Way back in 1996, sociologist Sharon Hays coined the phrase “the ideology of intensive motherhood.” She intended to draw attention to a new norm for mothering that involved, among other things, making children the center of one’s life and subordinating your own needs and wants to theirs.
I can’t help but think of Hays and her beleaguered mothers every time I see this commercial:
“When we’re having this much fun,” the voiceover says, “why quit?”
And I think, “No, seriously, quit it.”
But the mother in the ad doesn’t tell the kid to quit it. She beams. And then she gives the younger child his own glass of chocolate milk and claps as he learns how to blow bubbles in it.
Bounty glamorizes the clean-up work the mother has to do after her child blows his chocolate milk all over the kitchen table and floor. As if letting a child make an unnecessary mess is the most unselfish sign of love. It’s an excellent example of the ideology of intensive motherhood: everyone knows that this is going to be additional work for the mother, but the kids are having a good time and that’s what’s important.
Cross-posted at Pacific Standard.
Lisa Wade, PhD is an Associate Professor at Tulane University. She is the author of American Hookup, a book about college sexual culture; a textbook about gender; and a forthcoming introductory text: Terrible Magnificent Sociology. You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram.
Comments 13
Larry Charles Wilson — November 13, 2014
Oh, for pity's sake!
Andrew — November 13, 2014
That little brat is definitely old enough to know how to clean up his own chocolate milk.
Bill R — November 13, 2014
3 comments:
1. The Baby's fine. The kid with the bubbles needed a verbal warning and a lesson in housekeeping; parents who reward childish disruptions live to see repeat performances for many years.
2. Proctor and Gamble, uninterested in affirming or rejecting any social norms, had a different motive in advertising this value proposition for Bounty. They literally CREATED a market where none existed, by convincing people that the means of cleaning kitchen mess should be routinely disposed of along with the mess itself. Disposable paper replaced the unsanitary towel that needed to be washed constantly. Hence, no need to fret over your dullard son entertaining the baby by pissing you off--just wipe and toss. They made hundreds of millions. Gotta hand it to them.
3. We need an "ideology of intensive parenting" in which the decision to bring a child into the world is met with a commitment to sacrifice for the family. Each mother and father team needs to sort it out for themselves and those who criticize others are advised to look into own affairs first.
katiehippie — November 13, 2014
The one that really got me was the hockey player bounty commercial. Like somehow that her mom used Bounty enabled her to become an Olympic hockey player. Yeah, I'm sure that was it....
Kali — November 13, 2014
I find that ad extremely irritating - exactly for the reason you give. It's not like mom's life is difficult enough. Let's make it even more difficult and expect her to smile and enjoy it. How funny and heartwarming.
Everything Sociology — November 13, 2014
Instead of glamorizing "roles" of mothers, they should show the consequences of making a mess. Such as if you spill it, then you have to wipe it up. Or if you spill it, this is what I have to go through to clean it.
Cactus_Wren — November 13, 2014
This ad reminds me of the KFC commercial from a few years ago, where Mom puts the bucket of chicken squarely in the middle of the table. Dad and Brother and Sister eagerly lean forward, look in ... and each sit back in almost heartbroken disappointment. Whereupon Mom reaches out again and ROTATES THE BUCKET 120 DEGREES CLOCKWISE, so Dad has the Original Recipe in front of him, Brother has the Extra Crispy, and Sister has the Popcorn Chicken. Because rotating the bucket themselves, or saying "Please pass me a drumstick, Extra Crispy", would have been too harrrrrrrrrrrd.
Caroline Lea — November 14, 2014
I would agree that getting all mad at the kids in this situation would be overkill, but that kid can clean it up himself. What bothers me most about this commercial is that that is clearly not actually chocolate milk. What is it? yuck.
bellacoker — November 17, 2014
My issue with the commercial is that the mother's voice is **wrong** when she says, "Again, again!" She's not communicating wee, this is fun, I am so glad this is happening!!
Miss Disco — November 17, 2014
Wouldn't a better idea for this advert be to have the kid get passed the towels to clean up the chocolate milk and show that because of bounty, its so easy to clean up spilled milk?