Dolores R. sent in a cartoon by rampaige. It seems unlikely that a man would randomly criticize a woman in a scoop neck t-shirt for the existence of her breasts, but it happens more often than you think.
I’m a bit busty, and a girl, and strangers have occasionally given me “advice” about my breasts. Once I was told by a man I had just been introduced to that I shouldn’t wear sweaters. Stumped — and living in Wisconsin — I asked why. He explained that sweaters have “pile,” by which he meant that the fabric was thick. The thickness of the fabric, he said, made my boobs look even bigger. Since that was a bad thing, apparently, he advised me to avoid sweaters. Weird, I know. But I’m just saying, this stuff happens.
Lisa Wade, PhD is an Associate Professor at Tulane University. She is the author of American Hookup, a book about college sexual culture; a textbook about gender; and a forthcoming introductory text: Terrible Magnificent Sociology. You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram.
Comments 161
Tom Megginson — September 8, 2012
It's just another example of how men — and to be honest, many women as well — feel completely OK with treating women's bodies as a public display for the purpose of scrutiny and criticism.
The real question is, can we actually change this attitude in our lifetimes, without those women having to resort to the burqa? I hope so. But as an adman, my optimism is not that healthy.
Yngve Digernes — September 8, 2012
Hmm, why do you describe yourself as a "girl" and not as a "woman"?
Rknop — September 8, 2012
Response: "You shouldn't talk, as it makes you look more stupid and bigoted than perhaps even you are."
Rosa — September 8, 2012
I am small, and I have small breasts. Once, when getting my haircut, the hairdresser (rather loudly) pointed them out and declared, "Oh well, never mind, I guess! You can always buy some if you can't grow them!"
Blackrabbit — September 8, 2012
Well tom, there is a billion dollar industry dedicated to the public display of women's breasts. It is called the fashion industry.
Rosemary CG — September 8, 2012
Reminds me of how when I hit puberty (at age 11, mind you) certain classmates suddenly found it perfectly acceptable to label me a slut purely because I now had breasts.
Matthew Swyers — September 8, 2012
You could have advised him to get some sweater pants...but he is probably so clueless he wouldn't have understood.
Kristine — September 8, 2012
It is just me, or do these "Busty Girl Comics" somehow not sit well with anyone else? A lot of the "problems" she illustrates aren't really problems at all -- not when we live in a culture that adores the DD-cup. I put these comics in the same tasteless vein as I would put a comic series about "straight white male problems" or a comic series "first world problems" (oh, wait -- there are comics for that, but their humour is always self-mocking enough to let you know that they aren't actually serious). As more and more young women go under the knife for breast augmentation, somehow these comics just seem like one more (albeit well concealed) way of fishing for attention by using one's breasts.
JustSomeGuy — September 8, 2012
If I were a women, I'd walk topless and do everything I could to make men feel so uncomfortable with their boners until they gave up on this stupid bullshit.
Vadim McNab — September 8, 2012
Nice humblebrag.
urbanscribe — September 8, 2012
Yeah... never had that problem. I seem to remember getting comments like "raisins on a breadboard" then I had a baby and they turned into saggy, half-deflated (small) water balloons :(
BenJ — September 9, 2012
Any chance that the stranger's comments were a strange and awkward way of trying to "chat you" up?
Acadamia Nut — September 9, 2012
Thanks so much for being willing to share, Lisa! It means a lot to me as a busty girl.
Phil — September 9, 2012
I just had this conversation with my partner. A friend of mine had liked a page on Facebook called "Sluts" and the image showed up in my feed. It was of a woman with gigantic breasts in a bikini top. The imagery there was striking. Two things occurred to me: 1) how a woman dresses makes her a slut, obviously wrong but standard issue stuff, but 2) the size of her breasts does as well? I asked my partner and she assured me that it's so and that she and others have experienced similar assumptions and/or accusations. Such a thing had never occurred to me. What's the connection? Is it that men who see large breasts feel sexual feelings and blame that on the woman?
Former-Govt-Contractor — September 9, 2012
I once got a performance award at work in front of hundreds of co-workers, with the intro "Here's the little gal who puts the lie into not having brains and boobs both." Granted, it was 1980, but still...
B. Restman — September 9, 2012
No fair describing yourself as somewhat busty and not providing a photo.
B. Restman — September 9, 2012
No fair describing yourself as somewhat busty and not providing a photo.
None — September 9, 2012
No fair describing yourself as somewhat busty and not providing a photo.
Cinthia — September 24, 2012
I´m a 28GG and frankly, I like those cartoons. It´s nice to see my problems reflected there! It is a bummer not to find clothes that fit - I work in a formal environment and it is not nice not to find shirts/ jackets that fit. So I am left either with strechy t-shirts (and yes, looking "not-formal") or with huge clothes that make me look as if I am a child wearing my mother´s clothes (I am 1,62cm and a size 2 or 4, but need an 8 to accomodate my breasts).
Lucina Sandoval — November 29, 2012
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Busty-Girl-Comics/297993110257930?fref=ts Please give credit to the artist. Above is her page. :)
Marnie — October 20, 2013
It happens so often with me. Simple v neck shirts cause men (and sometimes women!) to make comments about me being loose or a slut and saying I have no self respect. It's disgusting. AND NOT MY FAULT.
honestly — May 5, 2014
sometimes it's hard to focus if someone's really in your face with 'em. I must admit I've commented once or twice, once when my 13 year old niece was wearing a really revealing shirt (I felt like she didn't know how much attention she'd get in school, she said yes she knew) and once when I coworker had them pushed-up and wearing a spaghetti strap tank on (at the time I was so distracted by them I thought she might not realize...). Now that I think about it I shouldn't have said anything, but as a straight woman I guess I felt like I could comment. Honestly, though, it is distracting in a school or workplace to be inappropriately dressed. Whether it's too short short-shorts or too small top, people are going to have a reaction and the people choosing the outfits on the morning have some part to play in that.
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Have you noticed if these unsolicited comments tend to come more from certain types of people? I've found older men often do this while pretending it's "helpful fashion tips."
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