Join Shira Tarrant as she discusses her new book, Men and Feminism

Tuesday, May 26 @ 7:00PM

Lir Irish Pub, 903 Boylston St., Boston

(617) 778-0089

There’s no denying that men’s involvement and interest in feminism is key to its continuing relevance and importance. Shira Tarrant, an expert in gender politics, feminism, pop culture, and masculinity, in her new work Men and Feminism, addresses the question of why men should care about feminism in the first place.

Men and Feminism lays the foundation for a larger discussion about feminism as a human issue, not simply a women’s issue. Men are crucial to the movement — as fathers, brothers, husbands, boyfriends, and friends. From “why” to “how” to “what can men do”, Men and Feminism answers all the questions men have about how and why they should get behind feminism.

Sponsored by the Center for New Words and co-sponsored by the Boston Chapter of NOMAS

Cross-posted at http://shiratarrant.com.

Photo: Shira Tarrant, Jessica Pauline, Michele Matheson, Stan Kent, Jillian Lauren

On May 13, Hustler Cafe in Hollywood hosted its monthly In the Flesh Reading Series: L.A.. Topic of the Month? Feminist Sex.

The awesome Jillian Lauren read from her forthcoming memoir, Some Girls and regaled listeners with stories about her experience in a Brunei harem. The amazing Michele Matheson read from her upcoming novel, The Failed Suicide of Cooper Tin. (Michele is a recovering child actor from such TV faves as Mr. Belvedere.) The wickedly funny Jessica Pauline read about working a pole (or a lap) at night and working Planned Parenthood by day, an excerpt from her book-in-progress. The groundbreaking Michelle Tea phoned it in from Florida with provocative portions from her queer, postpunk novel, Valencia.

I read from my new book Men and Feminism (Seal Press) along with my recent Huffington Post piece, Hip to Strip? Or Is it Time for Men to Stop Watching?

Question: Why Hustler?
Answer: Why not?

The event was a great opportunity to talk about women’s freedom to do sex work and to also ask questions about why men pay for it — and I stand behind both topics. Jillian Lauren described the subject of men and feminism as the only taboo left in that particular setting. So all the more reason to speak up. The Hustler event on May 13 left out the subject of what gets women hot. You know … things like sexual agency, pleasure, feminist ethical sluttiness … but that’s a question for another radical day.

Thanks to all who came out for this record-breaking event. Word has it this was the largest turn-out yet for the In the Flesh Reading Series: L.A. That’s really saying something! And much appreciation to Stan Kent for spinning some righteous tunes and for being an all-around gracious and organized host. See you next time.

<img class="size-medium wp-image-662" title="hustler-cafe-2" src="http://shiratarrant.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/hustler-cafe-2-300×239.jpg"

Crossposted at http://shiratarrant.com

Time for some serious talk about men’s violence. I’ll break it down to make a difficult point really simple.

Number one: Men’s violence against women is a men’s issue.
Number two: Prevention is the best solution.

It’s been almost two months since Chris Brown’s infamous and brutal attack on Rihanna. With our three-second Twitters, four-second sound bites, and a five-second news story shelf lives, it’s like this assault happened a million years ago. It’s so easy to collectively forget and move on to the Next Big Story.

But think back to the leaked police photos of 21-year-old popstar Rihanna’s bruised and swollen face. Although her bruises may have faded along with our collective voyeurism, a crucial issue remains.

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence reports that 1.3 million women are victims of assault by an intimate partner each year. Do the math. That works out to nearly two-and-a-half women assaulted every minute, typically by a boyfriend or husband.
We live in a culture that shrouds these facts of violence in secrecy, silence, and misunderstanding. We’re taught to confuse abuse with passionate love. Our culture links violence with romance with lines like, “Baby, I only hit you because I love you” — the kind of relentless refrain we see repeated in mainstream movies, TV, magazines, and music.

If a celebrity woman stays in a violent relationship, or gets back with an abusive guy, the takeaway for most people is that that male violence is not so bad. This insidious message, comments journalist Katha Pollitt, reinforces ideas that male violence is a natural part of life, and something in which women are complicit by provoking it, using it, even liking it.

