Haley Morris-Cafiero is an artist, a photographer, and a scorned body. Aware that her appearance attracts disgust and mockery from some, she decided to try to document people’s public disdain. The result is a series of photographs exposing the people who judge and laugh at her. She chose to publish several at Salon. Go take a look. I’ll wait.
…
Dmitriy T.C. was the last of many who’ve suggested I write about this. I’ve decided against it in the past because I anticipated a critique, one that dismissed the project on the argument that we can’t really know what is going through these people’s minds. Maybe the cop is just a jerk and he does that to everyone? Maybe the gawkers are looking at someone or something on the other side of her? Where’s the proof that these are actually instances of cruel, public anti-fat bias?
In some cases, Morris-Cafiero has a story to go along with the photo. The girl waiting to cross the street with her, she said, was slapping her stomach. In another instance, she overheard a man say “gorda,” fat woman. This type of context makes at least some of the photographs seem more “legit.”
But, as I’ve thought more about it, I actually think the project’s strength is in its ambiguity. The truth is that Morris-Cafiero often does not know what’s going on in the minds of her subjects. Yet, because she carries a body that she knows is disdained by many, it is perfectly reasonable for her to feel like every grimace, look of disgust, laugh, shared whisper, and instance of teasing is a negative reaction to her body. In fact, this is how many fat people experience being in public; whether they’re right about the intent 100% of the time is irrelevant to their lived experience.
And this is how people of color, people who speak English as a second language, disabled people and others who are marginalized live, too. Was that person rude because I speak with an accent? Did that person say there was no vacancies in the apartment because I’m black? Was I not chosen for the job because I’m in a wheelchair? Privilege is being able to assume that the person laughing behind you is laughing at something or someone else, that the scowl on someone’s face is because they’re having a bad day, and that there must have been a better qualified candidate.
For many members of stigmatized groups, it can be hard not to at least consider the possibility that negative reactions and rejections are related to who they are. Morris-Cafiero’s project does a great job of showing what that looks like.
Lisa Wade, PhD is an Associate Professor at Tulane University. She is the author of American Hookup, a book about college sexual culture; a textbook about gender; and a forthcoming introductory text: Terrible Magnificent Sociology. You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram.
Comments 138
The Privilege of Assuming It’s Not about You | UX Archives — February 25, 2014
[…] The Privilege of Assuming It’s Not about You […]
Anna — February 25, 2014
"In fact, this is how many fat people experience being in public; whether they’re right about the intent 100% of the time is irrelevant to their lived experience."
Well, I can certainly believe that it is irrelevant to this particular woman's lived experience, and it's called paranoia, persecutory delusions, and victimization complex. What a bastardization of the concept of privilege.
The Privilege of Assuming It’s Not About You | INTERSECTIONS — February 25, 2014
[…] The Privilege of Assuming It’s Not About You […]
[links] Link salad is having a good time | jlake.com — February 25, 2014
[…] The Privilege of Assuming It’s Not about You — Haley Morris-Cafiero is an artist, a photographer, and a scorned body. Aware that her appearance attracts disgust and mockery from some, she decided to try to document people’s public disdain. The result is a series of photographs exposing the people who judge and laugh at her. […]
Lynzi — February 25, 2014
@ Anna
Your response just demonstrated the entire point of the article.
Edu_/_rdo — February 25, 2014
Well, apparently people have to react in some way. I mean, it's an stimulus...but why they react so bad? that's the important question. In our mediatized society, being apart of modern society of beauty, make you a weirdo...
Wait Watchers – Photography | Feminist Philosophers — February 25, 2014
[…] Haley Morris-Cafiero published a series of photographs at Salon, which was then picked up by Sociological Images. […]
Japaniard — February 25, 2014
If you honestly believe that every "laugh" and "shared whisper" you hear is a negative reaction to your body, then your biggest issue is that you are so narcissistic that all the actions of everyone around you are believe to be a direct result of your mere presence.
I'd hardly consider this assumption "perfectly reasonable".
