An 11-year-old English schoolboy recently returned to school after summer holiday as a 12-year-old schoolgirl.  Unable to undergo surgery or horomone therapy until age 18, his parents instead changed his name and dressed him in a dress and pigtails.  The child’s classmates were reportedly “confused and tearful,” and the teachers held an emergency assembly in which they told the entire school to henceforth treat the child as a girl.  Parents were most upset (at least, publicly) at the fact that this gender bomb was dropped on them without warning and some lead-in time  to discuss the issue with their own children. 

I had just started thinking over the implications of that incident when it apparently happened again – this time, with a 9-year-old child (some parents just won’t be outdone).  This is one of those rare cases (ha!) where I don’t know exactly where my opinion lies before I begin writing.  On the one hand, I am of the belief that gender identity is not a choice, and would support my son or daughter if they came to realize they identified with the dystonic gender.  On the other hand, this is a pretty adult decision for a child to be making, and without knowing the family personally, I begin to wonder how much of this is a hurting and adamant child and how much is the parent (speaking of hurting children, both gender-switched youths are now apparently now suffering from – prepare to be unsurprised – being horrendously bullied and jeered at).

While overeducated louts such as myself wander around ruminating ponderously over the issue as though it were complex or something, less tentative folks have already started chiming in on the message boards:

“Our society is sick to allow this to happen. I suppose we can’t say anything for fear of not being ‘politically correct’. ”

“There are proably very few experts in this field when it comes to children i just hope the very best were available not some local pc correct psuedo experts.”

Nitpicky English language-related errors aside, I note the citation of political correctness as the reason why no one is apparently in an uproar over the actual gender-changing portion of our story (remember, parents were ostensibly upset because they weren’t given sufficient time to discuss it with their kids)… what do you think?

Is twelve old enough to know that you would rather be a woman for the rest of your life than a man? (my personal answer, is yeah, probably.  But this might be the least controversial part of this).

Is nine old enough?

What would you do if it were YOUR child?

In what way do you think the second incident might be related to the first?  (it might be similar to the way rape victims sometimes come forward in pairs – the first paves the way for the second, comfort-wise.  My colleague sees it more like a spreading virus).

Did these parents handle the situation poorly by not giving the rest of the school enough time to work out the complexities of the issue with their children?

As a psychologist, I realize I’m supposed to have some deep insights into this topic rather than more questions.  But firstly, I’m not that kind of psychologist.  And anyway, I’m not always (or ever, for that matter) particularly insightful.  With issues like this, I’m almost mistrustful of anyone who shows up with all the right answers immediately.  But don’t let me deter you if you’ve got ’em!