I recently wrote a quite popular post, titled “What Do Women Want?”, based on data collected by the dating site OK Cupid (short story: women like it when men engage with their personality, not just their looks). Mary S. sent in a link to some of their data on race and response rate, with some fascinating findings.
First, OK Cupid measured the compatibility of people of different races. They found that, by and large, race doesn’t impact compatibility scores:
Then they looked at response rates. When a man writes an inquiry email to a woman, what is the chance that that woman will write back? Here is the data:
What this table shows is that race matters. OK Cupid breaks it down:
Black women… are by far the most likely to reply to your first message. In many cases, their response rate is one and a half times the average, and overall black women reply about a quarter more often.
…white males just get more replies from almost every group.
White women prefer white men to the exclusion of everyone else—and Asian and Hispanic women prefer them even more exclusively. These three types of women only respond well to white men. More significantly, these groups’ reply rates to non-whites is terrible. Asian women write back non-white males at 21.9%, Hispanic women at 22.9%, and white women at 23.0%. It’s here where things get interesting, for white women in particular. If you look at the match-by-race table before this one, the “should-look-like” one, you see that white women have an above-average compatibility with almost every group. Yet they only reply well to guys who look like them.
And how do men respond to women?
OK Cupid again:
Men don’t write black women back. Or rather, they write them back far less often than they should. Black women reply the most, yet get by far the fewest replies. Essentially every race—including other blacks—singles them out for the cold shoulder.
White guys are shitty, but fairly even-handed about it. The average reply rate of non-white males is 48.1%, while white guys’ is only 40.5%. Basically, they write back about 20% less often.
To sum, white men appear to have the most dating capital in the online dating world, while black women seem to have the least. This means that white men can sit back and enjoy the adulation, while black women are required to do more outreach to men to get the same results.
This makes sense give the way in which race is gendered.
For more, read Restaurant Refugee’s experiment comparing responses on OK Cupid to an identical profile with pictures of a white person and a person of color.
UPDATE: Duran2, Dave, and Assaf critiqued my comment about white men sitting back and enjoying the adulation as both inaccurate and unfair. Point taken. I apologize.
For more, see our posts on asymmetry in interracial marriage and how Asian women are marketed to white men.
—————————
Lisa Wade is a professor of sociology at Occidental College. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook.
Comments 57
Keeley — October 27, 2009
I'm a little surprised by the way OkCupid has done these studies. I'm actually a member, and the fact that all of the informaiton (at least what you've posted here) assumes heterosexual contacts only is odd to me. If there's any data available on gay and lesbian response rates, I'd like to see them.
ben — October 27, 2009
@kelley - they control for people's stated sexual orientation. What amazes me even more is since that OKCupid has a rate-my-pic feature, they can also control for physical attractiveness. They might not have done non-heterosexual response rates because since there are fewer of them on the site, there's not enough data for a statistically significant result.
Duran2 — October 27, 2009
I was going to bite my tongue regarding the way histrionic language in this post, but then I saw this gem:
>> This means that white men can sit back and enjoy the adulation,
What part of suffering a 29% reply rate is "sitting back and enjoying the adulation"?
From your own charts, it would appear that women, drawing an average reply rate in the mid 40%'s, are doing far more of "sitting back and enjoying the adulation".
Sometimes your own bias clouds your eyes. It was an interesting post, but you had to go and ruin it with your anti-male, anti-white bias.
Dave — October 27, 2009
"This means that white men can sit back and enjoy the adulation, while black women are required to do more outreach to men to get the same results."
It's a fascinating study with some interesting conclusions, and I don't have any difficulty accepting the - admittedly sometimes awkward - truth of the apparent findings, but I think to suggest that anyone using a dating website 'can sit back and enjoy the adulation' is perhaps overstating the quality of their love life a little!
:-)
sarah — October 28, 2009
I like the way Okcupid presented it also. Calling Black women 'sweethearts' and white men 'shitty' (lightheartedly) was amusing and a contrast to the trainweck of the following comments on their blog.
