Miriam B. sent in a link to a blog post about a (presumably–I may be totally wrong) homeless woman on public transportation. I didn’t immediately post it because I kept going back and forth about whether it was appropriate. For one thing, it’s a personal blog, not something put out by an artist, ad agency, political group, etc., and with a few exceptions we usually don’t repost things from personal blogs (unless they’re images of things in the public domain, such as a billboard). I was also trying to decide if I wanted to post images of a possibly mentally-ill woman when it might be opening her up for ridicule (which was the point of the original post), even though she’s not clearly visible in any of them. After talking to Lisa about it, I decided to go ahead, but I’m aware some of you may object.
All that said…the point of the original post is that the poster/photographer noticed that the woman has sectioned off a seat on the subway and put up signs, which she clearly spent a lot of time putting together, stating that she didn’t want people’s things:
As Miriam said,
What caused this woman to write such a strongly worded set of rules? What does it imply about how people have treated her in the past? Homeless people have personal boundaries too.
What I found interesting was the tone of the original blog post and the comments to it: basically, a) I can assure that crazy lady, I had no intention of giving her anything in the first place! and b) what an uppity homeless person! What position is she in to say she doesn’t want stuff from strangers?
Of course, the woman might be mentally ill, and that explains her reaction. But it’s also possible that she just does not want people offering her handouts, for whatever reason–maybe sick of them, doesn’t think of herself as a beggar, sense of pride, isn’t homeless, whatever. Or some combination of all of the above. I can see an onlooker finding the vehemence of her statements amusing. But the reaction to her brings up a bigger issue, which seems to be a sense that her insistence that she doesn’t want donations is a sense of “entitlement,” as the original poster called it.
It brings up some interesting questions. Do homeless people lose the right to personal boundaries or to turn down handouts? I think many people will argue the point is the tone of her statements, but I wonder–if a fellow subway passenger offered her a dollar and she kindly said “no, thank you, I’m not a beggar,” would the reaction necessarily be much better? Is part of the problem that she is openly and unapologetically marking off some space on public transit as hers (though not much more space than a lot of people take up with their oversized purses, briefcases, etc.)? Is it that she’s ridiculing the idea of the rest of us as Good Samaritans when we give money or items to the poor?
I might be more sympathetic to her message than most because I’ve worked at a number of non-profits and see some of the weird issues that can arise around donations. People or businesses will sometimes show up with large quantities of products that, while we might be thrilled to have some of them, were difficult to deal with all at once, store, etc. If individuals called and offered things that we couldn’t use, no matter how how politely we explained that we didn’t need or could store the item, the reaction was generally a sense of moral outrage–we were a service agency being offered free stuff! How dare we not immediately say yes, offer to come get it ourselves, and express our gratitude? People seemed to take it very personally if we could not accept a particular donation. [For the record: of course organizations want donations. But if it’s a large amount, oddly sized, etc., you might call ahead and make sure it’s something they have room for. And seriously, don’t use non-profits as an alternative to taking real, true junk to the dump or whatever–they can’t use your permanently-broken washing machine any more than you can.]
I don’t know. Thoughts?
(And yes, it did make me think of the “Seinfeld” episode where Elaine and Kramer are trying to get rid of all the muffin stumps and the woman at the shelter yells at them, saying just because people are homeless doesn’t mean they want their stumps.)
Comments 11
Elisabeth — February 12, 2009
Working at several donation NPs frequently reminds me of that Seinfeld episode. Once I sorted a bag of t-shirts that contained a ziplock bag of McDonald's ketchup packets.
Lost Left Coaster — February 12, 2009
I'm glad you posted it here, so this topic could be discussed with more maturity than it received at its original posting. I read some of the comments at the other blog, and I saw that most of the people posting comments thought it would be appropriate and witty to make derogatory comments and ridicule the woman in the photos. I'm not so fond of the fact that the individual took the photos in the first place with only the intention of posting them on his/her own blog in order to make a joke out of it.
I am very sympathetic. I can see that two of the most absolutely frustrating aspects of being homeless (in a social sense) would be 1) that people continuously make prejudicial assumptions, such as, this person is homeless, therefore must be on drugs/crazy, this person is going to want the free stuff I give her, etc., and 2) the inability to establish boundaries and personal space. I mean, this is both a personal issue and a safety issue too; homeless people are often unable to protect themselves from theft, sexual assault, even random violence by sadistic people, and often they aren't treated well by local law enforcement either (and often find themselves displaced by said law enforcement too).