This is dangerous misinformation. It contributes to a culture that normalizes violence and is accustomed to looking the other way, even with the rates of abuse so astronomically high.

But here’s the thing. Whether we’re talking about two megastars in Hollywood or the couple living right next door, we might scratch our heads and ask, “If he’s abusive then why does she stay?”

It’s a fair question. But the wrong one. The question that goes to the heart of the matter is Why does he hit?

Men are certainly victims of domestic assault. But the vast majority of cases are women hurt by men’s hands, words, and control. Direct service agencies and hospital samples indicate that men commit nearly 90 percent of domestic abuse. Yet, ironically, we’re trained to think of abuse as a woman’s issue. When we’re talking about male violence against women, says violence-prevention educator Jackson Katz, we’re really talking about a men’s issue.

This isn’t about blaming men. The point is more profound and the goal more constructive than that. The most effective way to end violence against women is to stop the problem before it happens. Doing so means we need men on board. We need men taking responsibility, getting in on the conversations about male violence, and refusing to be silent bystanders to the problem.

Rihanna and Chris Brown are high-profile cultural icons. Millions of fans look to them as trendsetters and culture creators. With media giving so much attention to their personal lives, the couple’s private relationship has powerful public impact.

The Rihanna-Chris Brown fan base skews young. So does abuse. Girls and women between the ages of 16 and 24 are more likely than any other group to be in abusive relationships. The NCADV reports teen dating violence is one of the major sources of violence in adolescents’ lives. A full 20 percent of dating couples report some type of violence in their relationship. Teen dating violence is particularly insidious because it happens at a time when young people are navigating intense relationships, sorting out their values, and laying emotional roadmaps for their futures.

A recent study of Boston teens that found nearly 50 percent of the 12-to-19-year-olds surveyed blamed Rihanna for getting hit. But this isn’t just about pop-star punditry. The issue literally hits at home. According to the Boston Public Health Commission, 71 percent of the teens they questioned said arguing is a normal part of relationships and 44 percent said fighting in relationships is routine.

This is startling.

So let’s seize this cultural moment to keep talking — really talking! — about masculinity, violence, and pop culture. Honest conversations across communities about male violence against women are crucial for the safety of teenagers at risk, for children who witness abuse, and for survivors everywhere. We need to start talking across communities because men’s violence against women is a men’s issue. And prevention is the best solution.

This month’s guest post to The Man Files comes at us from Jonathan Felix — college student, drummer, sports fan, and astute social critic. In Jonathan’s words, “Me and my dad sarcastically laugh at the sequence of commercials during ‘guy’ shows on TV: beer, burgers, military. Beer, cars, televisions, military …” Here Jonathan takes on Carl’s Jr. ads asking why they portray guys as kind of stupid.

Masculine, Jr.

In true corporate marketing fashion, Carl’s Jr. depicts demoralizing stereotypes of men and women in efforts to attract consumers.

The fast-food chain’s current commercial shows a beautiful skinny blonde girl wearing make-up and a nice blue dress. She enters her boyfriend’s apartment expecting a classy night out, and finds him on the couch playing video games. The couple talks about a steak dinner, and the guy implies they are going to Carl’s Jr. for their new steak sandwich. The motto after the commercial is that Carl’s Jr. is “How guys do fancy.”

This is NOT how I do fancy.

Commercials like this give good guys a bad reputation. Hey Carl’s Jr. — Listen up! A lot of us actually have our lives together and enjoy taking women out to nice places and good dinners.

Or what about the ad with the guy and the avocado? It makes men look like total barbaric meatheads, who can’t even use a spoon to eat an avocado, and we somehow need Carl’s Jr. to make guacamole for us because we’re too stupid to figure it out.

Now I happen to like Carl’s Jr. But for them to portray guys as that lazy and ignorant is offensive. I can only hope my peers would agree that we have to do better than a #4 Combo if we plan on making good boyfriends and future husbands.