Me — February 25, 2014
Click the link, go to her website, read her methodology and look at all the photos, because you might get a different perspective. She sets up a camera and takes hundreds of shots, then picks out the ones where someone is looking "at" her funny. Keep in mind, it looks as though she is standing still in a flow of moving people. They might just be looking at her wondering why she is standing there, or casually glancing at someone in their way. Most of the people in the photos don't look very nasty, and it's debatable whether their looks are even trained on her. I agree that fat people get their share of rude looks and/or comments, but her photos don't really show that. I actually think it's unfortunate that she is making a project of looking for people who *might* be giving her a rude glance. It's a pretty negative and paranoid world view.
Reader — February 25, 2014
I certainly don't believe that people should be mocked because of their weight, but I stop short of equating obesity with difference based on race or disability. Those are traits over which people have no control. By contrast, this lady is able to control her weight; she chooses not to. By her own admission, she was normal-sized until she got to college. Although she has hypothyroidism, that doesn't automatically mean you become obese. There are medications and you have to watch what you eat, while being active.
We live in a society in which being obese is reviled. It's a legitimate health concern. For some people, the repugnance felt when seeing someone obese reinforces their own commitment to stay a normal weight. It's not surprising that there are people who overreact in crude ways. Again, I'm not condoning boorish behavior, but I don't think she's a helpless victim.
ag — February 25, 2014
the idea is interesting, but to illustrate the text you chose the only pictures of hers which actually show that some people noticed her. most of the people in the pictures she's published absolutely does not seem to have noticed her and their face expressions are improbable to have anything to do with her. they just pass by or stay and don't smile. no idea why she thinks it's about her.
Bea — February 25, 2014
Wow, the comments on here are the worst.
I really like this project. As someone with an obvious physical disability, I feel very conspicuous/'looked at' daily. Whether it's negative or sympathetic/pitying, or something else -- it heightens my self-consciousness to epic levels and contributes to my overall vulnerability.
Monica Walker — February 25, 2014
ok just stop it. there is more to this than health and way more to this than anyone here gives credit for. we are a mean and hurtful lot. we critique, we put down and we laugh at what is different. There is victimization here. Some by her choosing some by her weight. the be sty part is that what is here the most is a wonderful example of oneupmanship. support each other, listen and take the truth from what is. OMFG
Monica Walker — February 25, 2014
except that its true. I do not want your truth to change who I am, but it might and I am open to that. I am also open to the fact that what I believe today may not be true tomorrow. that is just the way linear historical western thinking is. If you and I were standing in front of a statue, at different directional vantages we may see very different things. why? because of our view point. if we were looking at a painting that you loved but knew nothing about it historically and I hated it because it had some...oh sordid racist meaning I was privy to. we would both be right in our interpretation. given that time and experience will shade opinions......remember these are all opinion. not empirical facts.
Monica Walker — February 25, 2014
did you just call her fat?
M.A. — February 25, 2014
I was a crippled kid in the 50's; oh yeah, I can really relate to this woman's work. It's amazing how invisible you can feel when people are staring at you. And sure, sometimes it's not about you. But I remember what people used to comment to my mother about me, so lots of times it actually really is.
Slobodan — February 25, 2014
Oh danm, I know that cop in the first pic. He looks like a jerk in the picture, but he's actually pretty cool.
Quib — February 25, 2014
I can't help but wonder why it seems so /important/ to people to audit this woman's experience.
What is it that is so fundamentally threatening or offensive about this person saying "here are my experiences" that it's just imperative to a vocal subset of viewers to interrogate that message and undermine her statement?
Andrew — February 25, 2014
Who, exactly, has the privilege of getting through the day without the suspicion that some aspect of their physical selves might be attracting unwanted attention or derision?
So-called "ugliness" may get singled out for mockery and derision, but beauty also attracts unprovoked contempt and harrassment. Being short, being tall, being unfashionable, being old, being young, being bald, wearing glasses, wearing a uniform, being pregnant, being poor, being fabulously rich and famous - really, just about any ordinary condition of human existence can be a magnet for the kind of attention this artist is attempting to highlight.
