Abby W. let us know about a disturbing scene in this week’s episode of the TV show Gossip Girl. The scene depicts an interaction between two individuals, Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf, who have turned into one of the show’s anchor couples that fans root for, always ending up together again despite their on-again off-again nature. In this episode, they’re off again and Blair has been dating someone else (a prince, of course). According to Zap 2 It, earlier in the episode, Chuck apparently humiliated Blair by talking about their prior sexual escapades in front of her boyfriend’s mother. She then goes to Chuck’s penthouse to tell him that her boyfriend has proposed to her, leading to this scene (warning: though he doesn’t hit her, if you’re sensitive to images of violence, you may want to skip the video):
So after publicly humiliating her by referring to her sexual past, Chuck tells Blair “you’re mine” and that she can’t be with anyone else, grabs her and throws her onto the sofa, and when she reiterates that it’s over, he ends up punching a window and injuring her with flying glass. And yet, in an interview with E!, one of Gossip Girl‘s executive producers says that this shouldn’t been seen as abusive behavior. In fact, if there’s anyone to be worried about, it’s Chuck:
I think it’s very clear that Blair is not afraid in those moments, for herself. They have a volatile relationship, they always have, but I do not believe—or I should say we do not believe—that it is abuse when it’s the two of them. Chuck does not try to hurt Blair. He punches the glass because he has rage, but he has never, and will never, hurt Blair. He knows it and she knows it, and I feel it’s very important to know that she is not scared—if anything, she is scared for Chuck—and what he might do to himself, but she is never afraid of what he might do to her.
More importantly, whether or not Blair supposedly feels frightened is irrelevant to whether this behavior is, in fact, abusive. But disturbingly, after discussing this scene, the interviewer goes on to say:
Ah, Chuck…He’s such a classic romantic hero, like Rhett Butler, sort of strong enough that you can stretch him pretty far.
…
He’s always had that Gothic thing, and those guys are always imbued with a dark side in addition to their vulnerability about their girlfriends.
It’s a disturbing example of the way that controlling and violent behavior by men toward the women in their lives is often depicted as evidence of passion that the female character totally accepts (they just “have a volatile relationship,” so it’s “not abuse when it’s the two of them”). Chuck’s repeated mistreatment of Blair (apparently last season he promised his uncle he could have sex with Blair as part of a business deal) is excused (he’s drunk, and really upset about whatever he learned about his family!), and in fact, his inappropriate behavior is romanticized by the executive producer and the interviewer. A man who publicly humiliates his girlfriend, uses her sexuality as a pawn in business deals, and leaves her injured from flying glass when he finds out he’s losing control over her (not to mention tried to force a 14-year-old girl to have sex with him in the very first episode of the show, back before we were supposed to find him lovable) is still referred to as a “classic romantic hero” who should not be seen as abusive or scary.
In fact, the promo for next week’s episode reinforces the message that Chuck is acting like this because he needs Blair so much that he falls apart without her, and individuals with nefarious plans are intentionally using this knowledge to get to him. So Chuck isn’t abusive; he’s a fragile victim who just loves Blair too much for his own good:
This is particularly disturbing given that the show is popular among teens, many of whom experience abuse in their relationships but are unsure how to deal with it or whether it “counts” as abuse. These types of representations of normalize such behavior, excusing the men who engage in it and giving the message to women that being treated in such a way isn’t a major warning sign but, rather, evidence of a man’s deep passion and vulnerability.
Comments 67
Diana — May 4, 2011
I'm a Gossip Girl watcher, and while I'm worried about the producer's view of this scene, I don't think Chuck's violent behavior is romanticized in the show. He's never been violent to Blair in the past, and she's a strong, ambitious female character who wants more than just to be with Chuck. She recognizes that their relationship is not healthy and she's rejected him due to his behavior. If they do get back together, it'll be the result of Chuck properly reforming himself, not Blair accepting that that's just the way he is. His behavior is making fans deviate from the formerly untouchable Blair/Chuck pairing; they recognize that this is not a relationship they should aspire to.
I think it's more worrying that the depiction of Chuck here is actually a "classic romantic hero" in some romance novels. Specifically I can think of Judith McNaught's bestseller Whitney, My Love, where the hero raped the woman he loved out of jealousy and she falls apart until they get back together. She never considers other options and she has no ambition to do anything except for get back together with him. In contrast, Blair and Chuck break up so she can work on her career and becoming powerful in her own right, dating other people when she recognizes that Chuck hasn't grown up yet. Gossip Girl presents other possibilities for the heroine, while many romance novels present the abusive leading man as the highest prize the heroine could obtain, which I find much more problematic.
