I think there's a point to me made here, but I also think it's good to point out that fat women really don't escape being objectified. There's a twitter tag #thingsfatpeoplearetold that's been collecting comments that fat people receive, and plenty of them are plenty objectifying. Collected here - http://red3.blogspot.com/2011/04/thingsfatpeoplearetold-first-24-hours.html

It's not on that list, but I distinctly remember "Fat girls give good head because they're so hungry."

It's kind of the worst of both worlds. Women can face just as much nastiness for failing to conform to the beauty norm as they can from being "complimented" for following it. So while I'm sure there are women who believe they'll be ignored if they gain weight, I think it should be mentioned that it doesn't actually work that way for most people.

While I'm not intending to deny or dismiss the idea that this sort of thing DOES happen (folks gaining weight in order to avoid certain kinds of attention)...

I gotta say I'm pretty sick of this trope being presented as a benefit. I can't see how "gaining weight in order to protect oneself from being considered attractive" is anything resembling positive for the people doing it. "Functional", maybe, but still built on a foundation of fat = disgusting, and if people believe that fat = disgusting then chances are pretty good they hate their bodies. Body hatred? Not a benefit of being fat.

Obviously, the REAL benefits of being fat vary from person to person, but for me they are: feeling healthy, being incredibly attractive to my partner, being soft, being able to swim comfortably in colder water (like a seal!), being part of a community of folks who've realized that hating your body is ridiculous and are actively fighting cultural oppression through radical self love...I could go on. :)

I understand that this may be true for some fat people, but I can say as someone who has dealt with weight and body image issues her entire adult life, it is definitely not true for everyone. As the prior commenter indicates, body hatred is incredibly damaging psychologically and not beneficial no matter how you slice it.

I think this also seems to suggest that only thin/thinner/not-viewed-as-fat women are seen as sexual objects. I have come to learn through personal experience that there are a huge number of people out there who are sexually and emotionally attracted to larger women and men.

Therefore, fat people are completely eligible for a sexual gaze; the conversation about this attraction is what may not be eligible for social acceptance since we're "supposed" to only desire the thin/thinner/not-viewed-as-fat portion of the population.

"But if fat makes a person socially ineligible for the sexual gaze . . . "

I can't say that I've found this to be the case.

What I *have* found, is that it makes a woman socially ineligible for *love* -- i.e., the fullness of a mutually fulfilling, long-term partnership. Fat women generally receive a fair bit of sexual attention, it just tends to be of an objectifying sort, devoid of meaning and depth.

I wouldn't use a Post Secret confession as any sort of definitive evidence of anything, but as best as I understand anorexia/bulimia - which is that it's about control (correct me if I'm grossly wrong here) - the reasons in that confession are hauntingly familiar.

Grrrr. This sounds very much like garbage Susie Orbach reasoning to me. The fetish genre of fat porn exists for a reason. While it may not be socially acceptable to admit to finding fat women's bodies sexually exciting, this does not mean that this desire does not exist. It's interesting how we seem to be pretty good at finding all the weaknesses in empirically-unsupported psycholanalytic explanations for human behavior when it comes to everything *but* fat and fatness.

Can you not spout fat-phobic crap? Being fat has had zero impact on whether or not people perceive me to be sexually or romantically attractive. The only thing that has ever had a bearing on this is whether or not *I* want to be perceived in a sexual or romantic manner. If I don't, I don't get a lot of that sort of attention; if I do, I get plenty. I really expected something much better from a blog that purports to be sociologically minded. This is just a continuation of the bullshit I hear daily from typical media sources and I expect better when I look at alternative media. Thanks for that. No, really, thanks.

"Women who find men’s sexual attention especially disturbing or scary, sometimes report gaining weight on purpose."

They may *report* this, but that's quite different from this being an objective fact. Given that (a) a significant proportion of the population is naturally fat, and (b) research shows that it takes an *enormous* caloric intake for most naturally not-fat people to sustain a significantly higher weight, it's probable that, barring an extreme compulsive eating disorder, most women who explain their fatness in this way would be fat regardless.

