Crossposted at Jezebel.
Simon O. sent in this Ukrainian army video meant to recruit women:
The translation (taken from YouTube, and I think it’s a somewhat rough translation; I cleaned up the punctuation and spelling a bit):
Girl 1: Would you take us for a ride in your BMW?
BMW-driver: Even to the end of the world!
Soldier: Hey, I’d like to drown [drink?] some vodka, girls!
Girl 1: Just a second!
Girl 2: Where do you live?
Soldier: Right here- daytime at work, and at night in the clubs!
Girl 1: Which work???
Soldier: Contract, of course!
Blonde girl: Contract? Marriage contract or what?
Girl 3: Army contract, stupid!
BMW driver: Hey, don’t you wanna ride in my car?
Girls: Forget it, take yourself for a ride!
Narrator: It’s about time for new heroes! With contract-based service in Ukrainian armed forces!
Apparently the Austrian army thought it was awesome and made their own version:
Translation (again from YouTube):
Audi Driver: Hey girls, wanna go for a spin in my fast ride?
Girls: Ehh not sure, there’s not even enough space for all of us.
Soldier: Wazzup girls, in the mood for a joyride?
Girls: *Yaaaaay*
Soldier: Join the army if you wanna drive a tank.
Soldier2: Jump in, starting engine.
Audi Driver: Hey, what about the spin?
Girl: Forget it, I want to drive something big.
Narrator: The Austrian Armed Forces offer unique opportunities for young people who are at least 18, everything else is just everyday life.
Both versions play on the idea of women as materialistic, looking for the guy with the best car. Vehicles become a stand-in for masculinity; the bigger/faster the ride, the more attractive you are to women. And what’s more manly than a tank, with a long, phallic-shaped barrel? Women are simply entranced and can’t help running off after the biggest, strongest, manliest vehicle they can find…and, if we take the phallic imagery seriously, presumably the guy with the largest penis, too.
Comments 13
Dominique Millette — April 2, 2010
I'd like to see that ad with the woman driving the BMW/Audi and the guys choosing the tank. You think it would still make sense? Someone could make a YouTube parody
Tamara — April 2, 2010
Argh, lol. I'm offended and amused at the same time. I'm not sure the Ukrainian one is recruiting women though (and while my Ukrainian sucks, i'm pretty sure the soldier is asking the girls for a drink of water, not inviting them out for Vodka. There are other liquids in Eastern Europe.) rather its aimed at men - Join the army and you'll have hot women all over you and your tank.
Also, am I the only one who finds the contrasts between the Austrian and Ukranian ones amusing? The car, the tank, the berets and stripy shirts!
Ruthie G — April 2, 2010
I like how in both ads a conveniant yet small patch of fog occurs at just the point the tank emerges from. Subtle.
I reckon the phallic imagery is probably meant to be taken seriously. In both they have a specific shot of the gun barrel being touched (in the first ad it's pretty brief, but it's there). A tank-like version of crotch grabbing?
WW — April 2, 2010
Mmm I'd take I ride from the soldier with the nice lips any day!
Lea — April 2, 2010
I agree with Tamara - I do understand Ukranian and it's not to recruit women, it's to recruit guys so that girls would like them more
and, in thanslation, it's water, not vodka
yolei — April 2, 2010
The German/Austrian clip isn't intended to recruit women either. The solider indeed says something along the line of 'join the army if you wanna drive a tank' but I'd rather translate it to 'visit us in the army barracks'.
By the way I think it's easy to tell the target audience by how these ads are directed (e.g. zooming in on boobs, sheep's eyes at strong men etc).
Plus I don't know about the Ukraine, but in Austria, it would still be fairly uncommon to produce such an ad which would be exclusively addressed to women.
(please excuse my not-so-proper English)
triplexpat — April 2, 2010
I smell an April Fool's hoax; why would 2 countries that still have mandatory military service for their young men run recruitment ads?
mercurianferret — April 3, 2010
If that main gun is the largest one that the Ukranian army has, then I'm sorry for the Ukranian army when the Austrians come a-knocking.
If a major thesis of the argument is that women want a large penis - represented by the main gun of a tank - then why use what looks to be an APC (and not a battle tank)?
True though, the APC could hold all the women running after the armymen much better than the Austrian battle tank, so at least the Ukranian armymen could actually drive the women somewhere. In contrast, the Austrian battle tank would end up being almost as crowded as if the women had all piled into the two-seater Audi.
But then again, since when did military advertising have to make sense, right?
Butter — April 3, 2010
Upon asking my husband if he wanted to watch it again, he said "hahahaha I can't do it hahahaha I'll ... choke... hahahaha....sigh... my head hurts". We both couldn't stop laughing. I can only imagine a Canadian version. Probably would have a woman driver, lots of people of different ethnicities and at the end, everyone would happily join the army leaving no one behind.
Dipika — April 6, 2010
There's one aspect that seems to work for the ad- the women run after the tank saying they want to ride it, instead of waiting for the other guy to drive them around. In a way this puts the women into a place of power, don't you think? Anyway, this tiny detail doesn't counter-balance the crudeness of the whole advert.