Family members know very well how positive it is for our children to have real friends, those who always will support them and especially in the most difficult moments of their lives. Nevertheless, scientific research is being published in top scientific journals about the concrete contributions the reading and dialogue about the book “Creative Friendships” is doing to the well-being of children. The most important result is the promotion of the motivation and capacity of children to select and take care of the best friends. This is also the main source of the development of their dimensions of beauty, goodness, truth and freedom.
The book is scientific but it is written in a narrative that catches the attention of children since they are eight years old and of adults. It is the result of a PhD thesis followed by eight more years of research by two university professors in Education who have a lot of practical experience working with children from zero to eighteen years old, besides being mothers. Much of the scientific research in many areas is focused on successful cases and their replicability in diverse contexts and individuals. This book analyzes a successful case of one individual with wonderful friendships from his birth until his sixties.
One scientific article explained some of the testimonies made by children who have read and dialogued about this book:
I’ll tell you things from the book but also things I’ve thought . . . I mean . . . that while reading the book I have also thought many things of my own, you know? Things that are not in the book, that the book has made me remember and think, things of mine … But that have to do with the book . . . Do you understand? [Luca, eight years old]
Ramón since he was a child learned to decide well, looking for the reasons for things, that means that he has spent more years than the rest knowing how to decide . . . [Pau, thirteen years old]
Readers of “Creative Friendships” talk and think a lot about how important it has been for the character of the book to decide freely without submitting himself to the dominant discourses of each moment. When he was fourteen years old (1966) all his peers smoked and pressed him to do the same. Most of them recognized they did not like when they smoked the first cigarette but they did because they considered it to be a manly thing and something necessary to be successful with girls.
He did not want to do something that was not pleasant and there was already evidence that it was detrimental for health. Besides he said to his colleagues that he did not need to smoke to feel a man and to have success with girls. Now, being seventy, he has much better health than his peers and sadly several of them have already died. Reading and commenting this, children understand not mainly the importance of not smoking, but the importance of taking freely the best decisions without accepting any pressure of the peers. Diverse anecdotes of the narration clarify how that would have been impossible without having real friends supporting him and understanding that they had different positions. But the most relevant thing is the narrative’s clarification that he had those extraordinary friendships precisely because of being secure not submitting himself to their preferences. In the opposite way to the dominant discourse making most children think that they will have no friends if they do not accept the impositions, the reading and dialogue about this book clarify that this is the best path to have many, diverse and real friends.
The narration is plenty of tales inspiring children for the self-betterment of their relations and their lives. For instance, how he was always active against any kind of bullying, which ensured that he never suffered it and always helped his colleagues to overcome those situations. Children readers become very conscious that not accepting any kind of disdainful attitudes towards them, they will be all their lives free, happy and with excellent family, friends and affective relations, besides developing their leadership in their professional lives. In fact, being now seventy, the character of the book is now the director of the European report entitled “Achieving student well-being for all: Educational contexts free of violence”. He has friends from when he was seven years old and they have weekly relations. Some of them are also leaders in different professional areas including medicine, companies, engineering and culture.
Some people think that they need to choose between prioritizing the instrumental learning of children or their well-being. Almost each page of the book includes a different anecdote and a different evidence about why it is important to substitute this “or” by “and”. There is no evidence at all that being good in mathematics does not mean to not have well-being and that to have well-being does not mean to be bad in mathematics. On the contrary, the well-being is much better when it includes to be good also in instrumental learning of all subjects and, at the same time, to be good in instrumental learning fosters the well-being. So, the priority is to have well-being and to be good in all subjects, one fosters the other. The book includes and motivates children towards languages, physics, music, literature, mathematics and all the other dimensions of their lives.
Marta Soler, Former President of the European Sociological Association. Twitter: @MartaSolerUB
Ane Lopez de Aguileta, PhD candidate at the University of Barcelona. Twitter: @AneLdaEng