Even more importantly, we know that girls who are fat and, therefore, develop secondary sexual characteristics early, are very often the targets of sexual harassment and abuse. So, it stands to reason that women who "find men's sexual attention especially disturbing" because of a history of abuse will, statistically, be more likely to be women who are also fat.

When I was in high school and about 75 pounds overweight, every summer I would attempt a diet plan. Even though I really wanted to lose weight, I would also worry that if I did lose a noticeable amount that people would mention it or ask me about it. The thought of people looking at or talking about my body, even in a positive "good for you!" way scared the hell out of me. The diets never worked, so I don't know how I would have felt if I actually had lost weight and people commented on it. The point of this is that I can understand this mentality. I wouldn't call it a "benefit" of being fat, but I'm sure some fat people -- even if they are trying to lose weight -- are also afraid of what the change might bring.

When I first read this post, it rang true for me. I used to be fat, and when I lost weight (due to the discovery of a previously unknown gastrointestinal issue) I felt like there was a part of me that was now on display.

I felt the same way when I developed breasts. It was traumatizing for me because it implied I was "becoming a woman" and that as a woman I was now expected to be a symbol of sexuality.

In my opinion, this post speaks less about body hatred and more about the idea that some women internalize the constant pressure of being told they are only of value if they are sexually inviting through an unconscious or conscious refusal to conform to what is promoted as sexually desirable in the mainstream.

While I would have worded a couple things differently and clarified this in the post, the main sentiment is true for my past experiences, and as mentioned, true for others as well.

Wow. Really? What a privileged post this is. Here's the thing, although fat is deemed socially unacceptable and fat bodies are deemed asexual, that doesn't stop rape and sexual assault. That's because rape and sexual assault and inappropriate sexual advances are not about sex. They are about power. And that post secret image? Really? "Being judged as sexually-unacceptable, in this scenario, is less terrifying than being judged as simply unacceptable." Yeah, that's not a benefit from fat. In fact, it's reinscribing fat hate rhetoric.

This post irritated me.

How is acknowledging the benefits of being fat any different than pointing out the benefits of being skinny, or being in-between? It’s reducing a person down to appearance. In any other case, pointing these out would promote outrage. Saying one’s appearance has benefits/drawbacks continues to promote the idea of certain sizes are less or more good than others.

Also, fat doesn’t make a person socially ineligible for the sexual gaze. The gaze happens regardless of size, as I have personally witnessed. [One could even bring up the instances of fetishes.] The sexual gaze is used by men not always to pursue a mate, so being larger would not pardon you from it. In many cases [although not all] heterosexual men use this as a means of gender construction to publicly decry they are not homosexual by showing attraction to females. The girl objectified is not necessarily the prime target or the prize to be won; she’s just a playing piece.

The only benefits of being any size should be the ones you make. People should benefit from being themselves and taking pride in their positive attributes. By pointing out body-centric benefits, it’s blatantly stating that drawbacks exist...you can’t have one without the other. It’s unfortunate that this is still being focused on.

This is the worst entry yet. First off, fat people have sex, a lot of sex, despite being 'fat'. Fat has nothing to do with it. The fat people are often laughing at the people who think fat people do not get any attention.

For most people, being 'fat' is not a choice. Accumulation of fat on one's body is not a mental illness no matter how hard some people want to make it into one. There are many factors at play and you will be hard pressed to find a fat person who has not tried very hard to lose weight. Skinny does not equal morality or health.

There may be a population of people who purposely gain weight in order to keep sexual advances away, but this is NOT generalisable.

Additionally, the current ideal supermodel thin (or super fit) is not a healthy weight for conceiving and bringing babies to term. There is a reason why women do not menstruate unless they have a minimum percentage of body fat.

The comments on this post are ridiculous. Pointing out that some women absorb messages of fat-hatred and feel that they gain a beneficial function from their fat of being not objectified is NOT a fat-hating thing to do. Nor does calling someone's personal twisting of an oppressive force (fatphobia) a benefit to them mean that we are saying it is not problematic in any sense.

If this post had included the line "of course, nobody finds fat people attractive, so these women's feelings are logically bulletproof. Who knows what those crazy deluded fatties who think they are worthy of sexual attention are smoking", I would understand the anger. But even if these women's feelings don't make sense when examined, they are a method that has been chosen by the women to try and cope with the twin forces of patriarchy and fat-hatred that is of sociological interest.