These commercials project a message to the world that men are lame and losers and unable to appreciate even the smallest bit of romantic effort. Far too often our society depicts “real” men as barbarians who love sports and beer and total sexual dominance. And although plenty of men have some of these traits, pop culture insists on exploiting our more obtuse characteristics to sell their products.

These ads completely ignore a man’s intellectual or emotional capabilities. This hurts men who actually have their lives somewhat together. It perpetuates negative stereotypes and affects women’s future opinions about men, be they Prince Charmings or Ronald McDonalds.

Show Jonathan some love and welcome him to Girl With Pen by posting your comments here. Or reach him directly at johnnylbeach at yahoo.com. Until next month! -Shira

Naked women. What’s not to love, right?
Well…Let’s talk about Frank Cordelle.

Cordelle is a photographer with a long-running exhibit he calls The Century Project. It’s a collection of pics — nude girls and women ages birth through 100. (Get it? One hundred years of naked women = The Century Project.) The line-up for 2009 includes shows at the University of North Carolina, Wilmington, Rhodes College in Memphis, and the College of William and Mary in Williamsburg, VA.

The pics are supposedly a celebration of the naked female body in a variety of shapes, sizes, races, and ages. Each photo comes with a little story about the featured female. Many of these “moving personal statements,” as Cordelle calls them, are first-person blurbs about overcoming abuse, eating disorders, etc.

Cordelle’s Mission Statement describes his exhibit as a project that “aims more generally to stimulate thought and discussion about subjects that are often taboo in our culture, or otherwise too personal, too painful.” An 8-year-old girl certainly has lots to tell us. But why does she have to do it in the nude?

Visual artist Karen Henninger comments, “if men REALLY got the issues, they would refrain — as in take a break — from female nudity. There is NO need for men to do female nudity — unless it SERVES them. It’s pretty much a mainstream art thing. Female nudity is acceptable and will get you attention. So much for art being a place of ‘creativity,’” Henninger says. Check out the Met. Or any other museum. As the Guerrilla Girls have noted for years, themes of female nudity melded with rape or sexual assault — regardless of how the art is intended — have been a constant theme in art history. Think Rubens’ Rape of Europa or Hayez’s Susannah at her Bath. Depicting women naked, vulnerable, or linked in some way to abuse has been “a constant way for women to be portrayed” in the art world Henninger comments.

But back to Cordelle.

The problem is not female nudity or female sexuality. The problem is that The Century Project uses naked female bodies, eating disorders, and abuse in ways that promote voyeuristic interest. While childhood nudity should be free and joyful, in our culture that’s a big challenge because girls are already hypersexualized at younger and younger ages. As a result we — as a culture — often don’t know how to see a naked female body (regardless of age) other than in sexualized terms. Is she available? Arousing? Sexually interesting? Or not?

I am anti-censorship. I’m a huge fan of feel-good sexual exploration and the freedom to accept our own bodies on our own terms.

The Century Project is not it.

It’s the same old-same old: girls’ and women’s naked bodies on display. I saw the exhibit and talked to the photographer. For the most part, the “moving personal statements” moved me to want to vomit. The exhibit visually exploited women and put their stories on display for no apparent productive end.

Check the photographer’s website and see what he has to say under the FAQ “Why Women?” I remain unconvinced that he gets the issues. Cordelle’s explanation for exhibiting naked female bodies reinforces assumptions about women as different and needing special attention or unique protection. There’s something really off about it. He puts girls and women on display while claiming concern for our well being. Really, Frank: Don’t.

And P.S., Therese Shechter (Trixie Films) has continued this convo over at the blog American Virgin. Drop by and take a look!

Meeting Notorious on the Big Screen

I’m happy to introduce Ebony Utley who contributes this kick-ass guest post to The Man Files. Ebony cleverly writes about her “date” with rap star B.I.G. — a posthumous movie night watching B.I.G. on the big screen in the recently released biopic, Notorious. What follows is Ebony’s sharp call about the demands and expectations of masculinity.

