As Anthropologist Peggy Sanday has shown, societies can be more or less rape-free or rape-prone. A rape-prone society is characterized by a rape culture, one in which women’s desires are unimportant and emotional, psychological, and physical sexual coercion is normative. In the U.S., pressuring or convincing women into sex is, in fact, well-tolerated. So goes the saying, ” ‘No’ doesn’t mean ‘no’; it’s just the beginning of negotiations.”
Claire B. and Sylvia M. sent in matching sartorial testaments to the dismissal of the requirement that women consent to sex. The first, on a website called teesbox (trigger warning), is a t-shirt that reads “I heart drunk girls.” In case you don’t get the point, along with the shirt are photos of drunken or incapacitated women and captions like, “She’ll let you do anything you want to her, any hole, any time (as long as it’s while she’s still wasted).”
This second t-shirt (text below) is sold on Amazon.com:
Lisa Wade, PhD is an Associate Professor at Tulane University. She is the author of American Hookup, a book about college sexual culture; a textbook about gender; and a forthcoming introductory text: Terrible Magnificent Sociology. You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram.two beers $7
three margaritas $15
four jello shots $20
Taking home the girl who
drank all of the above…
Priceless
Comments 193
Tom M. — September 17, 2010
It seems harmless at first. But then you read a story like this: http://www.cbc.ca/canada/british-columbia/story/2010/09/16/bc-facebook-rave-rape.html
An extreme example of ordinary people dehumanizing other people just because they thought it was okay...
Jihad Punk 77 — September 17, 2010
Send in the Gulabi Gang and have these rape apologists be taken care of. Sick shit.
andie — September 17, 2010
Ugh, I read that article today and nearly threw up. Bad enough that the girl was gang-raped but that people were passing the pics around? Did NOBODY think to pass them to the POLICE?
A lot of it is indicative of a need for greater emphasis on 'rape-that-doesn't-seem-like-rape'. Emphasis on ONLY YES MEANS YES rather than No Means No, since No Means No doesn't account for situations where one party is unable to provide explicit consent.
Lara — September 17, 2010
Oh that first t-shirt made me soooo mad I had to leave a comment on that blog. Probably won't get published though. What a bunch of pigs!
Lara — September 17, 2010
Just to let you know, I filed a formal complaint with Amazon in 3 different areas (phone, email, and live chat). The amazon shirt is from an independent seller. Hopefully they will remove it soon.
Rebecca Hamilton — September 17, 2010
While I absolutely agree that these shirts are offensive, this post brings up an interesting question for me: It feels like there's an assumption here that I, as a woman, have been raped if I have sex with someone after I've been drinking heavily. Am I not trusted to make decisions for myself, sexually or otherwise, after I've been drinking?
Of course decision-making is impaired when inebriated, but I worry when concern for women's safety feels like it mitigates my ability to make decisions (even "bad" ones) for myself.
El Train — September 17, 2010
Another shirt, this time worn by a woman: http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/drunk-girls-tshirt.jpg
Just sick and sad.
AG — September 17, 2010
If a guy wanders around with a shirt like that it may act as a signaling device to the women around as to his belief system and/or it may reinforce the cultural message.
MissMissy — September 17, 2010
Gross.
Full stop.
Dr. Kate — September 17, 2010
One totally screwed up side piece to this is that many "good moral" women are taught and firmly believe that consenting to sex while sober makes them a tramp, but its okay if they are drunk and "just couldn't stop themselves". Yet another way that women are deprived of agency and disallowed desire, while giving the impression that men need to get women drunk to get around "no".
Chris — September 17, 2010
I think the majority of Americans would find the t-shirts objectionable. I'm not sure I buy the idea that America as a whole is a "rape culture," though I could agree it has a definite rape subculture.
Jon — September 17, 2010
How many times have women fabricated rape claims against men as a means to get back at them or for any whimsical reason? How many times have women consented to sex only to change their mind after the fact and decide it wasn't consensual after all? A simple google search turns up thousands of such cases in which women fabricate rape claims when it is to their advantage. These sickly, manipulative women have contributed to the devaluation of real rape claims too.
I guess the only safe thing to do is to have your lawyer present before intercourse and have both parties sign a contract permitting the other to engage in sexual intercourse. Talk about foreplay.