Next there will be a post on how some people with anorexia are motivated by the desire to receive less sexual attention or to delay the physical signs of puberty (including secondary sex characteristics, for young trans people with anorexia), and the comments will be filled with an outcry about how the post generalizes about anorexics and suggests thin people are not sexually desired. When a post talks about how SOME people absorb oppressive messages about beauty norms and body-policing and have an unusual reaction to them, your first instinct should not be to make it all about YOU unless the post specifically addresses a group you belong to. If you're a sassy body-confident young fat woman, good for you. This post isn't about you and your experiences.

I'm afraid your evidence does not seem to support your conclusion. As the #thingsfatpeoplearetold meme demonstrates, fat people are told all manner of things and given the existing social structure, many fat people feel an obligation to be credulous. The lesbian quoted did not independently think she gained weight to distance herself from male attraction, but rather was told to think that. Even in that context, it is not a suggestion of an active instigation, but rather a psychological explanation. The fact that we feel the need to psychologically explain the existence of fat people, though, is far more telling. It is an effort for privileged persons to rationalize the existence of an underprivileged group. This very act is one not of understanding, but of enforcement of stigmatization. Fat people are told something must be blamed for our presence. This is never an act of respect. It does not matter of blame is laid on ourselves for perceived immoralities, on psychological desires rooted in formalizing our disempowerment, or corporate conspiracies to deprive us of exalted thinness.

The Postsecret post is, at least, in the actual voice of a fat person, but it still doesn't tell us anything about why she came to be fat and it is still a reflection of all too common clichés that fat people are told. The writer has learned to hold herself responsible for her body. She has been told to explain her body, to rationalize it. She presumes that she could be thin because she has been told this is the only allowed presumption a fat person can have. She frames her attempted justification not on why she is fat, but why she is not thin. THIS is what fat people are told to answer for just as much as "why are you so fat". It presumes that weight loss, which fails 95% of the time, is still expected of us and any failure to lose weight is the sole responsibility of the fat person. She is not expressing an answer as to why she was fat in the first place, though. Rather, she is trying to answer for her continued fatness. The truth, though, is that she is not afraid to lose weight. She may be afraid that weight loss won't solve her problems (it won't), but she is not afraid to lose weight. She wants it desperately. She, like so many fat people, has been made to feel personally responsible for the fact that her weight loss efforts have not succeeded. Like many others, she has apologetically concluded "she doesn't want it bad enough".

This isn't about benefits of fatness. These are illustrations of the shame and stigmatization imposed on fat people.

sometimes report gaining weight on purpose.

Citation needed. Outside of this Postsecret image, which is not a representative pool of data, I am not seeing any statistics presented. Considering how crazy with graphs this website gets when any data on their US-centric topics is presented, I am disappointed in the lack of anything provided here. More information, please.

Being fat, they hope, will protect them from being looked at, unwanted touching, and sexual assault.

Which we all know is factually wrong, and therefore not an actual benefit.

but the fear that you would not be lovable, even if thin.

Again, factually wrong, and therefore not an actual benefit.

As for the quote:
You know, I remember thinking one time, maybe one of the reasons I’m overweight is so that men would not be attracted to me, because I knew that I wasn’t attracted to them.

It's also riddled with factual holes. 1) The lesbian woman in question was relying on the assumption that gaining or losing weight was an achievable control in her life, which, seriously, I highly doubt, given the mountain of facts we have access to in regards to the reality of fat people and weight. 2) This statement is present as independent fact outside of the obvious heteronormative pressures placed on women to believe certain myths about themselves and their bodies which again, shows a sad lack of analysis of the topic at hand compared to actual data we have in regards to patriarchal modes of body-image control in women. One has to question female agency here or else one is not seriously taking into consideration all the factors in play. The FA movement is very young and is still finding its feet, so it is unlikely fat people over a certain age and/or demographic have had anything other than society's detremental messages regading fat and heteronormativity flying at them for 99% of their lives.