So, while we don't know much about this woman's story, I think we can see that she is trying to establish firm boundaries and maintain them. That is something we should all be able to respect, unless we cannot recognize how important boundaries are in our own lives.
dr.funke — February 12, 2009
Whether mental health problems precede homelessness or are the result of the physical, emotional and social stress of not having a home probably varies from case to case. It would be naive to assume all homeless people have mental health problems, however part of this woman's note seems to communicate a paranoia or maladjusted concern about other people's belongings the suggests a more complicated reason for needing boundaries than other people invading her personal space (e.g., the belongings are distasteful and actually distress her).
Sabriel — February 12, 2009
Thank you for posting this. The part that struck me the most was when she said, "When a person says 'NO' it really means NO. If you leave anything here without my prior knowledge, consent, and arrangement..."
The ability for a person to say "no" and have their voice be respected is one thing that separates humans from animals in this society. We recognize each other's autonomy and humanity when we allow each other to say "no." I'm sure that people think they're helping when they try to push stuff on her, but when they ignore what she is saying, they're reducing her humanity.
It is very sad. I will keep this in mind when I think about social service in the future.
Kristina B — February 12, 2009
I echo the thanks for posting this. It's particularly timely for me, because just yesterday my husband and I volunteered at our local homeless shelter serving food. Going there is a continual reminder that "homeless" does not equal "starving" or even "completely destitute." The guys (it's an all male shelter) that come to the shelter in Austin are almost all particular about which foods go onto their plates and how much of each food, reminding us of what it's easy to forget: beggars most certainly CAN be choosers. There is no reason why they shouldn't be. What about homelessness makes people less deserving of having preferences and opinions? Nothing, in my book.
But there is a definite message in our culture that places blame on the shoulders of the homeless and leads to non-homeless people feeling indignant when homeless folks express their humanity in any way other than submissively.
Marcello — February 13, 2009
On the other hand there's the issue that the woman actually cordoned off a section of the seats on a public transportation vehicle. To what extent her "condition" allows her to set personal boundaries that would have been considered unacceptable if set by a non-homeless person? Imagine the stereotypical business-suited person doing the same, how would other passenger react?
Beth — February 13, 2009
Just today I saw a businessman on a reasonably crowded bus, with his arm draped over his bag next to him so he took up the two-person seat. Another man came up and waited expectantly for him to move his bag (and from what I've seen in the past usually that's enough to remove the bag. Instead the seated man ignored the guy standing expectantly and avoiding his eyes, and the other guy just kind of shrugged and ignored it.
So I think our fear of confrontation is greater than our desire to sit down on public transport.
Sabriel — February 13, 2009
Yeah, businessmen cordon off unreasonable amounts of space on public transportation all the time.
WhatHaveDrew — February 13, 2009
I recall: In Toronto in the fall we have this all night art party called Nuit Blanche where people set up installations throughout several downtown regions of the city.
One such installation was a drop ceiling put in over the length if the alley running beside a concert hall. There was also assorted office detritus strewn about.
Here's a link describing it: http://vagueterrain.net/content/2008/10/nuit-blanche-recommendations-zone
Note the language in this writeup: "GL will construct a 40 metre long drop ceiling in the alley of St. Enoch’s Square beside Massey Hall, framing the dumpsters, recycling bins and other life of the alleyway"
Other life indeed, for this installation was built, quite unintentionally I'm sure, around a stairwell under which a homeless fellow had constructed himself a makeshift shelter and sleeping area. Imagine having hundreds of interested art-seekers strolling through your bedroom in the dead of night!
I certainly felt akward stumbling through this man's public-domain abode, so "framed" by this piece of art. Are the homeless then no longer individuals, no longer people? Are they to be reduced to some form of intellectual construct? To be framed, as architecture or litter, as simply part of the landscape, to be studied as object?
In any event, I just thought that ties in, on the note of boundaries and what have you.
Kim — March 17, 2009
She says that you will be responsible for chemical analysis of anything you leave there. That says to me it's not about not wanting charity, but that she is mentally ill and paranoid, and doesn't trust anything anyone else might give her.
And I see no reason why anyone would have a problem asking someone to move their bag off a seat on a bus/train if it was the only seat free.
Rose — October 28, 2009
Kim, you're right for asking the majority of people who are reasonable. If it was a person who made me feel threatened, though, because of how they present themselves or interactions I see them have with others (with an element of stereotyping - if you look like a really mean, badass gangbanger, I'm gonna give you a wider berth), I'd avoid asking them to move their bag. There are some people to whom asking them to move their bag is like an open invitation for a big confrontation.
And I say that as a petite woman who has a disability & can't stand for long. If I were someone more likely to get picked on...forget it, I'd rather stand.
If I was in that situation I would probably address a bunch of people more generally and explain my disability & ask if anyone could help me sit down. With luck the person would move their bag without direct confrontation. If not, perhaps someone else would give me their seat.