I’m crushing on Nicholas Kristof this morning. Just read his NYTimes oped, “When Women Lead,” in which he notes that “modern democracies may empower deep prejudices and thus constrain female leaders in ways that ancient monarchies did not.” He cites all sorts of great research and shares his “pet” theory about why a queen might have had an easier time that a democratically-elected woman president:

In monarchies, women who rose to the top dealt mostly with a narrow elite, so they could prove themselves and get on with governing. But in democracies in the television age, female leaders also have to navigate public prejudices — and these make democratic politics far more challenging for a woman than for a man….Women have often quipped that they have to be twice as good as men to get anywhere — but that, fortunately, is not difficult. In fact, it appears that it may be difficult after all. Modern democracies may empower deep prejudices and thus constrain female leaders in ways that ancient monarchies did not.

A sidenote: Last week women leaders released statements praising the “historic, inspirational candidacy” of Hillary Clinton.

But back at the NYTimes, let me also point you to Peggy Orenstein on The Daring Book for Girls in “Girls Will Be Girls” and my friend Annie Murphy Paul on “The First Ache,” in case you haven’t yet read…And happy weekend!

Folks have been asking where I’ll be speaking next, so I thought I’d post some places and dates for coming months. Thanks so much for spreading word to any friends in these places. And if you live there, I hope you’ll come out and say hi!

Feb 12 – Catalyst, NYC (Sisterhood, Interrupted)
March 1 – Alice Paul Institute, New Jersey (Sisterhood, Interrupted)
March 11 – University of Missouri, Kansas City (Sisterhood, Interrupted)
March 17-18 – Central Michigan University (Intergenerational Feminist Panel)
March 26 – Lafayette College, PA (Sisterhood, Interrupted)
March 28-29 – WAM! Conference 2008, MIT (Writing a Book Proposal That Sells)
April 18 – Harvard University (Intergenerational Feminist Panel)
April 25-26 – Council on Contemporary Families Conference, University of IL, Chicago (What You Should Know about Blogging and Why)

To book me, please contact Taryn Kutujian at taryn.kutujian@gmail.com or Speaking Matters at info@speakingmatters.org.

Betty Friedan’s classic started with a survey of her college classmates some years after graduation. Fortysome years later, a book about The Feminine Mystique is starting out with a survey too. This just in from esteemed marriage scholar and friend Stephanie Coontz. Please pass it on — the survey is for younger women who came across the book in Women’s Studies courses as well as for those who read it when it first came out!

Writes Stephanie:

Thank you for agreeing to help in my study of the influence of Betty Friedan’s 1963 book “The Feminine Mystique.” I am trying to get a feel for how people in different time periods and situations reacted to this book, or merely to the general idea of a “feminine mystique,” whether or not they actually read the book. I have listed some questions below, but feel free to tell me anything you feel would be useful, and in as much detail as you choose.

If you heard the concept of “The Feminine Mystique” before — or without — reading the book, how and when did you hear of it? What did it mean to you? How did you react to the idea that there was a “feminine mystique”? Did a relative, spouse or friend read the book, and if so, what was their reaction? Did their reaction affect you in any way?

For people who read the book, can you tell me the year when you read it? Your age at the time? Were you married? Any children? Did you work for pay at the time? If so, at what? How did you come to read it?

Do you remember your overall reaction to the book? Did anything speak powerfully to you? Did anything anger you? What is your most vivid memory of reading it? Did it influence your life or relationships in any way?

Have you ever re-read the book? If so, why? Did your reaction change?

What is your ethnic or racial and socioeconomic background? Your current age and occupation? May I identify you by name if I quote from your response? Unless you explicitly give me permission to use your name in my book, I will not do so, nor will I offer details that might identify you.

I deeply appreciate any help you might give to this project. If there are questions I should have asked but neglected, please let me know that too. And if you have suggestions for other people I might contact, please let me know. You can e-mail your responses to coontzs@gmail.com

Most excellent rant this morning about unreconstructed dudes from Judith Warner, called “Like a Fish Needs a Donut.” Read it and weep. I’m just as ready as the next girl to spew donuts about it all, along with Judith. But I also wanted to share an article I wrote a few years ago for Psychology Today with lots of research-based evidence finding that highly-educated, high-achieving guys do seek high-achieving women as mates these days. The article was titled “The New Trophy Wife.” (Please note: It was not I who gave the article its title.)

If in North Carolina, please do come out to hear anthology editor Shira Tarrant talk about her new book, Men Speak Out: Views on Gender, Sex, and Power. I’m in the middle of the collection right now and I swear, it’s great.

Event: Men Speak Out
“Author Reading and Town Hall Meeting on Men, Masculinity and Feminism”
What: Informational Meeting
Host: Women’s and Gender Studies
When: Tuesday, February 26 at 4:00pm
Where: Elliot University Center, Alexander Room, UNCG
RSVP here.

More events posted here. I can’t wait til Shira and the guys come to NYC!

On Thursday Feb. 21 (3-5pm), the National Council for Research on Women is putting on a fantastic panel that I’m very sad I’ll be out of town for, “Translating Women’s Agendas to the National Agenda in 2008.” If you are in the NYC area, can attend, and are interested in guest blogging about it here on GWP, please email me!

Hosted by Merrill Lynch, the event is co-sponsored by Barnard Center for Research on Women; Center for Research on Women and Society, CUNY; Demos; Legal Momentum; Shirley Chisholm Center, Brooklyn College;WEDO; The White House Project, and the Women’s Media Center.