So this post should not be called "The Benefits of Being Fat", it should be called, "Misinformed Fat People and Perceptions of Rigid Heteronormative Relationship Hierarchies"

There are some benefits to being fat in my experience. I am a person who does not "carry my weight well," I often feel like I am the most unattractive form of fat, at least in women- as I am very top-heavy, disproportionate (thin arms and legs, no ass to speak of) with a somewhat masculinized face due to a very thick neck. I have received sexual attention from exactly one person in my 32 years of life, despite being very much desiring of it, and I don't think it's a coincidence that it was when I was at my thinnest.

However, because of this, I feel it makes it much easier for me to have great friendships with guys. Not initially, of course- when I meet new men they usually go out of their way to ignore me (I guess to make sure I don't "get any ideas," *eyeroll*) but once they get to know me I am considered "one of them." I understand that this is a sad sort of female exceptionalism, but I am simply not treated like other women. I am often taken much more seriously, and many men who are otherwise pretty sexist will say that I'm the smartest and/or funniest person they know. I really don't feel as much of a victim of sexism, when I read feminist blogs I often find myself not relating to the experiences described at all- I have never once in my life feared rape or felt objectified. It's almost like I've been able to have the best of both worlds when it comes to gender; it's even been easier to have close female friendships because there's never that element of jealousy that often comes into play (at least on their end ;)) I know that the "benefits" I enjoy are mostly due to living in a sexist and fat-phobic society, but they are there, nonetheless.

I would just like to add some thoughts based on my own personal experience. My father began molesting me beginning at age 12, which continued for many years. I was also raped by two doctors when I was 22. I was thin and attractive, and, in those days (the sixties) when these things were not discussed, when there were no books or support groups or Oprah, I turned the blame partially on myself as so many victims of sexual abuse do. Right or wrong, I believed that the abuse would not have happened if I had not been attractive in some way to these men, and part of that attraction lay in my thin body (some of this is based on what these men said to me.)

In adulthood, I have gained and lost weight over and over. One thing I have discovered is that men, such as my ex-husband, and two ex-boyfriends, lost interest in me sexually due to weight gain. This is not a guess, they all told me repeatedly how unattractive they found me at a heavier weight. As an attractive woman, I have seen male attention wax and wane based on how much weight I was carrying. I have had men not notice me at all at a heavier weight, then not only notice me but want to date me after I have lost that weight. This can partially be attributed to how I felt about myself and how I put myself out there, but it also was very much due to the reality of these men not finding me attractive due to my weight.

The message I have internalized all my life is that thin is attractive and men will look at me and pursue me if I am thin, and that being overweight is unattractive and men will not look at me and will not pursue me if I am fat. This is not just my thought process, it has been my experience.

Due to the earlier abuse, I have had always had mixed reactions to being looked at by men, some times I liked it, but some times I found it extremely threatening. The abuse by the doctors, which was never addressed, became an issue when I was 45, when they made the news for having molested many women over the years. It was not really real to me until that time, and I went through a lot of delayed trauma. I became even more uncomfortable around men, and I began to gain weight, a lot more than I ever had before. Due to the trauma, I started the merry-go-round of psych drugs, including Zyprexa, one of the more notorious weight-gaining drugs, that caused me to gain 20 pounds in one month. I am heavier now than I ever thought I could be. I am not happy being heavy like this, it is uncomfortable, I cannot find clothes to fit, and I feel ugly.

But I also feel safe. I feel safe from men. They do not look at me. They do not pursue me. If anything, they look at me with disgust. I have traded the male gaze for the hostile you-disgusting-fat-pig gaze, which is equal among men, women and children, and which is not pleasant, but it does not change the fact that I FEEL SAFE.

Am I safe? Of course not. My logical mind says I am not safe. But the unconscious me, the one who has lived the life set out above, does believe it, and feels it intensely. When I think about losing weight, it is there, that fear, and it truly is a thought process that makes me feel question the desire to lose weight. I don't want men looking at me like that, not ever again. It is not safe.

I identify with the women quoted in this article, and I know other women do too. And just a note, everything above is incredibly simplified, it is far more complex, with so many other factors involved. But the gist of it is reality for me.

