Rose saw the ad below in a free UK parenting magazine. She thought it was a great example of how an ad sometimes pays “lip service to being inclusive and PC, while [including] numerous elements [that] make it obvious that it isn’t what they really intend.”
So, yes, the ad specifies that the event is for “mums, dads and carers” and it’s nice that they went that far to include them. But the event is clearly for mothers or women carers and their girl children (and, more specifically, the transfer of feminine training from mother to daughter). The color of the ad, the feminine shoes with bows, the title (“Mummy Mornings”), and the feminized activities (including “beauty sessions” and the chance to be “spoilt”) are all elements that mark this as for-girls-only.
Is it better to include dads as an afterthought? Or should we just acknowledge that we’re organizing parent/child activities around mothers (and in this case, daughters)?
Lisa Wade, PhD is an Associate Professor at Tulane University. She is the author of American Hookup, a book about college sexual culture; a textbook about gender; and a forthcoming introductory text: Terrible Magnificent Sociology. You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram.
Comments 23
Sarah — June 25, 2010
I dont know but the "dad's as an afterthought" is pretty common. The idea of single-income / dual-income families is often phrased around having the mom stay home. Whenever my husband takes our son to the doctor they make a comment about him "being mom". All the parenting magazines are focused 100% on mom. Could there be any more of a signal that women don't want men to care for kids?
I wonder if, with the demographics changing in who is staying at home, this will change at all.
JihadPunk77 — June 25, 2010
It's really amazing and offensive how society disregards men as carers and fathers for children. Sexism affects both genders, too.
one example: people refer to it as "babysitting" when a man stays home to take care of his children. Um, excuse me, it's not babysitting if it's a father taking care of his own bloody kids.
Willow — June 25, 2010
Is this an ad for a parent (mother)/child event, or just the carer? (Not that that makes any difference in terms of gendering, but the OP refers to it as a mother/daughter thing, and I don't see where you're getting that. "Me time"? "Free cup of coffee"?).
sam — June 25, 2010
What would be awesome is if a bunch of stay at home dads got together and showed up en masse at the mummy morning, while the mothers did some other shit.
Rose — June 25, 2010
I sent in the original ad. I thought it was aimed at adults - some would probably bring babies or toddlers, but just because they need to look after them.
It's in school time, so it's certainly not aimed at school-age children (in the UK most children start full-time school at 4) and I can't imagine you'd be able to do all that much training in the feminine arts with such young children. I don't think it's intended to be for parent/child joint activities. I know there are small shoes next to the woman's shoes in the photos, but I think that's just to get the idea of "mum" rather than "woman" in general.
Anyway, I could be wrong, but to me the ad suggests that it's parents only.
One aspect that makes it particularly interesting is that there has been a huge push from the government recently, and I believe rightly so, for professionals working with families to acknowledge and include fathers more. A lot of schools and children's centres are now running special events aimed only at male carers (they usually make it clear that it's not just dads but that grandads, uncles, step dads etc are welcome). The government (well, the previous one) published checklists and quizzes for you to check how dad-friendly your school or Early Years setting was. While all this hasn't necessarily translated into much change yet, at least an effort is being made.
Hedgehog — June 25, 2010
"The color of the ad..."
So, if it purple in an ad for women, it's "social construction of color preferences", and if it purple in an ad for all, then it's to hint that it's for females only?
And it's the same for the other indicators. You can't have it both ways. Either you assume it's there because of how the audiences read it, or you assume it's there because someone wants to educate the masses.
Claiming both is a bit silly.
md — June 25, 2010
This reminds me of Mums & Bubs movie sessions that have seen advertised quite a lot in the past few years. This site (http://www.hoyts.com.au/Movies/Offers/Mums_n_Bubs.aspx) advertises "Mums & Bubs" cinema sessions but then makes the comment that "not just mums who're invited. Any adult carer - mum, dad, granny, nanny, auntie is welcome..."
I guess "Adult Carers & Bubs" sessions isn't as catchy?
KD — June 25, 2010
Does it strike anyone else strange that this is being held at a place called Spur Steak and Grill? I wouldn't expect to see style and beauty sessions in a place like that.
Dominic — June 25, 2010
Note too that it takes place at 9:30 AM on Wednesdays. The exclusion that first jumped out at me was not actually gender, but class--many mothers/carers who work full-time jobs won't be able to make it to that. Making it on, say, a Saturday would probably be somewhat more inclusive, I think.
Rose — June 26, 2010
Dominic, I think that's mainly because a steak house is only going to host these events in their most quiet periods. Out of standard work hours, I expect the steak house is much busier. So it's an attempt to bring in more customers during a quiet off-peak time - fair enough.
Plus, at least in the UK things like this are often specifically intended to take place while the older kids are at school, so that it's a focus more on the adults. In addition, there's something of a general attitude that mums who work outside the home are spending plenty of time with other adults, and aren't sitting at home missing adult company so much as mums who don't go out to work. So things like this are often targeted at non-employed mums, because it's perceived that they are more isolated and missing contact with other adults.
A large proportion of non-working mums are on welfare, including tax credits. Elements like the free cup of coffee, and taking place in a steak house (not exactly a snooty or expensive restaurant) would seem more attractive/welcoming to low income mums. Yet to me, the ad seems aimed more at the "yummy mummies" - everything from the rich colours and fancy shoes to the use of the word "Mummy" (not mum) and the way the themed sessions are described.
It makes sense that you would much rather bring in a higher-income clientele to your business than people living on welfare or low incomes.
Lola — June 28, 2010
I also notice that this event is Wednesday mornings at 9:30 am.
I could be wrong, but won't a lot of people, especially mothers, be at work at that time??