That said, there is certainly a feminist subversiveness among women who have left the movement, such as Cheryl Lindsey Seelhoff, Vyckie Garrison and Laura Sutton, as well as other evangelical women who did not follow the Quiverfull conviction but did faithfully believe in the patriarchy doctrines they were taught in their churches. A number of women taught to follow these beliefs have responded by either leaving the faith and conviction entirely, or by attempting to reshape the teachings to fight abuse. However, I think the common thread of all the women I’ve spoken to who contended with these issues is the overwhelming pressure against their leaving these communities, and the financial, emotional and spiritual obstacles they have to overcome in order to do so.

My working title for Quiverfull was “Trust and Obey,” the name of an 1800s Presbyterian hymn that is frequently referenced by Quiverfull supporters as the foundation for their role in life. It reads: “Trust and Obey, for there’s no other way/ to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey.” The sentiment of the hymn really sums up the role of faith and obedience, or submission, in this movement—that, beyond the demographic dreams of leaders with a vision of thousands of Christian children taking over the country, this movement tells women they must have a faith strong enough to have children they may not necessarily be able to provide for, but to trust instead that God will take care of them if they are obedient to the authorities “he’s placed over them.” It’s a deceptively simple challenge to any woman who is having second thoughts about giving up so much self-determination.

How would you describe the demographics of the Quiverfull movement? In what ways are Quiverfull Christians defined by gender, race, class, and other forms of social and personal privilege?

Quiverfull is largely white, but not entirely so. There are families of color within the movement, as well as prominent biracial couples. I think there are racial undertones to a number of aspects of the movement, particularly its preoccupation with demography and population, and leaders utilizing falling fertility in European countries as a warning that countries that embrace family planning end up “invaded” by hordes of immigrants. Similarly, there are questionable ties between some movement leaders and far-right fringe groups that embrace neo-Confederate notions about slavery and race or immigration. Additionally, one movement author, Charles Provan, author of The Bible and Birth Control, was also notably a Holocaust revisionist. And a very popular author and women’s leader, Nancy Campbell, author of Be Fruitful and Multiply and publisher of the long-running Above Rubies magazine, frequently makes a pitch for large families in order to out-breed Muslims. I don’t think that all Quiverfull people are motivated by racist thinking whatsoever, or even that there’s more racism within the movement than in American culture at large, but I do think that there are troubling undertones to a lot of the messages that the leadership of the movement advances, and the way in which they seem to appeal to people’s racial or immigration fears or biases as a third motivation for having large families beyond obedience to God and the idea of Christian dominion through numbers.

In terms of gender, however, there is absolutely no pretense at equality between the sexes except, as many leaders are fond of repeating, equality under God. Men and women are equal in the eyes of God, they say, but have different roles here on earth. What that translates to in reality is a system of often strict male headship and female submissiveness, where Christian women are never supposed to be out from under the “protective covering” of a male authority any time in their life. Founders of the movement, including Mary Pride, made it clear that the ultimate target of the movement was feministic ideas of equality, and that in order to be good Christian wives, women had to subordinate themselves to their husbands as army privates submit to officers, so that a well-organized Christian army stands a better chance of winning. Other teachers of “biblical womanhood” – the total lifestyle patriarchy advocates promote as an antidote to feminism – include rising early to feed the family, being available anytime to satisfy a husband’s desires (barring a few “ungodly” or “homosexual” acts), seeking his approval regarding work, appearance, and leisure, and accepting that he has the “burden” of final say in arguments. After a wife has respectfully appealed her spouse’s decision — a privilege she should not abuse — she must accept his final answer as “God’s will for her at that time.”

How have the families you interviewed for this book responded to its publication?

I haven’t heard from all of the families I’ve spoken with. Those who have contacted me have generally found the book fair and respectful, although they of course disagree with the position I’m coming from. That’s been the reaction of a lot of reviewers, from Bitch magazine to Christianity Today. And I’ve heard from more women who have left Quiverfull or patriarchal churches, and they’ve remarked that they were surprised a secular outsider could understand the movement so well.

Although I haven’t heard from many critics yet, I think that one response that both I and exited Quiverfull women have heard a lot is that to have a negative experience of this lifestyle means that the woman or her family weren’t “doing it right,” or weren’t following the conviction with the right Christian spirit, but with a “legalistic” spirit concerned more with rules than with following Jesus. While I understand where this response comes from, I have to disagree. While apologists for Quiverfull or patriarchy teachings say that both can be wonderful things if practiced with the correct Christian heart and motivations – with an eye towards glorifying God, and not being mired in “legalistic” rules – in my observation, many, many women described beginning to follow the conviction out of a sense of faith, and very soon found that the lifestyle was one of hard and fast rules, and unforgiving standards that few women could keep up with.

Does the Quiverfull movement have a future? Do you feel that changes in American politics or the economy will impact the success of this growing movement?

I think of Quiverfull as a purist vanguard of the antiabortion and anti-contraception movements. I think there has certainly been a growth in the visibility of very large families following these convictions and lifestyles, but I don’t imagine that huge swaths of the country will begin having 18 children next year. Instead, however, I think they will continue to exist and grow as an ideal of the Christian right family: institutionalized already in the “Natural Family Manifesto” that’s promoted by the World Congress of Families: an interdenominational coalition of religious right groups that includes almost every major religious right political organization in the country. They explicitly endorse women having a “full quiver” of children, and have taken their message to Europe, where they tell countries with declining fertility to fight it (and immigration) by encouraging every woman to have 3-4 children each. Likewise, major denominations such as the Southern Baptist Convention, which has 16 million members, have begun making sympathetic statements in recent years (to complement their existing “complementarian” stance on wifely submission), saying that deliberate childlessness among Christians is moral rebellion against God. So I think they will have a trickle-down influence on religious right standards in that way, and will serve as inspiration to the anti-contraception groups that are trying to promote anti-birth control policy.