Assaf — October 28, 2009
I don't think that's a fair interpretation of the study.
First of all - White males are just just barely below average on reply rate (40.5 to 42) - I don't think that warrants calling them shitty.
In fact white males get lower reply rates than the vaunted black female category (29.2 to 34.3). That's far from "enjoying the adulation"...
It's an interesting study, but you wrote the conclusions before you saw the data...
Farfleoogen — October 28, 2009
I think it's interesting that white men respond disproportionately to Middle Eastern and Pacific Islander women. Exoticism, anyone?
Jay Livingston — October 29, 2009
Farfleoogen: Middle Eastern women get high numbers all the way across. I wonder how large the N is. If it's small, the results can be skewed by a very few who, for some reason, come across as very attractive. The white male response to Pacific Islander females is only 2 points above their average (44 vs. 42), and all the other races except Indian have higher rates of response to Pacific Islander females. As with the Middle Eastern category, sample size may be a problem. I wish Cupid had provided these.
korshi — October 29, 2009
They have same-sex results here:
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/same-sex-data-race-reply/
The racial biases are roughly the same, but a bit less pronounced.
Andrew — October 29, 2009
"To sum, white men appear to have the most dating capital in the online dating world, while black women seem to have the least. "
Um...according to what? Not that they really prove anything, but if you're going by these charts, it would appear that Middle Eastern and Pacific Islander females (49.5% and 46% mean reply rate, respectively) have substantially more "dating capital" than males of any hue (27.6%). And White men (29.2%) have only a slight edge over Native American men (27.8%). You could stand to be a little more observant when you put that Ph.D. next to your name.
It is interesting, though, to see how much these figures DON'T line up with some common stereotypes about ethnic prejudices and conflicts. If you have Hindu/Muslim tensions in mind, for example, you might be surprised that Indians and Middle Easterners aren't particularly less likely than average to respond to each other. And if you're thinking about notions of tribalism among ethnic groups (i.e. the cliches of minority parents urging their young to marry within the culture) you might be surprised at how little impact it seems to make here. I can see this launching an interesting inquiry into whether people might be less race-(or status-)conscious in the privacy of their own internet than when dating among their peers.
In short - thanks for posting these really interesting charts, but maybe try reading the data before assessing it!
Louche — October 30, 2009
I think that the interpretations of these charts are very simplistic and isolated. There are so many factors you fail to take into account. For example, the fact that it is more acceptable in our culture for men to make first contact with women than vice versa and the possibility that far more women than men use dating websites ("eHarmony has an uneven Male to Female ratio of 38% to 62%."). Or the fact that Pacific Islanders may be highly fetishized (just think of the sex slave trade). And some things I cannot explain, such as the high response rate to Middle Easterner females, who I would expect to face a lot of discrimination from people in the West.
Did anyone else notice the bizarrely low levels of same-race response in some cases? The lowest response by black males was to black females, and the lowest response by black females was to black males. Could it be that people who use dating websites are more likely to be dissatisfied with people of their own culture or race? White females received lowest number of responses from white males. And of course white men are going to respond less if they're getting more hits.
Daily Digest: 2009-10-29 « The Mushkush Digest — October 30, 2009
[...] Images (again!) has a fascinating but depressing post on race and dating websites that reinforces evidence about the cultural prejudices about race. [...]
olivia — October 30, 2009
If anyone is interested in reading a legit research study on this topic, read this: http://www.asian-nation.org/docs/online-dating-study.pdf
collegedating — November 11, 2009
Great article,This site provides very useful tips,online dating is useful to everyone.Thanks for the greatreading, college dating website .I will pass this on to our Ira clients to read.
What ails Black women 3: Discrimination and repercussions « Family Inequality — November 24, 2009
[...] dating world, where the playing field could be more level, Black women get the worst results. We recently saw the reply rates for different groups of women on the OK Cupid dating site. Despite roughly equal [...]
