Perusing my Facebook feed, I came across a photo proudly posted by a former student — now a hair and makeup artist — of two brides at a wedding. It was beautiful and the young, conventionally attractive brides were leaning in for a kiss. Or engagement celebrations, like this:
When I saw the image, my mind immediately pulled up similar images it has in storage — frequently described as girl-on-girl action — and I was struck by the similarity of the images and their powerfully different messages.
Until recently, “hot girl-on-girl action” was the primary visual that involved women kissing. In mainstream culture, genuine and open female same-sex attraction was almost entirely invisible, hidden and denied. Today, the proliferation of same-sex marriages offer a new visual landscape for framing what it means for two women to kiss each other.
The meaning, moreover, could not be more different. Though often women with same-sex desire use this assumption to explore real attraction, girl-on-girl action shots are ostensibly between two heterosexually-oriented women who are kissing for male attention. These brides are presumably doing the opposite of that. They are displaying love and commitment to one another. The kiss is for them and no one else and they are, implicitly if not actually, openly committing to making themselves sexually unavailable to anyone else, male or female. This is far from the notion that they are just kissing a girl to get guys to think they’re sexy.
I wonder how these images — ones that depict sexual intimacy between women who love one another and do not seek male attention — will ultimately change how we think about “girl-on-girl” action in the U.S. As they proliferate, will they push back against the male-centrism and heterocentrism of our society? I think they very well might.
Lisa Wade, PhD is an Associate Professor at Tulane University. She is the author of American Hookup, a book about college sexual culture; a textbook about gender; and a forthcoming introductory text: Terrible Magnificent Sociology. You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram.
Comments 15
Anna — April 29, 2014
The first picture is so weird. It's already weird to see hetero couples with very similar builds and coloring who make exactly the same stylistic choices, and here it's even more pronounced.
Andrew — April 29, 2014
Most of the images of lesbian weddings chosen by the news media have been of older, less conventionally-attractive and couples, the kind of women that wouldn't normally be featured in mainstream porn. This has been crucial to the success of the marriage-equality movement; we've grown accustomed to associating gay marriage with people who looked like our relatives, teachers, and neighbors, rather than idealized stock-photo models.
Eventually we'll reach a moment when most of the gay couples getting married are young folks, rather than older couples who have been waiting for decades to finally have their civil rights, and I suppose then photos like these will be more common. But unless we also see a massive revolution in the attitude toward female beauty as a consumable commodity, I don't see how this will present any real challenge to mainstream heteronormativity.
As for the idea that contemporary marriage (gay or straight) involves making oneself "sexually unavailable to anyone else" - oh, how quaint. Girl, I've been married since you were an undergrad, and I can tell you some stories...
Bill R — April 30, 2014
They all look beautiful and happy and I wish them the best. General advice regardless of sexual orientation however, not that I'm an expert per se, would be to keep open mouth shots out of formal wedding pictures unless you're trying to be particularly provocative for some reason. The top 2 are fine; the bottom 2 are pushing it...
Brandelle — May 3, 2014
To be fair they could be nonmonogamous and just be committing themselves to each other in the I want you in my life forever kind of way and NOT to the exclusion of anyone else. Just a thought. :)
Frances J. — May 5, 2014
The tagline on Autostraddle, a queer women's website, is "News, Entertainment, Opinion, Community and Girl-on-Girl Culture."
I'm honestly not sure how much these wedding images you've shared are destabilizing much; in all three wedding photos, the brides are conventionally beautiful: tall, skinny, white, femme, abled. Marriage is not a very radical (or very "queer") institution.
Ed — December 30, 2014
Subtly, the camera angle can be a factor too. Notice that in the non-wedding picture the camera is angled slightly above the women, reflecting the tendency for men to be (on average) taller than women; this is removed or otherwise subverted in the wedding shots. They don't give the impression of a male-gaze in the most literal sense.
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