Not to dismiss the many forms of privilege that are real and quantifiable, but the privilege spoken of here is one whose very existence depends on an absolutely implausible state of complete normality. What we're left with is not an illustration of skewed privilege or a reliable document of social behaviors, but rather a portrait of how the world looks through the eyes of one person whose lived experience leaves much reason to feel "watched." It's a valuable insight on its own merits, but I think Lisa is trying to preach the wrong lesson from it.
Bagelsan — February 25, 2014
Sounds like when I was feeling particularly depressed and agoraphobic; everyone's thoughts became about me, everyone's looks seemed to say how miserable they knew I was... It was all bullshit of course, and entirely in my head. This woman is not particularly remarkable-looking, and I'd be surprised that anyone would remark her, frankly. Maybe if she weren't just a 30-something-looking white woman in unflattering clothes she'd get some real attention and this project would be more convincing. As it is, perhaps it's not a question of privilege so much as it is that her "oppression" is the weight of her own self-inflicted misery and self-consciousness, just like mine was.
superimperial — February 25, 2014
She should try moving to my town in Australia. She'd fit right in.
analog2000 — February 25, 2014
The thing no one has mentioned is that these are still photographs. If we saw it as video it might be much more obvious what is, or is not, happening. I am reminded of this incident: http://www.asylum.com/2009/07/10/obama-checking-out-girl/.
In the photo it looks like Barack Obama and Nicolas Sarkozy are ogling a woman, but in the video it is clear they are not. If the photographer is taking hundreds of photos, some are going to look like something is happening just by coincidence.
Scott — February 26, 2014
Having read and digested the facts concerning this woman, how she's blatantly set up a camera tripod facing her in public places, how she's purposefully dressed uncomplilmenting to her body type, and how she's stood or sat in one place for ages while the camera (automatic or with a photographer behind it) takes hundreds of photos of her and her surroundings in the sureness that at least one is going to capture someone looking 'wrongly' at her, I'd have to say she's got a problem. Not her size, but rather her psychological state.
Maybe instead of seeing what she's doing as a completely acceptable 'click and shame' project, and saying, "Poor girl. Leave her alone. Bad people for staring," someone could step up to the plate and help her.
Her project depicts 'provoked prejudice', -not- prejudice in its natural form. It captures brief moments of facial expressions from passers-by which could easily be misinterpreted. I was looking at a photo I took of a married couple I know, and the man is frowning and staring at the woman as if he wants to kill her, but I was there and I -know- that wasn't (and isn't) the case at all; it was just bad timing. Our expressions can go through so many changes in mere seconds. What this woman's done is seen what she expected to see. There's no doubt that people -will- stare at her, but more-so because of her purposefully chosen, viciously uncomplimenting attire.
Worth bearing in mind s that all that time spent standing or sitting in one place -could- be spent walking or jogging or swimming - doing something pro-active about her physical weight problem rather than adding more weight to her secondary psychological problem.
I've seen women bigger than her who look great, dress well, and who literally emanate positivity. People get haircuts to compliment their faces, they dress to compliment their body types, they don't draw attention to their shortcomings. If
someone overweight dresses so uncomplimenting, you have to wonder why;
if they hate their bodies, why purposefully dress to go out in public showing every roll of fat? I've got an extra 5-8kgs and a distended belly from not doing enough exercise, so I don't wear tight tops. I should do more exercise. It's my own problem and I'd expect people to stare if I wore a figure-hugging t-shirt over my swollen abdomen.
birdie — February 26, 2014
I know many men and women who are larger. I think that, if she dressed less messy, did her hair and spent some time on her appearance, this wouldn't be an issue. But, she wears clothes that make her look like a mess. I think anyone that dresses like a slob, hair unkempt with no make up is asking to be looked at. And, it is said that she has hundreds of pics taken and then picks out the one that she is being looked at. That's not a fair analysis of how the world treats her.
