In January, tragedy struck the Los Angeles suburb of Manhattan Beach.
Investigators believe that 24-year-old Michael Nolin killed his girlfriend, 22-year-old Danielle Hagbery, because Hagbery was breaking up with him. Apparently, Nolin then committed suicide.
This murder-suicide story is tragic all the way around. We hear about situations like this all the time. But while the details of this case might still be fuzzy, one thing is for sure: The report published in The Daily Breeze perpetuates the worst of victim-blaming and misguidedly frames the issues.
The story headline reads:
Police believe romantic break-up fueled Manhattan Beach killings.
But romance and break-ups don’t cause murder. Violence and aggression do. Let’s revise and edit, shall we?
An accurate story headline would read:
Police believe violent aggression fueled Manhattan Beach killings.
But the problem doesn’t end with the headline. The article quotes Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department’s Lt. Dan Rosenberg who provides so-called tips to women on preventing their own assault.
I would insert a snarky “yawn†if the issue wasn’t so absolutely critical!
Daily Breeze reporters Larry Altman and Andrea Woodhouse quote Los Angeles Sheriff Department’s Lt. Dan Rosenberg as saying:
“Danielle Hagbery’s death should serve as a warning to other young women that they need to look out for themselves — such as not going to the boyfriend’s home — when a relationship goes sour.
“This is one more tragic end of a dating relationship where these young women should be aware of it,” Rosenberg said. “Ladies need to be vigilant when things go sideways with boyfriends.”
Seriously. Really?
I’m willing to accept that Lt. Rosenberg was well-intentioned but seriously misguided. And, if so, then Altman and Woodhouse are complicit in their equally misguided decision to include these “tips” in their article.
Badly informed comments such as Rosenberg’s perpetuate a serious problem: Blaming the victim for her own death. This profoundly shifts the attention from the real issue. Presuming it’s true that boyfriend Michael Nolin killed Hagbery before turning a gun on himself, the warning must not be directed toward victims.
Ladies don’t need to be vigilant. Murderers need to not kill.
If this was in fact an instance of “one more tragic end of a dating relationship,†then men need to be aware of their own potential for violence and prevent it from happening. The best way to end violence is for the violent person to stop. Prevention is the real solution.
On February 1, 2010 I sent a letter of concern to eight Daily Breeze editors and reporters, and to the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department. This letter called out the newspaper and the sheriff for what violence-prevention educator Jackson Katz calls linguistic shape shifting, where language obscures men’s responsibility for violence.
The letter of concern includes signatures from authors, professors, public speakers, advocates, and community activists, experts across the country who work in preventing gender-based violence and sexual assault.
The letter concludes by offering support: “There are plenty of community-based resources and educational materials on the subject of preventing male violence against women. Please do not hesitate to be in touch if you would like to avail yourself to our services and resources.â€
To date, not one of the individuals or agencies receiving this letter have replied. The silence is deafening.
Comments 11
Bob Lamm — February 5, 2010
This is a wonderful, distressing piece, Shira. Alas, it could be written again and again all across our country. What you have noted and protested is standard behavior both for police and for the media.
It's great that you wrote to all these reporters and editors at the Daily Breeze and to the L.A. Sheriff's Department. It's horrible--but, alas, not surprising--that no one has responded. But let's hope that at least a few of them have heard you and will approach these situations a little differently in the future.
Monique Meza — February 5, 2010
Dr. Tarrant you are an amazing woman and offer so much knowlegde. I'm glad you have the common sense to notice when news articles or anything that happens in the world is unjust and just plain wrong. You make me think and you make others think and for that I thank you. I only hope to be half as talented as you are. Great job on pointing out the objectification of the victim. YOU ROCK!!!!
Claire Garrido-Ortega — February 5, 2010
Hi Shira,
The Women's Resource Center will be conducting a workshop on Wednesday, February 10, 1-2pm in LA3-105. Event: Violence Awareness -- Acknowledging HSC student, Danielle Hagbery.