Philip N. Cohen: What Ails Black Women, Part 3: Discrimination and Repercussions : Giant Link List — December 1, 2009
[...] dating world, where the playing field could be more level, Black women get the worst results. We recently saw the reply rates for different groups of women on the OK Cupid dating site. Despite roughly equal [...]
Philip N. Cohen: What Ails Black Women, Part 3: Discrimination and Repercussions | News from: The Huffington Post - Breaking News and Opinion — December 1, 2009
[...] dating world, where the playing field could be more level, Black women get the worst results. We recently saw the reply rates for different groups of women on the OK Cupid dating site. Despite roughly equal [...]
OK Cupid Data on Sex, Desirability, and Age » Sociological Images — February 22, 2010
[...] from OK Cupid: the racial politics of dating and what women want. var addthis_language = 'en'; Leave a Comment Tags: age/aging, [...]
So There You Have It: Older Women Want More Sex » Sociological Images — February 25, 2010
[...] from OK Cupid: the racial politics of dating, what women want, and men’s preference for younger women. var addthis_language = 'en'; [...]
Aaron Smith — May 25, 2010
Hi,
I just visited your website and noticed that you don't have a one-on-one footer chat bar for your users.
I would like to introduce you to CometChat - a Facebook style floating chat bar. CometChat includes some great features such as video chat and 2-player games. It also integrates seamlessly with your website.
I can assure you that your users will spend more time on your website once you get CometChat. Do have a look at our website for more information:
http://www.cometchat.com/?ref=CCS2
Please feel free to e-mail me if you have any queries whatsoever.
Warm Regards,
Aaron Smith
CometChat Sales
Keri — January 15, 2011
I'm a black female and just signed up with OKcupid. My responses on that site are nothing compared to the other sites I've tried out. I see that a lot of white men check out my profile but don't reply as much as I expect. On dating sites such as Blackpeoplemeet, Afroromance(interracial site),singleparentmeet, BBpeoplemeet, craigslist and eHarmanoy. I've gotten a much larger response from white men. But I haven't been on Okcupid for longer then a week so maybe I'm speaking too soon. Compared to the response from the other sites at this time was unexpected. I haven't completed my profile like I did on other sites so sure that plays a part in it. They should compared the top ten most popular sites for sociologial images. I'm sure there would be a different (probably larger) response percentage with black women.
Sociological Images course guide: Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders : Asian-Nation : Asian American News, Issues, & Current Events Blog — April 16, 2013
[...] Race, Response, and Dating Websites [...]
Kaosadi — May 28, 2013
Most people who date online do it for the sex so maybe it's just who they would prefer to hunt for
bigdawg — May 28, 2013
Online dating is for losers
My Life Online: Meet Cute | Wood's Stock — June 14, 2013
[...] interact and match with each other. You can read a concise breakdown of those results by Lisa Wade here, but the long and short of it is that if you’re going to try online dating it helps to be a [...]
David Deangelo Book References | Speed Seduction — May 13, 2015
[…] may result in Chinese cultural perspective forever. And the rest of your life? If yes then go for it. David Deangelo Book References thanks for your ex will just […]
My Pua Journal | Stylelife Blog — June 26, 2015
[…] learn to act like a king, then move on and strong. Use example to have profound enough, theyll see you as a guru rather the pickup artist 2 temporada than just look cute […]
spider solitaire game — October 17, 2018
play on free online spider solitaire game .this is amazing game on internet ,i payed this game many times on internet it increases the creativity of the player. this is a card game , it with twists and trubles.
online spider solitaire game — October 17, 2018
play on free online spider solitaire game .this is amazing game on internet ,i payed this game many times on internet it increases the creativity of the player. this is a card game , free online spider solitaire ,it with some truble situations and twists.
bluetooth in windows 10 — October 17, 2018
If you want to turn on bluetooth in windows 10 and facing errors on this then go on this website https://bluetoothwindows10.com/ and resolve your issues related with this.