Samantha C — May 4, 2011
I can't help finding parallels to Twilight, especially given that Gossip Girl is supposed to be for a young teen audience. It can be pretty scary to really sit and think about what is being treated as romantic and acceptable.
Sophie — May 4, 2011
I've only seen the first episode, but it still sticks out in my mind. In it, Chuck takes Jenny up to the roof to rape her. He's thwarted, but he's angry about it.
Amy — May 4, 2011
I wish I could agree with you Diana, but Blair has made such strong speeches about needing to be rid of Chuck before only to go back to him, without so much as a proper apology.
Thanks for this excellent piece.
Zara — May 4, 2011
Punching glass, even if it is not a physical attack on the person, leaves that person in no doubt that they have angered the puncher, and that the puncher is demonstrating their ability to damage them - _should they choose to_
That the puncher doesn't make that choice this time, in no way reduces the threat inherent in it.
syd — May 4, 2011
I do think that domestic violence is marketed as sexy or romantic to teens. I have no idea WHY, but it's been around for a while (Rhett Butler, as mentioned). And it definitely sinks in to at least some teenage girls, to the point where many idealize fictional abusive relationships that AREN'T supposed to be positive or romantic. On the youtube video for the part of the movie "Heathers" where the Christian Slater's character pushes and slams Winona Ryder's character around quite violently, the comments are disturbing. The point of the movie was not that "Jason loves Veronica SOOOOOOOOO much," yet that is what a lot of young teenage commenters got from the movie, specifically that scene. Several expressed a wish that they could meet a guy like him.....despite the fact that the character is abusive towards his girlfriend and downright murderous to people he doesn't like. I really can't understand why that is, but we see it everywhere (how many young girls flew to Chris Brown's defense that "girls from the Islands are crazy! She deserved it!" when Rhianna was covered in bruises?).
Beccy — May 4, 2011
There was a really good British drama called ‘Secret Smile’, in which David Tennant (a very pretty man with large female fan base) plays a stalker and gives a very scary performance doing so. You can watch the whole thing on youtube, but the comments are just disturbing. The character’s actions are clearly beyond redemption but people seem determined to find nuances or rational, or place the blame on the female. I don’t want to give away any plot points but serious, but these are not small things and there really isn’t much room for alternative interpretation, the fact people try is really mind bending...
This seems to be due to the fact that there the stalker is in this case a nice looking man. It would be interesting to see when the abuse is meant to be romanticised whether the audience would be as forgiving if the guilty party was not conventionally attractive. I doubt not...
S. Elle — May 4, 2011
If I was Blair, I'd be terrified if someone I cared about punched a window over my head and screamed that I belonged to him. Abuse can escalate from events like this to physical pain. The fact that he grabbed her and held her down is horrifying. I find nothing romantic about the way he has the past worked to control her, undermined her, lied to her, drunk himself repeatedly into oblivion, tried to rape Jenny, and now this. I also find her lies, spying, and mischief to be disgusting in a relationship, but I can't say it's escalated to abuse.
I have to agree that I find it frustrating that the idealized pop culture relationships are ones like this and Twilight. It's taken me years into my adulthood to whitewash and recreate my ideas of what a healthy relationship is, and that's only after leaving a relationship with a partner who turned abusive. She didn't hit me, but she yelled -- much like Chuck -- especially when drunk, stole money from me, and lied often. I feared her unchecked temper. Seeing that in Blair and Chuck is not something I want romanticized.
Also, the reference to Rhett Butler is telling. Does anyone else remember this scene (which WB calls "Taken By Force") -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTw6ZLYudPc&NR=1&feature=fvwp . Rhett fights with her, overpowers her, and carries her upstairs to force her into having sex. I call that rape. If that's Chuck's model, his behavior is not surprising.
m — May 4, 2011
It makes me think of the TvTropes description of the Byronic hero: a mostly vile person that women are supposed to swoon over anyway, because it's part of the romantic ideal. It's one of those things that seem so closely tied to romanticism and that era, yet it seems to be a tool that comes out of the box even today. Just goes to show how far we've come..