Me and B.I.G. just went out on our first date. I’d heard about him around the way, but he seemed like such a bad boy. I was content to watch him from my stoop.  Then some friends were like, “Girl, I heard he done changed. He told us to tell you to meet him at the Pike at eight for this movie.”  And thought, “If dude wanna take me out; he should take me some place where I can look him in the eye and see if he lyin’ when he talk.”

But you know, he’s B.I.G., so I went.

It wasn’t a typical movie date. He told me lots of stuff about his life.  It was juicy.  I was surprised at how open he was about his past. He had been a hustla, but got his money legal.  He loved his mama. He loved his kids. He admitted to being a playa, but he told me I was special. I knew stuff that nobody knew.  Said he’d had suicidal thoughts but now he was ready to live. I myself was mesmerized by his charisma and swagger.  I soaked up every second of his life.  Before we left the movie, he asked if he could be a friend of mine, and then just like that, he was gone.

I’m not going to lie. I miss B.I.G.  Who doesn’t?  But I’m trying to be real about the things he told me on our first and only date together.  I mean, it was still dark in that movie, and I couldn’t look him in the eye good.  What if he told all the ladies that they were special and knew things nobody knew?  He kept saying that he’d changed.  I’m hearing him say that he’d become a man.  I admired B.I.G., but what made him a man? He told me real men make money, have kids, and lots of women, get respect, and die too young.  Hmm.  Even the list is suspect.

B.I.G. made money, yes, but Diddy was in charge of his destiny. Without Diddy telling my girls to tell me to go see B.I.G. we would have never even hooked up.  I can’t imagine that B.I.G. didn’t love his kids, but they didn’t really know him; he didn’t seem to know them.  Sure, he was sometimes at peace with his women but what about the lies, the deception, and the manipulation?  Everybody was celebrating B.I.G. when they killed him. So much for respect. If this is what a man is, I’m glad that we decided to be just friends.

All I can say ladies is don’t let them hypnotize you.  No disrespect to the person who was the Notorious B.I.G., but those traditional celebrations of manhood as the fearless protector, provider, babymaker get old after a while.  Better to watch them from the stoop than get caught up in some mess.  If B.I.G. had tried something different, maybe he’d still be here, but his story is still powerful. I’m glad he shared it with me.  Gives me a point a reference for what else manhood should be—entrepreneurship, present fatherhood, honest, healthy relationships, and caution over reputation.  Thanks for the teaching moment. I’ve still got mad love for you, B.I.G.

Ebony A. Utley, Ph.D. is an Assistant Professor of Communication Studies at California State University, Long Beach and author of  The Gangsta’s God: The Quest for Respectability in Hip Hop (Praeger, forthcoming).

The other day I stumbled across Rafael Casal on YouTube and was blown away. The first thing I did was to send out an email to a bunch of my friends that said: If you knew about this guy and didn’t tell me about him, y’all are in some deep shit.

A slam champion poet, recording artist, and educator, Rafael Casal is turning up the political heat. His message is steaming hot. And now that I’ve found Casal, I want to tell as many people as possible about this amazing hip-hop influenced poet who cuts straight to the heart of so many issues.

Take the Bill of Rights. You know, those 10 amendments to the U.S. Constitution that were ratified as a package deal in 1791? Remember those 10 gems that are supposed to protect us from an overzealous federal government? Freedom of speech, the right to peacefully gather, freedom from cruel and unusual punishment or unreasonable search and seizure. Yeah, that Bill of Rights.

Well, “I’m billing them for my rights,” Casal says.