Forsberg — February 26, 2014
She is such a victim. I mean, there is no way she could lose weight or not look like she allowed a retard to dress her. I am surprised she didnt just flat out compare herself to jews during the holocaust.
Her whole deal is to try to stand out, and she wants us to feel sorry for her when someone gives her a dirty look?
Everyone is trying to make themselves a victim. The only thing she is a victim of is her own narcissism. Sure you could try to lose weight, or look like you spent more than 10 seconds, getting ready in the morning. Sure, you could do that, but its better if you whine.
llee611838 — February 26, 2014
I am an overweight woman, just to give you context. I imagine I'm about the size of this woman. I do not experience odd looks or comments or people trying to shame me. This is not to say that such a thing doesn't exist, it is just not my experience. The woman in this picture is decidedly average looking. I am trying to figure out what about her appearance is supposed to stand out so much that people would openly mock her. In fact, I would expect the opposite-- she would be at much more risk of not being noticed at all. She looks like about 70% of the people I pass in the street each day. With the exception of the police officer, none of people in these photos seems to be mocking her that I perceive. They seem to be reacting to other things. There is a guy having his picture taken with Times Square in the background on a crowded bench, smiling for the camera somewhat in her proximity. If her series was about how not being classically beautiful makes you invisible it might be more on point. It might be a photo series about being sensitive to the idea that you're being judged for your body and how it impacts someone's life, but I don't really see any impact on her in her face.
aquiles baeza vergara — February 26, 2014
ahora resulta que ser gordo es literalmente igualito a ser una minoría. que chido
Larry Charles Wilson — February 26, 2014
A wonderful example of paranoia
Josh H. — February 26, 2014
When did fatness become comparable to race or disability? Things can be done to mitigate one's weight, and if one chooses not to adopt lifestyle practices that encourage the loss of excess weight (as it is their right to do), then learning to deal with social reaction to a deviation from a norm (especially when that deviation implies something about one's health) is necessary. What set of alternatives is this article or the photographic work posing as viable, if any at all? A law governing society's meanies? Fines for those who get caught making fun, or even looking in a way that MIGHT suggest disgust? Or is just telling us what we already knew: That assholes exist?
The world is full of meanies, and it's a fundamentally unfair place that will make everyone in their life feel like shit at some point. Learn to deal, and/or change the things about yourself that you don't like if possible; and fatness, unlike other things, is something that a person can change or mitigate.
(Also, is it not rather conceited to think that strangers passing by who glance at you care about your appearance enough to stop and consider how "disgusting you are"?)
badu — February 27, 2014
It's nice that so many people feel strongly about not judging by appearance. I hope they can show up with this fire when fat people's character, integrity, honesty, courage, commitment etc., are (even to their standards) definitely under attack.
Art Garp — February 27, 2014
I assume that these represent the "worst" reactions? Apart from the cop with his hat hanging above her head, I don't see anything that can't be explained by selectively 'editing' a desired result out of a series of continuous shots. Kind of like those shots of the Smith family appearing to be disgusted by Miley Cyrus. As it turns out, they were freeze frames of normal facial and expression changes that occur every time we smile, yawn, cheer, sneeze, belch.. Anyway, you get the idea. What I don't see here is laughing and pointing. I don't see people making "fat girl" gestures. Heck, for all we know, this person staged herself with the deliberate expectation of getting a reaction. Maybe she was making disgusting noises or being annoyingly loud. Perhaps she plopped herself directly in between the 2 kids capturing their Times Square photo. The last woman's expression seems completely dismissive of the subject. The smile could be for her or it could be in response to a comment made by another companion. The brief glance at a person standing in the middle of the street being photographed by another person will likely cause a moment of distraction where one's eyes might divert over to the subject.
