The first gay marriages in Connecticut were performed yesterday. This and the abortion battlegrounds that came out pro-choice are the good news in the recent so-called culture wars. But extremely disheartening news came out of November 4th as California’s anti-gay-marriage and anti-gay-rights Proposition 8 and a law in Arkansas banning people cohabiting outside of marriage from adopting or acting as foster parents were passed.

As one of my favorites, Dan Savage, writes in the New York Times this week, these anti-gay laws are distinctly anti-family:

That state’s Proposed Initiative Act No. 1, approved by nearly 57 percent of voters last week, bans people who are “cohabitating outside a valid marriage” from serving as foster parents or adopting children. While the measure bans both gay and straight members of cohabitating couples as foster or adoptive parents, the Arkansas Family Council wrote it expressly to thwart “the gay agenda.” Right now, there are 3,700 other children across Arkansas in state custody; 1,000 of them are available for adoption. The overwhelming majority of these children have been abused, neglected or abandoned by their heterosexual parents.

Even before the law passed, the state estimated that it had only about a quarter of the foster parents it needed. Beginning on Jan. 1, a grandmother in Arkansas cohabitating with her opposite-sex partner because marrying might reduce their pension benefits is barred from taking in her own grandchild; a gay man living with his male partner cannot adopt his deceased sister’s children.

Activists for gay rights are now organizing protests at Mormon Churches, which provided much of the funding for Proposition 8’s campaign, and are boycotting those businesses and some individuals who financially supported Prop 8. Just recently, Scott Eckern, the artistic director of California Musical Theater, resigned from his position after coming under fire. Marc Shaiman, Tony-award winning composer for Hairspray, was one of those who said he would no longer allow his work to be performed at Eckern’s theater.

Eckern has expressed surprise and claims that he is “deeply saddened that my personal beliefs and convictions have offended others.” But why should he be surprised and why should he paint his convictions as merely “personal”? He contributed money to a political campaign whose aim it was to interfere in the personal lives of his fellow citizens and many colleagues. Why should he be surprised that some of these colleagues themselves took it personally that he helped mandate the ways in which they are, and are not, allowed to recognize their love for their partners?

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