Every time I see one of these gendered things, I click away with the thought that I must really be a man. I don't even want any of those "womanly" things. Of course, I also don't look like any of those women, so maybe that's why.

What frustrates me more about this film is their sly marketing. Bradley Cooper and Eric Dane play a gay couple in the movie, but you'd never know from seeing the promos.

I'm particularly fond of the way they worked Queen Latifah in as their token black woman in the role of the invulnerable black woman crossed with "negress with issues." That's new! [/sarcasm]

*shrug* looks like an add for cosmetic dentistry. Check out all those horsey choppers!

These ads make me far more uncomfortable than they should, and I'm trying to put my finger on why that is. Even the word "Dinner" on the female ad strikes me as wrong.

interesting that Kathy Bates and Shirley Maclean are not on the poster...

It's especially stupid this year, where Valentine's Day falls on a Sunday. "Business lunch"?

I think Valentine's Day has a different meaning depending on your age and relationship status. Valentine's for children is not the same as for adults. I would love to get flowers, chocolate, and have dinner if I were dating and or in a couple relationship without being married. (Wouldn't have liked the jewelry, though, too much, but a nice little gift would also be great).

I don't want to buy candy or a tie or wine for a man on Valentine's. It's his day to buy something for me, not to mention who should pay for the dinner.

Compare the ritual in the poster to: what did you do Valentine's Day evening? I read and he watched TV. Bleah.

However, rituals are not a substitute for other more important relationship dynamics, so everything needs to be kept within their measure.

Valentine's changes meaning to me if you are married, it's not so important to celebrate it, but it's still nice, although the ritualized formulas listed in the poster are almost irrelevant. Just spending time together in the evening or having dinner for two is fine for me. I think when you are married, the celebration of the relationship gets transferred to the marriage anniversary celebration.

Then there is the humor in the posters about how men and women think about Valentine's Day differently, related to this whole attitude difference towards romanticism. I need to think more about it before commenting.

And then, there are single people who aren't dating or in a relationship who get together and throw an anti-Valentine Day's party at home or all go out to a bar. I've gone to one of these once. I think that's fine too.

Note that all the men have office jobs - "business lunch". In this Cosmopolitan-world no man ever works with their hands or -god forbid- with children (as a teacher or nurse).

Is it me or are the women overwhelming white -- Queen Latifiah not withstanding? The men seem a little more diverse, though not really.

I'm really weirded out by the fact that Queen Latifah is wearing sunglasses in the poster. No one else is in sunglasses...no one would put a photo of one of the white actresses in where you couldn't see her eyes, right?

I'm glad it's not just me who noticed that the women in the pictures are much lighter (lighter skin, hair, eyes) than the pictures of the men. The men are "dark and handsome" while the women are "fair."

I wonder if this was done to emphasise that they're supposed to be opposites.

Ruby - that was the first thing I noticed. The men are all "dark and handsome" and the women are all "fair," except for Queen Latifah, but everybody needs a token black woman for sassy commentary! /sarcasm.

Kristina - I appreciated that little appetizer of classism too. "Business lunch," because blue collar jobs are for the dirty poor people and caretaking or hospitality jobs are for the dainty womenfolk.

This movie is a huge heternormative cumshot, like most movies/commercials/shows/songs/general media about Valentine's Day. It reminds me of He's Just Not That Into You, which looked just as painful.

Gah, I was hoping it was going to be a Valentine's Day themed horror film, but alas, my hopes were dashed. So much potential.

But I must be a woman according to this poster (i'm NOT btw), because i'm always pretty excited by Valentine's day (when i'm in a relationship), and not just because it's an excuse to get candy (although that is definitely a plus).

But had a wonderful day with my partner, and we had a great time, came home and watched "Reservoir Dogs" (her idea) and had a wonderful time hanging out and talking about Tarantino movies and videogames (more things she isn't supposed to be interested in according to movies like these).

Jen 6:09 pm on February 14, 2010
"Why so important to only receive and not give?"
=================
There are many ways people can express affection towards their partners. It's true, some of these ways are very gender-based.

If you both agree with the formula that it's his day to buy you some specific things, both men and women are fine with the one-way gift-giving. Neither feels like they are losing out on something or being oppressed or being cheated of anything. In a way, the reciprocity is played differently than a gift for another gift.

Think of a woman who loves to get flowers. So the man will do it just because he knows she likes it. He could care less about getting flowers and wouldn't like it, why should she go out and buy them in the first place or reciprocally? It makes no sense. She feels very appreciated, and so does he, in return, because she very much appreciates what he did. That is the objective, in my view. And since there are also other ways for the woman to express affection for the man (with or without gifts), it's not like there will be a problem in that respect.

I don't think there are many men who would go to the trouble of buying flowers etc if they thought the woman in question hated it. What is the point? Just as he doesn't expect that you will run out and buy him flowers just because he sent you some.

Then motive and context is really important regarding this question too.
Since individuals and relationships can vary so immensely, not every man
that buys some Valentine gift is buying it for the same reason(s). As you mentioned, a guy could buy all this stuff as a way to prostitute the woman, and I would be totally against that. Or a man could buy the flowers at the same time he treats the woman as fragile or superficial, regardless of any attitudes about sexual exploitation. I would be critical, because then the gift action becomes enmeshed in much more problematic dynamics.

I showed this to my high school advisees (freshmen) and they immediately pointed out that the girls are looking at the guys but the guys are looking at you or off into the distance.

Again: girls are clingy, guys are independent.