Speakers:
Linda Basch,National Council for Research on Women
Subha Barry, Merrill Lynch
Carol Jenkins, Women’s Media Center (moderator)
Johnnetta B. Cole, Bennett College, Spelman College
Ruth Mandel, Eagleton Institute of Politics at Rutgers University
Monique Mehta, Third Wave Foundation

Location: 222 Broadway, 23rd Floor, New York City

To RSVP, please call 212-785-7335 x100 or email jdudley@ncrw.org.

This program will precede the Council’s Making a Difference for Women Awards Dinner at Cipriani Wall Street on February 21, 2008. For more information, please contact the National Council for Research on Women Benefit Office, c/o CMI Events 212.763.8591, ncrw@cmevents.net, or visit the website.

I am incredibly proud to announce that Praying with Lior, a beautiful documentary by my beloved friend Ilana Trachtman, was the top grossing independent film opening in the country last weekend. You can read one of the many rave reviews here. Thank you to all those who came out to see it last weekend, and attended the party! I had fun playing the bouncer. If you missed it, you can still catch it. The NYC run has been extended. Tickets here.

I’m becoming quickly obsessed with the topic of young people and the election. Last night I was watching (ugh) Cooper Anderson 360 and Keli Goff was on with Anderson talking about “Generation O.” You can read her blog post on it here. Keli has a book coming out next month, called Party Crashing: How the Hip-Hop Generation Declared Political Independence. Keli began her career in politics as an intern on Hillary Clinton’s 2000 Senate campaign. Check out Keli’s blog, Pimp My Vote and her website to find out more.

And here’s from the book’s description:

For the last forty years the label “black voter” has been virtually synonymous with “Democrat” but a new generation of voters is changing that. In her provocative new book Party Crashing, political commentator Keli Goff introduces America’s newest swing voter. Like soccer moms and Nascar dads before them, young, black voters born after the Civil Rights Movement are becoming increasingly up for grabs, politically speaking.

While the politics of their parents and grandparents were shaped by the Civil Rights Movement, Goff notes that the politics of her peers, members of the post-Civil Rights generation, have been shaped by a number of cultural influencers that transcend race; from “The Cosby Show,” to icons such as Oprah Winfrey, and the tragedy of 9/11. Civil rights has long been the defining political issue for black Americans but for this emerging generation of black voters, civil rights is now one issue among many that define their politics. As a result, they are challenging the idea that one’s skin color should color one’s political identity, and they are also challenging the idea that they should be Democrats.

Since the support of black Americans has been crucial to the success of democratic candidates–from Presidents Kennedy to Clinton–this shift could be one of the most important developments in modern politics, arguably as important as the Civil Rights movement itself. Along with the political shift occurring, Goff also examines the cultural shift that is taking place on a wide range of issues including: gay marriage, hip-hop, and the emergence of what Goff calls “Generation Obama.”

Through in-depth interviews with young, black voters, groundbreaking survey research, and conversations with a range of high profile Americans–from Colin Powell to Russell Simmons–Party Crashing explores the issues and people who have helped shape the politics of the post-Civil Rights Generation, and how this generation is reshaping America.

Can’t wait to get my hands on this book.

Oh boy oh boy I just can’t seem to stop yapping on this one.

But first, I’d like to frame this post with a note that I by no means believe that all opposition to Sen. Clinton is sexist in nature. And, as blogger Amanda Marcotte smartly notes, opposing sexist pandering against Sen. Clinton isn’t the same thing as endorsing her. (Even though I, in this case, did.)

That said, here are two pieces to share today in which I’m quoted yapping about Hillary, sexism, and media: The Guardian, Pavement Pieces.

As it turns out, I am SheSource’s “Expert of the Week.” I am always happy to speak about Hillary, but I am NOT into putting people down who support Obama. Especially women. And I hope other women speaking out publicly this week aren’t either. We got more important things to talk about. ‘Nuf said.

(Thank you, Gwen, for the heads up!)

Yesterday may have been Super Tuesday, but a week from tomorrow is Hallmark Thursday. And there’s some really interesting stuff out there right now on the love front.

Are you a twentysomething woman having trouble finding a twentysomething adult guy? Clearly, you’re not alone. Kay Hymowitz takes a look at “The Child-Man” in The Dallas Morning News, offering a nice roundup on how the average mid-twentysomething guy “lingers – happily – in a new hybrid state of semi-hormonal adolescence and responsible self-reliance,” leaving younger women who are already adults wanting.

Over at the WSJ, Sue Shellenbarger asks where’s the love and reports on college students who eschew romance. College life has become so competitive, and students so focused on careers, that many aren’t looking for spouses anymore, she says. Replacing college as the top marital hunting ground is the office. Which circles back to Helaine Olen’s new book, Office Mate: The Employee Handbook for Finding–and Managing–Romance on the Job–a timely title if ever there was one.

Still, even at the office, it’s just plain hard to find that match, as John Tierney reports in the New York Times. Tierney notes that while online matchmakers compete for customers using algorithms in the search for love, the battle has intrigued academic researchers who study the mating game.

And finally, for the latest on the sociology of hooking up, Kathleen A. Bogle, an assistant professor of sociology and criminal justice at LaSalle University, analyzes college sexual activity in a book called – guess what – Hooking Up: Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus.

Have at it folks!

(And thank you, CCF, for the summaries and links.)