Dominique — September 17, 2010
There's a lot behind what took place in B.C. with the gang-rape situation. There's a lot behind the culture that made it happen.
What kind of psychopathic little assholes post rape pictures on Facebook? Severe trigger warning.
Holly — September 17, 2010
If we lived in an egalitarian society, I would have so much more and so much better sex! Someone should start a website, Feminist Fuck Buddies. Men who will respect you for simply wanting to fulfill a basic biological urge and who care about your pleasure as much as their own.
Chlorine — September 17, 2010
That site is AWFUL.
http://teesbox.com/screaming-only-makes-it-sexier-tshirt.html?osCsid=4f04d2e5a08c1ea52f322e92bf8e206b
"screaming only makes it sexier." REALLY???
It would be physical effort to not slap anybody I saw in that shirt.
Arbie — September 17, 2010
I was raped by a man who previously had been very generous with serving me alcohol. By "raped" I mean that I said no, but he kept doing it, and the police photographed bruises on my upper arms from him holding me down. Yet when questioned by the police, he said it was consensual. Then the (Lewisville, Texas) detective who handled my case told me that the man could not be arrested or prosecuted, since I couldn't "prove" it was against my will. The intoxication, saying no, and bruising were not enough proof? What did they want?
Ratoslov — September 18, 2010
I do have to wonder: Would you have such a strong reaction to, say, this T-shirt?
http://www.zazzle.com/i_heart_drunk_boys_shirt-235876211526471676
resident_alien — September 18, 2010
Ratoslov,are you being cute here? If I go out with the intention of getting drunk and getting laid or if I just want to go out for a few drinks or more (hell,drink myself blind even)and not fuck anyone is a world of difference,non? Do the words "mutual","intent" or "consent" mean anything to you?
kevin — September 18, 2010
I don't think shirts like these are indicitave of a culture that actually condones rape. The same manufacturers also print shirts that say things like, "I (silhouette of a plane) New York" and "I fucking hate kikes, wops, spicks, krauts, and chinks... BUT I LOVE NIGGERS." They're intended to be offensive, and the people who make them and (presumably) the people who wear them are fully aware of that.
UU — September 18, 2010
So reading these comments I'm not sensing any argument that we are NOT living in a rape-prone society, which to me indicates that its perfectly ok that we do. I think it would be nice if we did in fact lived in a rape-free society here in the U.S. and find it sad that hardly anyone is advocating for this on the site. Maybe I don't understand and that being in a rape-free society would spell disaster for the very fabric of american life. Who knows?
wrymuse — September 18, 2010
So I've been thinking a lot about this. Many of the comments here regarding drinking and sex (re: people who drink to lower their inhibitions, women being able to drink and take care of themselves etc.,) didn't sit right with me, but I lacked the explanation to respond back. I think I've kind of come up with something, so I want to share it.
The major problem I see with this whole "drunk girls RULE" is that women who are intoxicated are seen as some sort of trophy or supreme being. There is an ongoing social implication that drunk girls are better than non-intoxicated ones, and should be the type that men focus on. The reason for this, based on what is further said concerning these (re: she'll let you do it in any hole, any time, any where, as long as she's intoxicated, etc.) is that it is because men will have complete control and power over these women. They won't say no. Whether it is because they are so drunk they are unable to, or because alcohol clouds their thinking (the idea they even if they did say no, they wouldn't remember it or they couldn't stop the encounter because alcohol weakens them has crossed my mine, but I'd rather not focus on that), is not considered, the point is She Will Be At Your Disposal.
So the whole stereotype is really detrimental to women. This type of "drunk girl" is not a woman in control of herself when she is drinking, or perhaps a little less inhibited. The ideal is a woman who is totally out of control. This is the "holy grail", if you will, of finds in the bar scene. To me, that is what the problem is with this message. Hopefully that makes sense.
TeesBox — September 18, 2010
I've noticed a lot of posts from concerned citizens, presumably originating from here, on my website's blog of late. No, your messages are not being deleted, they just require the administrators approval before being shown on the website.