Amadi — May 4, 2011
I can't help but think of the other teen sensation show, Glee. Will Schuster, our conflicted but beloved hero, engaged in an unquestionable act of domestic violence against his wife at the end of the first season, grabbing her and screaming in her face. The response to this was overwhelming in its positioning of his behavior as justified because his wife had lied to him for several months about being pregnant, and she was "crazy" and "manipulative" and "a bitch."
Domestic violence prevention programs which attempt to teach women, especially young women, that there's never an excuse for a partner to act aggressively or violently toward them -- whether they touch them aggressively or not -- used to be bolstered by entertainment, especially that geared toward young people. Now it seems as though those messages are being actively thwarted by teen-marketed programming, which is very alarming, especially when we know that at least 30% of teens report violence within a dating relationship.
Robert — May 4, 2011
I've watched this show since it started but I'm stopping now. People can try to candy coat it, but Chuck is abusive. He is violent, psychologically abusive, territorial, and possessive. He is also a raging bore.
What depresses me as much is seeing a character portrayed as intelligent as Blair constantly allowing herself to be denigrated and controlled and made to look absurd by Chuck.
Interestingly, the previous two episodes had seen the ratings go up, entirely because of the buzz generated by the truly respectful, healthy friendship Blair had developed with Dan. A friendship built on shared interests, great conversation, and a respect for each other's intelligence.
But once it became obvious that nothing was going to be done with the great Dan-Blair relationship, viewers deserted the show in droves. 25% fewer people watched the most recent episode, demonstrating graphically that people are EXHAUSTED with the stupid, abusive relationships that they choose to prioritize over the healthy, funny, respectful ones.
This bad show managed to get worse.
Linsey — May 5, 2011
Relationships with people who hurt themselves when they are mad - or who threaten suicide - don't necessarily need to feel like *you* might be hurt to be scary. If you care about someone, knowing that they might hurt or kill themselves when they are angry is totally abusive and crazy-making.
cee — May 5, 2011
I didn't watch the early seasons of this, and I don't watch it religiously, but even from casual viewing, it is clear that neither Blair, nor Chuck in particular is a good person. They fill really interesting roles skirting between villains and protagonists, but I often wonder why their friends keep putting up with them.
So, while the scene certainly shows unpleasant behavior, I wouldn't say that it is being excused. In fact, I see it as more of an example of 'these are the sorts of things that bad people do which make them bad people'.
Blair may or may not put up with it, but she's a complex character who makes good and bad decisions for good and bad reasons - that's what makes drama interesting. I seriously worry about anyone holding her behavior up as an example to emulate.
Marianne — May 5, 2011
Even if Blair isn't afraid for herself but instead afraid for Chuck, as the show's producer states, it doesn't change the fact that this outburst is controlling behavior and can be abusive in itself when attached to an intimate relationship. It's coercive. It's a blantant statement, to my mind, that he can't control his anger, who knows what he will do (even if just to himself), and don't forget, Blair, you could have prevented all of it if you just dated him whether you wanted to or not. It's the same as the "If you leave me, I'll hurt/kill myself" mentality that so often keeps victims living with an abuser's rage because they really do care about what happens to their partner. I believe this scene absolutely has the hallmarks of abuse in it, exactly for the reasons that the producer of the show says that it shouldn't: "if anything, she is scared for Chuck—and what he might do to himself".
Emily — May 5, 2011
I don't think that a guy who breaks stuff but never hurts anyone is necessarily abusive but from the one episode I've seen of this show, Blair and Chuck's relationship is super creepy and he's scary. I'm 25 now and I think maybe when I was a teenager I might have found it somewhat intriguing while also disturbing but now it just seems stupid and over-dramatic. I'm glad to see that sort of thing holds no appeal to me any more.
mars — May 5, 2011
Grab was mildly abusive. Window smash , reckless and cause for concern but not abusive.
ismer — May 5, 2011
whoa!!! it's amazing what a rabid fanbase can do!
not only can they scare actors into saying they ship an obviously unhealthy fictional relationship, they can also make an executive producer give the term "abuse" a whole new meaning! because, of course, when it's chuck and blair, when it's the two of them, it's not abuse. what the wuck???
it goes to show just how low these GG producers and writers think of their audience. but then, who could blame them for thinking all their audience are stupid? after all, the aforementioned fanbase actually believes (surprisingly until now) that scheming, manipulating, lying, cheating, selling/trading/whoring out and mentally, emotionally, physically abusing one's girlfriend, equates to passionate, epic, meant-to-be love. *shudders*
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