From the evidence provided, I see a cop being juvenile. A woman who may or may not be looking at a subject who may or may not have just dropped a massive fart 2 feet from her. And look, she's not exactly dressed to the nines and in peak physical shape. I can't really see her staring with that level of apparent disgust at the mere image of the subject. In the third photo, I see a person looking down with an expression of "really? That's where you decided to sit" Look at all the space on the bleachers. I would pose that our friend dropped herself into that situation simply to get a response that could be used to support how mean people are. The last photo was silly to even include. Any glance - assuming it was even directed at the subject - can easily be explained away as nothing more than a mere glance.
Here's what pisses me off about this. Of these 10 or so people, only 1 is actually interacting with the subject. Heck, he may have thought he was being funny as he noticed a serious looking lady being photographed. But, apart from him, I see 9 other people who are being labeled as "people who judge and laugh at her" Those may be the nicest, least judgmental people on the planet. We don't get to see the whole story. Only the story she wants us to see. The problem is evident by reading many of the comments to this article. Many are all to ready to stand up and defend this presumed victim without knowing who the real victims are. That's not to say that there aren't bad people in the world. However, in this case, I'm having a hard time not feeling a little bit bad for the alleged "disdainers" as they are now branded as such and are enshrined for all eternity on the internet. Personally, I'd be talking to my lawyer about my legal options.
Remember Haley, a published false statement that is damaging to a person's reputation is called libel. When you call someone alleging that they insulted or ridiculed you, that's a serious matter. You might want to consider the multiple lives your little "expose" may have impacted. I certainly hope the few moments of internet fame are worth it.
Whatever happened to the shutdown promises? (5×8 -2/28/14) | NewsCut | Minnesota Public Radio News — February 28, 2014
[…] But sociologist Dr. Lisa Wade questioned whether the photos are legit. Maybe, she writes, people were reacting to something else and weren’t that interested in the photographer. Still, she says, the exercise may serve a larger illustrative purpose. […]
Renee — March 1, 2014
To Bill R: You’re #1 point about finding it hard to believe that people can be that cruel shows that you don’t know how it is to be severely teased. How would you explain the suffering going on around the world if people can’t be that cruel? Just because the pictures don’t show African warlords or soldiers from a brown country doesn’t mean that it can be hard to find it cruel. White men from America in a city like yours can (like other people in this whole world) be that cruel.
To the commenter, Me:
“I actually think it's unfortunate that she is making a project of looking for people who *might* be giving her a rude glance. It's a pretty negative and paranoid world view.”
You’re right. But keep in mind that people that have been pushed far can get pretty paranoid. It’s just true. It’s unfair that someone has to be exposed to excessive amounts of teasing by peers and the media. It creates in them the judgment of self. First, it was outside influence that harmed her. Now, her worst enemy is probably her. Those (who have been harshly harmed by outside influence) have a little extra work of personal growth to overcome. It makes them a better person in the long run though. But, still, it’s very hard.
Learning to dress “professionally” in a white man’s world — March 4, 2014
[…] Women and people of color are still largely underrepresented within corporate culture, and particularly within positions of power. For women who may be one of the few people of their identity in their workplace–and therefore probably face regular micro-agressions–wearing the wrong clothing can compound these feelings of isolation. Even if the problem is not their identity, being one of the few women, or people of color, or queer or disabled people in the office means that you don’t really have the privilege of assuming it’s not about you. […]
Is it white men’s fault that feminists have such a hard time getting dressed in the morning? | Sunshine Mary — March 6, 2014
[…] Women and people of color are still largely underrepresented within corporate culture, and particularly within positions of power. For women who may be one of the few people of their identity in their workplace–and therefore probably face regular micro-agressions–wearing the wrong clothing can compound these feelings of isolation. Even if the problem is not their identity, being one of the few women, or people of color, or queer or disabled people in the office means that you don’t really have the privilege of assuming it’s not about you. […]
Tesettur Giyim Trend | The Privilege of Assuming It’s Not About You — March 7, 2014
[…] post originally appeared on Sociological Images, a Pacific Standard partner […]
Deanna Szuter — April 18, 2014
“I actually think it's unfortunate that she is making a project of looking for people who *might* be giving her a rude glance. It's a pretty negative and paranoid world view.”
Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not after you ~ Kirk Cobain
Fatphobia: A Guide for the Disbeliever | Miss Kitty Stryker — April 25, 2014
[…] a fat person you’re insulted pretty regularly. This image with the cop is just one example. There’s the tanning salon who refused fat people service. There’s […]
Fatphobia: A Guide for the Disbeliever | TOTALENTER10 — May 5, 2014
[…] including by professionals. As a fat person you’re insulted pretty regularly. This image with the cop is just one example. There’s the tanning salon who refused fat people service. There’s […]
Angela Meadows — May 5, 2014
I am a biomedical scientist by training and currently a doctoral-level weight stigma researcher. When this photographic series was first out last year, I admit to thinking a lot of these things - that person could have been laughing at anything; maybe they're staring at her because she's filming in the street; that kind of thing. It didn't live up to my expectations of the scientific method. To me, that meant it's very existence harmed the real struggle to do something about weight stigma. This piece has really stopped me in my tracks. Thank you for making me rethink my many privileges.
Big Joe — May 5, 2014
I'm fat. No one mocks me. At least behind my back. I get called names....but for other stuff. . Kinda stupid for friends or enemies to go with the most obvious. "Really? I'm fat? Really? No shit."
Her problem is she is fat, dumpy and tries (and succeeds) at looking ugly. She also dresses in a strange manner and behaves oddly in congested areas...... This is contrived nonsense.
She is probably quite beautiful, dresses well and is not dumpy. Hell, with that trifecta, I'd mock her too!
Fatphobia: A Guide For The Disbeliever | sexynewz.com — May 6, 2014
[…] a fat person you’re insulted pretty regularly. This image with the cop is just one example. There’s the tanning salon who refused fat people service. There’s […]
Fatphobia: A Guide For The Disbeliever | — May 6, 2014
[…] a fat person you’re insulted pretty regularly. This image with the cop is just one example. There’s the tanning salon who refused fat people service. There’s the […]
Pete McCutchen — May 7, 2014
Leaving aside whether these images "prove" she is taunted and harassed on the street due to her weight and appearance, what I find amazing is that this woman is actually a professor who teaches photography. As photographs, they just aren't very good. There's nothing aesthetically or photographically interesting about them -- lousy composition, no sense of light. Take away her whole conceptual schtick and there's nothing there.
billpayor — May 7, 2014
She demonstrated you get what you expect. None of the people in the pictures are really looking at her. But if that is what she wanted to capture, she achieved her goal. Rather true or not!
Street Harassment of Dwarfs: What You Can Do | Painting On Scars — September 14, 2014
[…] This is what sociologist Lisa Wade has called the burden of not being able to assume it’s not about you. This is a burden most people who are visible minorities carry with them. In a review of a street photography project by an artist regularly harassed for being fat, Wade explains: […]
Fatphobia: 5 Facts and a Guide for the Disbeliever — Everyday Feminism — October 19, 2014
[…] This image with the cop is just one example. […]
Noel Veva — November 4, 2014
Comment section overflowing with chronic 'not getting it' syndrome as usual.
Sad.
R — October 9, 2017
Your grievances as a fat person may be legitimate but are in no way comparable to the systematic oppression that is Racism. Fat is not the new black. Get over yourself.
obamareal — February 13, 2020
hi im obama, i am aware that you are stupid, good day
cats mcgee — November 29, 2022
She looks normal maybe one of the photos is mocking her or the camera, but the rest just look like people reacting to things and conversations around them before taking a glance at the woman standing in the middle of the street in the flow of crowds.
Honestly this woman looks like me and most other people I see. I feel bad for the people that were just in the wrong place and she's coming out and saying, "look at this person who judges me. These people are wrong to do so" while standing in the middle of a crowded intersection.
dencer — September 10, 2024
I presume, though I have never seen any evidence for this, that we don’t all get the same email forwards. 推特账号购买