Please be aware that we at TeesBox would never knowingly condone or advocate rape or any form of sexual attack, regardless of gender. The same goes for other such shirts we sell, such as the necrophilia related one. I was not personally responsible for the design of this particular t-shirt, nor the posting of the associated blog post, but I have no reason to doubt the integrity of the message that was displayed in both cases.
We believe ourselves to be a light-hearted company, and we would like to think our customers look at our products in the same way, taking them for what they are, as wholly unserious novelty items. We are no more promoting rape than we are solvent abuse (High on Life & Glue), anti-patriotism (Your Country Hates You), impersonating a police office (Undercover Police), or frenzy killing (High School Massacre).
While I realise that several wrongs doesn't make a right, I hope you'll see that from our point of view we are simply filling a niché in a market. Many of our t-shirts are risqué and thoroughly intended to offend, but definitely not to incite. I find it highly improbable that a would-be rapist would advertise the fact on their chest. If you would like to talk about this further, you can contact me through the contact section of our website or blog.
Regards,
Jason
TeesBox.com
Kate — September 19, 2010
Actually, I do see guys in shirts like these from time to time, and the one thing I am grateful for is the Potential Rapist Warning Alarm it sets off, so that I can avoid being anywhere near these assholes...maybe TeesBox and I will both be in luck, and all of the men who find it acceptable to have sex with women against her will will buy one.
Eve — September 22, 2010
I can't continue reading the arrogant, no-means-maybe comments on this post because they depress me too much. Reading the comments from feminists on the rape t-shirt site, and the misogynistic responses to them, makes me even sicker.
My only comfort is that the commenters and producers of the t-shirt make up the 5% of society that spends most of its time on the internet, and are too complacent to put themselves in situations where they'd affect humanity in any way.
Diane — September 22, 2010
Call Amazon.com and tell them to stop selling this shirt. I just did.
(800) 201-7575
http://www.amazon.com/Funny-Shirt~-Taking-Above-Priceless-MEDIUM/dp/B003WS60WY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=apparel&qid=1280960038&sr=8-1
+ & – — My Milk Glass Heart — September 22, 2010
[...] This post about t-shirts that glorify sleeping with/raping wasted drunk women pissed me off so badly. I left a comment on the site showing the first tee and I filed 3 formal complaints with and started a discussion on Amazon for the second tee. I’m hoping Amazon will quit allowing their Marketplace sellers use of the site to peddle garbage. What the hell is wrong with people?! I am all for freedom of speech. I’m also for the good old-fashioned boycott. [...]
Anonymous — January 12, 2011
lann lelo bhenchodo....fuddu khincte ho hmarrr?????????
David — November 14, 2011
t-shirts like this wouldn't exist if women would have sex with me when they were sober, i have no standards why can't they?
Yes Means Anal | HONR 100C: Sexuality in Southern Literature — October 9, 2012
[...] subject of rape can be viewed at the bottom of the aforementioned article. It includes links to a t-shirt and video game that jokingly yet horrifically encourage the rape of women, especially while drunk [...]
[kinsey] April Is Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM) – Are We Aware Yet? | my sociology — April 22, 2013
[...] In fact, many have argued that we live in a rape culture because sexual violence and the cultural norms that condone it are so [...]
Movie Outfits — January 4, 2023
Peggy Sanday's research on rape-prone and rape-free societies was eye-opening and thought-provoking. This Movie Outfits has helped us to understand the alarming prevalence of rape culture in the U.S. and the role that it plays in normalizing the pressure and coercion of women into having sex. Claire B. and Sylvia M.'s t-shirt is an affront to the importance of consent and a reminder of how far we have to go in eliminating rape culture. It serves as a stark reminder of how we need to continue to raise awareness and push for change in our society.
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Conan — September 30, 2023
This shirt is NOT offensive.
Consent is like innocent. You are innocent by default unless anyone can prove the opposite. If there no obvious sign of being forced that means she is ok with it.
For the drunk thing you all are hypocrite, a drunk girl is more horny than a sober one that's why guys want to get her drunk. That is NOT rapping !! When you drink, you are an adult, you know (or not) yourself but if you don't know yourself under some circomstances then dont get drunk. STOP BLAMING SOCIETY AND DEMONIZING MEN BECAUSE YOU FUCKING NEED THEM TO REPRODUCE YOURSELF...
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION
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