“They had a chance to give us rights and steps to find solution. But the Bill of Rights only speaks power and a speedy prosecution. No mention of obligations from nations to its people. It is strictly self-protection laws to keep the weakest feeble. So fuck their 10 amendments. I’ve got 7 that are nice so I’m writing up an invoice and I’m billing them for my rights.” It’s worth listening to Casal’s entire slam on power, wealth, and gender injustice:

And then there’s that pesky matter of body image. This up-and-coming Def Poetry star gets this rolling:

“Sometimes I feel like I’m sitting in the back of Barbie and Ken 101. A class we’re all in but never seem to learn from. Some general ed requirement for students of American culture. One that convinces even the brightest of young women that sex is survival of the thinnest. And I’m sick of this education that doesn’t serve our best interest … Shit, just turn on your TV. This just in: A skewed perspective for today’s youth. Y’all ladies ain’t thin enough. Fellas ain’t trim enough. Want to be sexy? Ya’ll don’t get to the gym enough. Cut to commercial.”

Savory food for thought. (Pun intended.)

To repeat one YouTube fan: “Hallelujah. A male who would rather point out how fucked up the media’s treatment of women is rather than benefit from it. Thank you, Rafael.”

I couldn’t have said it better. Plenty of activists, authors, poets, and performers have been putting out these politics for a long, long time. And now we’ve got Rafael Casal who’s doing it to a really great beat. How much do we heart him? Lots.

I’m thrilled to join Girl With Pen with this inaugural entry of The Man Files. Deborah Siegel and I have big plans for this column. Watch us grow! In the meantime, join our monthly discussions about masculinity, sex, culture, work, parenting, and progressive change. Our goal is to engage scholars, bloggers, and readers in a popular online forum about what it means these days to “be a man.”

Why The Man Files? Because gender isn’t just about women. And because it’s time that the amazing female feminists and the awesome feminist guys get out of our (virtual blog) boxes and start talking with each other. There are so many people doing so much hard work to end sexism, racism, and other forms of hate. Yet so often we stay oddly isolated.

Personally, I’m not one to shy away from difficult, challenging, or even unlikely convos across communities. The Man Files provides a forum for these conversations. The more we talk, the closer we come to preventing male violence against women, improving pay inequity, building strategic feminist alliances, and generally expanding our everyday choices in selecting where we work, who we love, how we act, and why we do — the sorts of choices that are so often constrained by rigid gender expectations.

To start out The Man Files I want to introduce a couple recent works about men and masculinity. A few of my favorite things, if you will, that include hot new projects hitting the scene.

Monthly Round-Up
Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men by Michael Kimmel (HarperCollins 2008). Kimmel cuts new ground again with his most recent book, Guyland. Going beyond pop-psych pablum or narrow-minded moralizing, Guyland takes us inside the world of young men between 16 and 26 so that readers can understand how these critical years contribute to the formation of masculinity. Think boys and their toys, beer, babes, and (foot)ball.

The Black Male Handbook: A Blueprint for Life edited by Kevin Powell (Atria Books 2008). Kevin Powell makes a strong case in The Black Male Handbook for supporting men in the black community. This collection of highly personal essays offers “fresh solutions for old problems.” Authors like Hill Harper, Byron Hurt, Jeff Johnson, and Ryan Mack provide concrete plans for improving economic empowerment, creating physical health, and developing spiritual and political awareness. These issues have political roots and such personal consequences. Written primarily for black men, we can all benefit from reading this book. Check out the suggestions for new music, books, and other sources of entertainment.

Barack & Curtis: Manhood, Power & Respect directed by Byron Hurt. As part of the recently launched Black Masculinity Project, Byron Hurt does it again with his recent short about Barack Obama and rapper 50 Cent. (See Hurt’s acclaimed film Hip Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes.) Why these two guys? As Hurt explains, Barack Obama is shattering so many myths about black masculinity and 50 Cent (named Forbes Magazine‘s top-earning rapper), epitomizes gangsta hip-hop masculinity. “Both are successful Black men,” Hurt says. “Both are rock stars. Both are admired and feared.” Juxtaposing the two men in a short documentary film promotes — in Hurt’s words — historic level conversations. See it on YouTube.

So that’s it for this time. Humor and (respectful) controversy are always welcome at The Man Files. Send your ideas to Shira_Tarrant at yahoo dot com and tell me what you’d like to see. The lines are open, we’re taking requests, and I’ll see you here next month.

—Shira Tarrant