This video of a parent unloading a clip in his daughter’s laptop in response to an angry post has gone viral and judging by the comments (on Facebook ironically enough) the video has touched a nerve.
This performance highlights a nagging sense among many parents that we have lost our way as a culture (and that social media is somehow responsible). It in essence is tapping into a fantasy we have as parents that if we just practiced “tough love” and didn’t “spare the rod,” all would be fine. Our children wouldn’t use Facebook and we would have proper, obedient, technology free children. But the reality is that “tough love” won’t stop teens from wanting to have a separate space from parents. I agree with the general sentiment many of the commenters posted regarding setting boundaries, but shooting a laptop isn’t teaching a lesson, it’s venting. In my view, discipline has to come from a position of detached, dispassionate calm. If discipline comes from anger, its hard to separate out what is in the best interest of your child and what’s just you “blowing off steam.” If you watch this video, you can’t help but be struck by how much “venting” is going on as he is shooting his daughter’s laptop. I’ve been angry like that before… there’s a lot of pain and disappointment underneath the bravado.
The main problem is that Facebook creates a “separate space” from parents where their content is recorded for posterity. If the daughter could have vented without a digital transcript, the parent’s would have been none the wiser and the world would have been spared an ugly viral video. This is the challenging and frustrating thing about our age — we’re not changing our core emotional make-ups, we’re losing discretion and discernment as to when we should express emotions.
Comments 6
Joyce — February 14, 2012
I agree with what you are saying, but I disagree with a couple of terms: "detached, dispassionate calm". If a parent loves a child then the discipline is never detached and never dispassionate. If a parent was detached and dispassionate then there is no love. Calm? Absolutely! Detached? Never.
jose — February 14, 2012
Hi Joyce,
Thanks for the post. I suppose I mean "stepping back" from your anger rather than acting from it. I don't mean not caring about your child, of course :-)
winter — February 16, 2012
the father's "cut the krap" and "come to god" message hits home with most of us, whether a parent, a sibling, a co-worker, a friend, a neighbor.
too many grow into disrespectful and ugly beings.
most likely many of us would have liked to publicly proclaim our frustration and disdain for the 'selfish daughter' in our own life but never would. therefore, the father's response does indeed satisfy many.
would have rather witnessed a hammer on the laptop rather than a gun -- that was the one element of his public proclamation that was disturbing.
Jesse — February 21, 2012
Hilarious parody "FACEBOOK PARENTING: FOR THE DATING TEEN" Super funny!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6BwvLUrXT4
jose — February 21, 2012
Jesse...that was hilarious. Thanks for sharing it!!!
mot de passe facebook perdu — October 20, 2013
Merci pour cet article il est vrai que un grand connaisseur en la matière mais ton sujet ma donné envie d'en apprendre plus . Il est rare de voir un article écrit sans faute . Je vais poursuivre ma navigation sur votre blog. En espérant pouvoir vous relire , bonne continuation pour la suite. Amicalement.