Thanks,
Claire Garrido-Ortega
Women's, Gender and Sexuality Studies
Health Science Department
CSULB
gwp_admin — February 5, 2010
To Bob, Monique, and Claire — Thanks for reading, for commenting and for getting the issues.
Ben Atherton-Zeman — February 6, 2010
I agree with Ms. Meza: you rock. My wish is that every time someone blames the victim the way these folks did, there will be someone like Dr. Tarrant, or Ms. Meza, or me to write something as articulate as your posting and your letter. It would hasten the day when such responses are no longer needed, because this doesn't happen any more.
Jillian Lauren — February 6, 2010
I'm so used to that kind of language that I don't even notice it. That's going to change now, thanks to you bringing my attention to this "linguistic shapeshifting." Please keep writing and speaking about this subject!
Kristen Norton — February 6, 2010
Outstanding, Shirra! We met at Masculinites Week at Occidental. I was the one with the 'BEAUTIFUL just the way you are posters'. This is so important. I showed my Developmental Psych. students 'Tough Guise' this week, and followed that up by asking them if there are any other crimes where the victims get blamed like rape victims so often are--I see I need to expand that to include victims of other types of male violence. I then acted out a scenario with a male student, having him pretend to run into the police station to report being robbed at knifepoint. I grilled him in the manner that a rape victim might be...It was really eye-opening for the students. 'Can you PROVE you were robbed??' 'What were you doing out alone on that dark street?' 'Don't you know that's dangerous?' etc., etc., etc. (I just signed on for an email subscription to this blog. I saw this post on Facebook, via Tom Keith's comment.)
Adina — February 8, 2010
Excellent analysis! I hope you hear back soon from one of those individuals or agencies who received your letter. I just read some of the 97 comments posted at the bottom of this Daily Breeze article -- clearly our society needs more education about these topics. Shira, thanks for an important post.
Torrance resident — February 9, 2010
While I agree with your premise that 100% of the fault lies with the aggressor boyfriend in this tragic case, "Ladies don’t need to be vigilant. Murderers need to not kill." is stupid advice.
Man or woman, you have to look out for the signals that someone is a threat to you, evaluate that threat and take action. Vigilance is critically important is avoiding these sort of situations, whether at work, at home, on a plane or elsewhere. It's like claiming we don't all have to watch out for underwear bombers or their ilk, because terrorists need not terrorize. Sure, that would be swell, but it's not reality.
Bob Pleasants — February 9, 2010
Unfortunately, this kind of victim-blaming reporting is all too common. Another example: in October 2009, the Raleigh, NC News and Observer published the following article about a domestic violence murder:
http://www.newsobserver.com/news/crime_safety/story/132899.html
The article begins with "A mother who was shot to death outside her children's day-care center this week missed chances during the months before her death to protect herself from an abusive boyfriend, court records show" and ends with the incredibly irrelevant fact that "Court records also show that in 2000, Street [the victim] requested another domestic violence protective order, that one against a different man." The article was a point-by-point chronicle of all the victim's alleged "missed chances" at preventing her own murder, as if her boyfriend's controlling behavior and sense of entitlement had nothing to do with it.
I had a long, frustrating, but ultimately productive email exchange with the new editor. I encourage everyone to do contact your newspaper when you see this kind of article. We can make a change!
Lor M — December 21, 2013
Thank you for this apt analysis and for sending your letter of concern to the Daily Breeze and to the Los Angeles Sheriff's Department. It is unfortunate that you received no response, especially since you offered them many resources to enlighten their perspective on this issue. As a survivor of recent domestic violence it pains and angers me how often society, and particularly those in law enforcement, who are supposedly there to help and protect survivors of domestic violence, instead re-victimize them by placing the blame upon them. Miss Hagbery's alleged lack of vigilance and ending the relationship did not cause her death. Her ex-boyfriend's murderous actions did. Period. Yes, of course there are steps that we can take to try to prevent and minimize violence but it is NEVER a victim's fault when someone chooses to abuse them.