I saw this on Gawker a couple of days ago. It is very funny. I hope that you aren't suggesting that the father is some kind of homophobe for casually noting that his three-year-old is not actually a single lady. It reminds me of the time I saw a grownup tell a kid who was playing Peter Pan that he couldn't fly. Oh, the anguish!

I've always had very ambivalent feelings about the Beyoncé video, because it definitely raises the idea of women as chattel. But this home video makes it impossible to take too seriously.

This is now making the rounds on my facebook friends list under the title "Dad Realises Son is Gay". Interesting how gender roles are assumed to be ingrained, and not conforming to them completely - even at age 3! - means the kid must be gay. Reminds me of the Shiloh/John Jolie-Pitt example, as well.

The way I looked at it was that the father basically told his son, "You aren't an X." It didn't matter what "X" was to the son -- only that the son liked to be "X".

Poor kid, especially since this is now on the Internet. Hopefully, it won't come back to haunt him...

Awwwww. I actually felt really bad for Dad on this one--he was just making a cute observational comment and the little boy got so upset! Dad tried to fix it!

I love this video so much. I'm glad you found an official version, because I had seen it elsewhere and it kept getting deleted every place I found.

Knee-jerk enforcement of gender role. To his great credit, dad realized immediately that he'd hurt his son's feelings and apologized (multiple times) with real feeling. There are still plenty of neanderthals out there who would have shamed the boy for singing the song AND for crying.

What's way more disheartening about that video is the mother singing along with her daughters to a song that reinforces those gender roles in the first place. Turns out she's the neanderthal.

Why hasn't anyone brought up the fact that the dad is filming WHILE HE'S DRIVING? That's way worse than anything anyone did in the video.

The intellectual ability to analyze concepts and ideas in terms of something other than random opinion is getting scarcer every day in the comments on this site.

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned that the mother and two girls tried to console the little boy while the father just laughed into the camera, "I'm such a bad father." Obviously we don't know the regular dynamics of their family but that says a lot more to me than what the father actually said.

I think people are reading into this way to much.

From the child's perspective he most likely felt excluded from an activity that he enjoyed, didn't understand why, and then got upset about it.

I don't think the child is aware of any larger concepts of gender or anything like that, he just wanted to play along because it was fun.

Likewise I don't think the father was rigidly trying to lay down gender rules. He was just making a jib at the child for not being a single lady. It's a more adult oriented humor perspective and it didn't come across to the child.

I really feel like the father felt legitimately bad about it and everyone comforted the child by saying he could continue.

All in all its WAY better than experiences I had as a child*

*I'm a mtf transsexual and had to put up with gender roles I didn't enjoy one bit. I wish people were as easy going when I grew up as the people were in that van.

I feel so conflicted. On the one hand the boy is so cute I wanna pick him up and hug him <3, on the other hand I feel sorry for him for taking the quip so seriously that he cried. But the reactions of everyone in the van (except the elder sister lol) were very encouraging and sweet.

I cant believe how seriously you all are taking this. This wasnt some father tearing his toddler apart. He made a flip innocent comment that the toddler didnt get. It happens.

And for those rattling on about how horrible the song is for all the kids.......get over it people. Music doesnt turn little girls into hoochies any more than it sends teens to shoot someone. It is music, that's it.

What cracks me up the most is how all the parents out there complaining about a society that is to sexual while they run to the mall and buy mini skirts and skin tight tops for their daughters.

Stop worrying about music and focus on actual problems.

I also thought that the little boy was crying because he didn't understand why someone would tell him to stop dancing.

When my niece and nephew were a little younger, my nephew idolized his older sister and wanted to do everything she did. One time my mom got a necklace for the girl and something else for the boy, and he was upset because he didn't get a necklace too. Some folks would take that to mean he is gay, but whether he is gay or not (he's still a little young to tell), the point of that was that he just wanted what his sister had. Mom felt really bad about it too, I remember.

The girls were begging to hear the song; sometimes kids even like things their parents don't agree with. Many have been the feminist mothers who despaired over their kids liking Barbie dolls or other gendered toys. I myself was an avid collector of My Little Pony and I still grew up to be a feminist.

I think the father was a bit insensitive. Even though he did not mean to hurt his boy's feelings, he nevertheless told his son that he was not a "single lady" and hurt his feelings. Perhaps he could have just let it go and let his son sing the song. It wouldn't have hurt anyone. The father, without realizing it, bought the idea that boys should not be singing the song "Single Ladies" regardless of the fact that his son probably does not even know what it means to be a "Single Lady" and just loves the song and wants to have fun with his sisters.

I think we shouldn't forget the father most likely was raised in the same gendered social environment as the rest of us (unless he was raised by a self-identified radical feminist, which of course is possible).

So, without thinking much about it, he makes an effort to remind his son that he's a boy (=enforcing gender roles, by definition). But his son protests -- and here's where I think the dad is AWESOME.

Because once he realizes his son is upset, he doesn't say, "Well, I'm sorry buddy, but you *aren't* a single lady." He not only apologizes, repeatedly and sincerely (from what I could tell), but he explicitly says, "You're a single lady."

Would it have been better if he didn't make the comment in the first place? Maybe. But by apologizing *and negating the comment*, he's now put it out there to his son that he can be a single lady, if that's what he wants.

His son likely will be reminded over and over again that he's a boy, and that [many people believe] it's bad for boys to be like girls. His father has now explicitly countered those messages with one of acceptance. And if it took him a minute to get there (actually, well under a minute; the entire video is only 50 seconds long) -- still, he got there.

I don't think posting this was about vilifying the father (or the mother for that matter). To me, this is a cute video (that most parents can relate to) highlighting the gender biases/norms that we grow up with and perpetuate as a society.

As a side note, just because one doesn't understand or agree with a child's reaction doesn't mean it isn't valid.

I love love love the girl in the middle's expression. It's as if she's thinking, there goes another adult ruining the fun.

Is he driving the car while filming?

Eyes on the ROAD!!!!!

Something similar happened in my own family. My in-laws went to Hawaii and brought back grass skirts and coconut bras for my nieces and my nephew was absolutely devastated that he did not get one. He cried until one of the girls let him put it on as well.

I think this guy's a bad dad because he's operating a camera WHILE DRIVING.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgqawwX7fmc

They got interviewed :]