Flashback Friday.
In a society that objectifies women, women learn that, to many others, they are their bodies. Because our bodies are the means by which others judge us, we place our bodies under deep and critical scrutiny. In such a world, all bodies are always potentially problematic. Women are too much of this or not enough of that. Even when women like their bodies overall, there is always some part that some person would judge unacceptable. And, in any case, our bodies will inevitably (continue to) disappoint us if we lose the ability to invest time and money on them or, of course, dare to age.
Two postcards recently presented at Post Secret illustrate this idea. In one a woman expresses her discomfort with her small breasts:
In the other, a woman explains that her breasts make her feel insecure:
Large breasts are desirable? Right? At least that’s what the first woman believes. But large breasts can also be intimidating. Carrying around large breasts can bring attention one doesn’t want (“hey baby”) and judgments that are unfair (“she is flaunting her body”). Small breasts, however, may be de-sexualizing or, conversely, they may attract the attention of men who like to pretend that the women they sleep with are girls.
No matter what size and shape a woman’s breasts, the focus on her body that an objectifying culture makes others feel entitled to make them meaningful in ways that women can’t control. And that will be a problem for all women sometimes, no matter what her body looks like.
Originally posted in 2010; cross-posted at Jezebel.
Lisa Wade, PhD is an Associate Professor at Tulane University. She is the author of American Hookup, a book about college sexual culture; a textbook about gender; and a forthcoming introductory text: Terrible Magnificent Sociology. You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram.
Comments 88
Wred — August 23, 2010
What do you gain in assuming that men who like small breasts are essentially pedophiles? I get that you're putting words in the mouth of the patriarchy, but you seem to imply that the sexualization of large breasts and the infantilization of small breasts is natural, regardless. Your point is well taken that objectifying makes bodies meaningful in uncontrollable ways, but you still make it seem like large breasts inspire more normative sexuality in men, which in itself is a constructed fetish.
Jihad Punk 77 — August 23, 2010
as a teenager, I used to feel ashamed of my breasts because I thought they made me look fat. You know, since all the models in teen magazines were thin and had flat chests. of course, now I like my body and I wouldn't change my breast size for anything else in the world.
It's sad that both women with small breasts AND large breasts suffer from low self esteem. We can't win.
Heather — August 23, 2010
Many people also have the notion that women with large breasts are dumb. As a voluptuous woman, I find myself deliberately trying to "look like an intellectual" (e.g., wearing glasses) to counteract that judgment. I think it has to do with American culture's (perhaps other western cultures as well) extreme polarization of body/sex/physicality on the one hand and brain/intellect/ideas on the other. Large breasts send the (mistaken) signal that one is a physical, sensual person -- so much so that they cannot possibly be an intellectual person as well.
What a load of codswallop!
Paul — August 23, 2010
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/__XCWUd8FFjQ/THKNxMZDqqI/AAAAAAAAK8Y/2rzl4_g9XHM/s1600/CU-Independent1.jpg
HN — August 23, 2010
Another problem that no one ever talks about is that our notion of the "ideal breasts" is largely shaped by what we see on the movies and on porn stars, but *real* breasts rarely look that good.
So even if you have large breasts that everyone thinks are gorgeous, you always think about how they really look when you are not wearing that extra-supporting bra.
Bleep — August 23, 2010
Having larger breasts, I find that my clothing choices are severely reduced.
If a smaller chested woman shows 30% of her cleavage, it's acceptable. The same top on me is somehow obscene. I've learned this over the years from well intentioned friends and family consistently telling me to pull my neckline up to get more coverage. Because then noone will know I have boobs! Or something.
So yes, it can definitely make you insecure.
chickadee — August 23, 2010
Breast reduction surgery has been my dream since I was about twelve, and after several decades, it might actually happen this year! Just being able to run without having to wear a cast-iron marvel of engineering sounds like bliss.
However, I've been genuinely surprised at the number of people who have expressed snide or demeaning sentiments toward my plans.
Jill — August 23, 2010
I'm fairly happy with the size of my breasts. While no men have ever directly criticized the size of my breasts there's still this feeling that I should be bigger.
There's probably just as many men that feel the same way about the size of their sexual organs. Although that's not as visible as our breasts, I can guarantee that there are plenty of men that would share a similar sentiment as the first image in regards to swimming. I've dated a few, and it's really hard to stay attracted to a man that feels insecure.
Lexica — August 23, 2010
Large breasts are desirable? Right? At least that’s what the first woman believes.
Speaking as a woman with small breasts, I think this interpretation is off slightly. The message that we flat-chested women get is not "large breasts are desirable", it's "small breasts are UNdesirable".
The message is similar, but not the same: It's not a positive "if you meet this standard, you're okay" it's a negative "here's another way in which you can never measure up".
