The United Nations’ #HeForShe campaign had a fantastic launch, with Emma Watson’s impassioned speech deservedly going viral. She stood up and described how everyday sexism continues to discourage girls and women from being strong, physical, and outspoken. And she defended the “feminist” label as a simple demand for sexual equality. But most importantly, she called for solidarity between men and women in achieving it.
And then this video came out:
On the surface, it looks like a group of men from all walks of life answering Ms. Watson’s call. But delve deeper, and it becomes problematic. For me, anyway.
I’m a man, and I consider myself a feminist. But when I think about working towards an end to sexism, the last thing I would do is get a group of men to discuss the issue isolated from women. And yet that’s what this video seems to be trying to do.
It feels like a male encounter group, but obviously highly scripted. The different men describe their commitment to #HeForShe in terms of protective paternalistic stereotypes (“I can’t let my daughters, or my wife, suffer because I didn’t do MY job”) and entitlement (“If we don’t change it, it’s never gonna change.”)
I realize that men have to be part of the solution, but this video feels like it is saying that men ARE the solution. As if a bunch of bros getting together to share their feelings are going to solve sexism, with no reference to how sisters have been doing it for themselves for over 200 years. They don’t need a heroic male takeover of the women’s movement that helps us all feel proud of ourselves because we are “#NotAllMen.” They need real understanding and support.
Am I being too harsh? Maybe. But when the one man says, “Understand that it’s not only speaking out FOR women, but WITH women” to a sausage fest, the irony speaks volumes to me.
I think #HeForShe is a great idea, “a solidarity movement for gender equality that brings together one half of humanity in support of the other of humanity, for the entirety of humanity.”
So why can’t we do it together? Are men considered to be so sexist already that we need to find a “manly” way to be feminist?
Here’s an idea: Talk to women about the issue. But more importantly, listen to them about what they experience. There is far more work for us to do together.
Tom Megginson is a Creative Director at Acart Communications, a Canadian Social Issues Marketing agency. He is a specialist in social marketing, cause marketing, and corporate social responsibility. You can follow Tom at Osocio, where this post originally appeared, and The Ethical Adman Work That Matters.
Comments 18
mnkybrs — October 16, 2014
Did you write this article without input from a woman?
Chris — October 16, 2014
Just my two cents, but I'd say that the place for men in feminism is to listen to women, and then talk to men. Talking to a large group of men about being less sexist doesn't seem to be missing the point to me at all. Having men lecture women on how feminism works would be far worse, and seems far more common in my experience.
Evan — October 16, 2014
I recently read Amanda Hess write for Slate:
"...wrestling over 'how to integrate men in ways that don’t undermine gender equality' is a step up from 'having to convince men that it’s a problem in the first place.'"
http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2014/10/15/male_allies_confusing_for_feminism.html
Bill R — October 16, 2014
What specific behaviors should be changed and what specific results are expected from those changes.
Japaniard — October 16, 2014
Did he just unironically link to a Yahoo Answers page to define sausage parties?
Disqus_eh_um_saco — October 16, 2014
I don't think the absence of women implies their input isn't important. I can see why it looks like this. But if I'm not wearing red today doesn't mean I don't like the color. Did that analogy make sense?
So, is it a feasible situation that a man will be upset at how sexism affects his loved ones? Is it feasible that men talk among themselves, without the presence of any woman, about sexism?
Are any of those things bad?
More importantly, how many ads are there for this campaign? How many have they used?
So I think it's unfair to say this about it:
"Here’s an idea: Talk to women about the issue. But more importantly, listen to them about what they experience. There is far more work for us to do together."
Like that's something that went over their heads, even though the campaign had a woman representing it in the first place and it is from a United Nations entity headed by a woman.
Also, I think the take away message from the whole thing is that awareness and discussion of sexism can and should happen in any context, including an all male context.
boo — October 16, 2014
NO youre not being too harsh. what you said is basically what bros should be doing: RECONSIDERING THEIR OWN PLACES instead of assuming the same old role[macho arrogance] but with the title and surface purpose changed to read "feminism".
thanks for this, real allies really try
Jennifer — October 17, 2014
Isn't the best way for men to show they are feminist is to start contributing 50% to household chores and child care?
Start the conversation at home.
As a child of the 70s (where, unusually, my father did 50% without fanfare because it was FAIR). I would have expected women to be raising boys a bit better by now.
Forty years on, women are still frying up onions to go with their sausages and still doing the dishes afterwards. You pick them, you raise them.
Am I being harsh?
Jane — October 17, 2014
I know a small group of feminists who get kinda extreme and are proud to say that they hate men. I feel like this post gets at the core of what they expressed when did watched Emma Watson's original video. The video reminds me of the "She's someone's [mother, sister, girlfriend, wife, etc.] video." This video seems a bit tired, its been done and done better. I think it is a okay start though as long as it is the beginning of the conversation.
I think there needs to be a lot more listening going on about the lived experiences of women. It would have been more interesting and helpful to hear what these men have learned from talking about feminism and sexism that women experience from the girls and women in their lifes. A short 'Story Corps' style discussion(s) between a man and a woman would also be a great next step.
Obviously..... — October 23, 2014
It's not a group of men talking to each other---it's a bunch of marketing scriptwriters who haven't figured out how to get past their own cultural biases, yet.