I've experienced very little sexual harassment in my life, which I attribute to an "invisible" appearance (not too conventionally attractive or unattractive) combined with race and class privilege. My fatness is part of that invisibility, but I doubt it would be much protection on its own.

I've occasionally considered the idea that I benefit from a weeding out effect that my unconventionally attractive body has on potential partners. I don't get approached often, but when it does happen, it's usually someone who has gotten to know me and who I get along with well. But I don't know for sure if this is really because of my weight, or if other factors are involved. And sometimes I still feel like I would rather be approached more often; I go back and forth on this.

Other benefits of being fat? Well, I save a lot of money because window shopping almost never results in impulse clothing purchases. (I'm joking. Sort of.) I'm having a hard time coming up with benefits. For the most part, it's just downside after downside - socially at least. (I have a BMI over 40 and do not experience my weight as a physical disability.) I work past the downsides to have a social life and a love life and clothing I'm happy with and so on, but that doesn't change the fact that our society rewards thinness, not fatness.

Fat is not safety padding.

it's not always physical attraction that "appeals" molesters. i'd say it's quite often weakness,low self-esteem, a lack of power, helplessness and anxiety because i think that rape/sexual harassment is a lot about power. i've made the experience that many men who aren't even rapists but have borderline desires if you ask me, often seek those feelings.
to think that becoming fat and therefore unattractive will prevent you from abuse is clearly false. well i've been there too. i couldn't stand male attention as a child and teenager and saw a benefit in my weight gain. i would not say that it caused me gaining weight, it just encouraged me to some extent.
the funny thing is that it was exactly when i was at my chubbiest and grossest when i got harassed. i had a round chubby face and a huge belly, not curvy or anything, but i was in a situation of dependence and fear.
losing weight made me lose every curve i ever had. i still don't feel comfortable with the way i look but when i notice sleazy guys walking behind me i always feel such a relief in knowing that i got no ass. and even this non-existing butt gets grabbed a lot when i go out.
the sad part is that despite my constant escape of male gaze i always had struggles with my appearance as i've been constanlty pursuing beauty and felt very depressed that i never got the attention of the people i wanted to attract.

if you ask me, it does not depend on your looks whether you get assaulted or not and even a high self-esteem and confidence can't help you in a situation of helplessness.
it's simply about sick abusive people.

I sincerely love being fat and ugly (not conventionally attractive). It does shield me from unwanted advances, and since there are no wanted advances for me, this is all good. Men also see me as an actual person instead of a fucktoy to be used more easily. And I very much enjoy annoying technically well-meaning but so limited people who, contrary to all evidence, keep insisting that I'm not ugly or fat. It's beyond me why people don't understand that I use them as descriptors, not slurs.

I have never known a person who became fat deliberately to avoid attention. That does not mean that being fat doesn't serve a purpose for a person. Exploring what unconscious purposes fat might be serving is not a ticket to slenderness but it can help a person become more fat accepting of her/him self and thereby have a better life.

It makes no sense to me to throw the baby out with the bathwater with respect to psychological insights. They may be wrong about causation but that does not render it all useless, wrong or meaningless.

This article is privilged fail from start to finish. Does the author live in a fantasy land where 'fat' people are never raped or sexually assaulted? I'd love to live in that imaginary place. in reality, not only are 'fat' people harrassed on the street sexually, they get the added fat-shaming bigotry on top.

And Noel - congrats, you just announced to the board that you deserve no respect.

I don't know if others have mentioned this before me as I didn't read all of the comments, but I would like to point out that not all fat women "get" fat for these reasons, though I do think that some people do. I'm just fat. I've always been fat, and will probably always be fat. I'm not fat for any other reason than I'm just naturally fat.

I think the author of this post is very insightful and I am not criticizing the post, just making mention that everyone's story is different.

I have to say, while there are many different reasons, these hit home for me.  I was attacked two years ago and stalked and gained weight because I needed to feel invisible.  My family didn't support me at all through the experience and made me feel unloveable.  I feel safer now, not being stared at and I left my family, I'm finding myself.

ohhhh im fattt toooo <333333

fat people rule the fuggin world brooooo