Charlotte — August 23, 2010
oh I have one more thought. I really sympathize with "nobody understands", because a lot of the time I hear "oh yeah, it must be SO TERRIBLE to have such huge boobs". the kicker is that it's really no cakewalk! I guess the moral is that if you are a lady and have a body and dress it in clothes, chances are you're doing SOMETHING wrong. c'est la vie?
Chen — August 23, 2010
Seriously, I don't think it's that no size is a good size - but that breast size must fall firmly in the center. A size boobs are too small; D+ and up is too big. C or D is perfection, B acceptable.
Simone Lovelace — August 23, 2010
Okay, I know this isn't the main point, but can we please, please, PLEASE get rid of the old chestnut that attraction to small-breasted women is equivalent to pedophilia?
Does anyone have a scrap of evidence to support this belief?
It's true that some women look more like little girls than others, and that part of looking like a child is having small breasts. But being small-chested does not mean that one looks like a little girl.
Sadie — August 23, 2010
The day I read a beauty magazine article about imperfect armpits I just about imploded. There is an agenda here, and it is to make sure women (and now increasingly, men too) are so dissatisfied with their appearance that they will do almost anything to fix it (read: pay through the nose for surgery, cosmetics, clothing, whatever is going). It's very sad that so many people take this fickle body image crap to heart and suffer for it.
I suppose in a strange way I was very lucky to be born with an "undesirable" nose; it taught me that I would never, ever live up to the beauty ideal (though I am by no means unattractive). So I "opted out", cultivated my intellectual pursuits, and found other ways to feel attractive and sexy. I wish other people could find a way out through a similar crack in the wall. We aren't meant to be perfect.
"Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in. "
Leonard Cohen
Naomi — August 23, 2010
One of the reasons we as women (speaking for American women, anyway) tend to feel that our breasts are inadequate in one way or the other, is that we never see the true variety of breasts, either in person or in photos. All we see are the specially-selected, photoshopped prototype breasts that we are led to believe is what ALL breasts should look like.
If I had my way, every girl would grow up knowing about this wonderful variety of breast shapes and sizes. The "Normal Breasts Photos Gallery" (http://www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php)is a good way for us to see what we all look like. The photos are accompanied by the subject's reflections on her breasts.
The only place I disagree with the Normal Breasts gallery folks is their emphasis that breasts are "for" breastfeeding, not for men to look at. Breasts are for breastfeeding, absolutely, and - if you're agreeable to it - for men to look at. But what about OUR sexual pleasure? Aren't breasts for that too?
As far as the too big/too small dilemma goes: you know you've discovered an unrealistic societal assumption when whatever choice you make (or in this case breast size you have) is wrong.
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Sveinn Ríkarður Jóelsson — August 24, 2010
Do my words loose meaning if I say them while looking at the persons chest? Can we presume to know what is on others peoples minds by pondering self image? Does it really matter what others think ... really? I'd like to be judged by my actions and true worth but that is a fantasy. I can strife to do the same for others and I think I do too but it doesn't always work out.
I think self image is overrated and I don't dwell to much on it, maybe that is the key agenda, to blow the importance of self image out of all proportions in order to sell perfection in magazines? Be it breasts, nails the music you listen to ... self definition is perhaps not really needed?
Good reading around the web « I AM in shape. ROUND is a shape. — August 24, 2010
[...] postcards recently regarding personal reflections on body image. Two are briefly analyzed over at Sociological Images for the way that they reflect two ends of a spectrum regarding self-conscious thoughts held by [...]
Anonymous — August 24, 2010
I think I'm going to start saving money for breast elimination, I feel so uncomfortable with mine. Really. I have no positive thoughts about my breasts, and that makes me sad.
Lily — November 12, 2010
For the women talking about breast reduction: I recently had a discussion on Youtube w/ a guy talking about Simona Halep reducing her DD's to a C. (I'm an A cup, btw) I was tired of all these guys talking about the ignorant comment of (as someone else commented) "It's like slapping God in the face." I brought up the facts that breasts are for feeding our children, and that is a gift, and that gift works with any size breasts (even my A's) He told me that DD's were in a fact a gift from God, etc. I brought up that there is no proof that there is a God (no offense if you believe in God) and that God has nothing to do with breast size. I also brought up that you can also have sex with B's as much as you can D's. I also brought up (as someone also said earlier) that males are hypocrites, talking about women "ruining" their "god" given bodies by reduction, but did these men feel the same way when Kate Hudson ruined her "God" given body and her blessed small breasts with implants? No, of course, no man thinks that way. He went on to say something about feeling "sorry" for Kate's small breasts and supporting her decision for implants. Hypocritical and ignorant.
jj — January 27, 2011
Most "youtube guys" are jerks with no lives anyway.
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