Lucy Grey — December 17, 2018
Great article
vedant — January 11, 2019
Thank you so much for this sharing.
Rose Martine — October 8, 2019
I think this is one of the most important info for me. And i’m glad reading your article. But should remark on few general things, The website style is great, the articles is really excellent : D. Good job, cheers
bigpond email — January 23, 2020
Remarkable Blog site I was really impressive and insightful content and it is extremely valuable for me. Thank you for sharing this blog. Keep it Continues sharing this type of blog site.
Gregory Bogosian — June 4, 2020
The range of reply rates for white men to female senders is 32 to 47. The range of reply rates for Asian women to male senders is 17 to 29. So if white guys are shitty for not replying, then Asian women are extra shitty for replying even less.
Gregory Bogosian — June 4, 2020
The other thing about these charts that jumped out at me that you and Ok cupid missed is that women generally respond less than men. The range of reply rates for women is 17 to 39. The range of reply rates for men is 31 to 63. Women are the picky ones.
CaptainDave — February 19, 2021
Want to get to know your destiny but do not know how? We will help you find your dream. Bride service by mail - this is what you need. Here https://yourbrideglobal.com/ you can find your love.
sarahemma — March 18, 2021
It's necessary, I need more information skribbl io
에볼루션카지노 — June 7, 2022
화풀릴때까지 때리세요 에볼루션카지노 이곳에서 미리 즐기세요
Songs — April 20, 2023
Exclusive Song: Mohsen Ebrahimzade / Divoone Khoneh With Text And Direct Links In UpMusic
Musico
wiliam — April 20, 2023
Download New Music BY : Iliya Manshour | Darya With Text And 2 Quality 320 And 128 On Music-fa
UpMusics
zoomigo — June 17, 2023
Thank you. So useful for our team.
exalife — June 17, 2023
آیا بیت کوین بخرم ؟ نکتهای که باید به آن توجه داشته باشید، این است که خرید بیت کوین همواره مخاطراتی را در بر دارد و قبل از هرگونه خرید باید به دقت تحقیق کنید. توصیه میشود که قبل از خرید بیت کوین، با صرافی معتبری که تأیید شده است، معامله کنید. همچنین، حتماً باید از نرمافزارهای امنیتی جهت حفاظت از ارزش سرمایه خود استفاده کنید.
divinegabriel — September 11, 2023
This is a sensitive topic, Research by the dating site OK Cupid is novel, I find they offer elements worth pondering. This is a long-term problem, I think I should go play online games to relieve stress.
eleanor — May 7, 2024
This post resonated the eleanor dc with me on so many levels.
Jennie Fitz — October 3, 2024
"Race, Response, and Dating Websites" examines how racial dynamics play a significant role in online dating. The study explores how individuals' racial identities influence their experiences, including the responses they receive and their perceptions of potential partners SpotifyPie
Loge Weight — November 28, 2024
It's really interesting to think about how race and identity play such a big role in online dating. On many platforms, people often have to deal with implicit biases—both in how they’re treated by others and how they filter potential matches. I’ve noticed that people sometimes gravitate toward profiles that reflect their own race or cultural background, which is natural, but it can unintentionally create segregated spaces. I think it’s important for dating sites to help foster more open-mindedness and challenge the idea that race should be the deciding factor in compatibility. After all, we’re all looking for genuine connections, right?
Loge Weight — November 28, 2024
The way race is approached on dating sites can definitely affect people’s experiences in terms of both rejection and attraction. Some users feel like they’re more likely to receive attention if they fit a certain stereotype or racial standard, while others face a lot of discrimination because of their ethnicity. It’s frustrating to see how much people can be judged by superficial factors, but I also think online dating can be a tool for progress if used correctly—by encouraging people to see beyond race and engage with others based on shared values, interests, and personalities. Brightrs