Girl With Pen’s newest Guest Blog comes to you from the awesome Therese Shechter, documentary filmmaker of I Was a Teenage Feminist and The American Virgin. Here, Therese susses out the sexism in the retro TV fave, thirtysomething.
Was thirtysomething anti-feminist propaganda?
There’s been a recent outpouring of hype now that thirtysomething‘s first season is finally out on DVD. If you missed it, the show was an hour-long drama following the lives of a baby boomer-clique living in late-1980s Philadelphia. The show was so popular it even spawned a pithy new suffix of its own. (Twentysomething, fortysomething . . . You get the picture.)
I loved the show because it reflected my own life at the time as a young single career gal surrounded by married and breeding friends. (This was pre-history before Sex and the City). But the mirror it held up to me was warped and disturbing in a way I just couldn’t put my finger on … until I read Susan Faludi’s critique of the show in her 1991 book Backlash:
In ‘thirtysomething,’ a complete pantheon of backlash women is on display–from blissful homebound mother to neurotic spinster to ball-busting single career woman. The show even takes a direct shot at the women’s movement: the most unsympathetic character is a feminist.
Bingo. Through interviews and production materials, Faludi created an astonishing portrait of a show filled with a weirdly aggressive sexist agenda. For example, scripts were specifically written to make wife-and-mom Hope fail at any outside work she ever tried. Repeatedly — and laden with guilt — Hope returned back to husband, home, and child. And lest this plotline seem accidental, it was the clear intention of writer Liberty Godshall (wife of co-creator Edward Zwick) to urge women to stay home while their children were very young:
I wanted to tell women don’t try it–unless, one, you really need to, or you really really want to. Because while the successes are there, the failures and the guilt are there too.
Ironically, Mel Harris, the actress playing Hope, was back at work 9 months after having her real-life baby, stating that she felt she was a “better mother and better person†because she worked. Female viewers told market researchers that they wanted Hope to get a “real†job. The creators disagreed. Faludi quotes co-creator Marshall Herskovitz in a men’s magazine interview about his distress over the women’s movement:
I think this is a terrible time to be a man, maybe the worst time in history … Men come into the world with certain biological imperatives. Manhood has simply been devalued in recent years and doesn’t carry much weight anymore.
Although everyone on the show was miserable some of the time (my friends and I called it “thirtysufferingâ€) the single women got the worst of it. Melissa wasn’t given any backstory at all until actress Melanie Mayron created a photography career for her character. She was described simply as “man-hungry.” Faludi quotes Mayron as saying:
I remember that message of just because you’re a single woman you must be miserable. That’s not like me or any of my friends.
Career gal Ellyn was also a bitter caricature whose character development was helped only somewhat by the lobbying of actress Polly Draper. She recalls her audition where producers described Ellyn as:
the kind of person who was so irritating you would walk out of the room whenever she walked in. And they wanted her to worship Hope and want to be exactly like her. And I said, ‘Wait a minute, can’t she be okay in her own right?’
Apparently not. She was single and career-oriented, so who could ever love her? In fact, writer Liberty Godshall had considered making her a drug abuser but settled for a simple bleeding ulcer and being dumped by her boyfriend.
Gary, the lone single guy had a decidedly different arc, happily running through women without a neuroses in the world. In season two, he meets the feminist character Susannah. Faludi describes her as:
a social activist who works full-time in a community service center in the city’s ghetto, tending to homeless men and battered wives. Despite her selfless work, the show manages to portray her as inhumanly cold, a rigid and snarling ideologue with no friends.
After Gary gets her pregnant, she’s determined to get an abortion,
But then, at the clinic, she hears the biological clock ringing. “I’ve always put things off,” she confesses to Gary, tearily. “I just can’t make assumptions about the future anymore.” He is triumphant, and she has the baby.
After almost 20 years, I’ll probably find the show lame, with its late-1980s fashions and weirdly sexist messages about how I should live my life. Sad to think I ate it up back then — even with its sour after-taste.
Postscript:
Melissa Silverstein at Women & Hollywood wrote a excellent piece about the several talented women that came out of thirtysomething (although none quite achieved the same level of success as the men) and noted that Zwick and Herskovitz went on to create the groundbreaking yet short-lived series My So-Called Life. I loved that show and especially Claire Danes in the starring role. But I remember wondering about the characterization of her mother: A totally unpleasant and uptight career woman who spent most of her time verbally castrating her nice-guy husband. Now it all makes sense.
About the Author:
Therese Shechter is a filmmaker, writer and activist whose documentary I Was A Teenage Feminist is probably screening in a women’s studies class near you. She’s currently making a documentary about society’s attitudes towards virginity and writes the blog The American Virgin on the same subject. Her production company Trixie Films is based in Brooklyn. You can find Therese’s work on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, and more Facebook.
Comments 22
urbanartiste — August 27, 2009
I don't have any desire to watch this series. Thankfully I am Gen-x and was idolizing Madonna when this anti-feminist show was being aired. But I do remember a lot of sitcoms that had guilt storylines for the moms. It was so great watching TV show with successful, happy working mothers - The Cosby Show, Family Ties, Kate and Allie was somewhat.
Basically, there were a lot of other shows countering, specifically to children of Boomers, the antiquated attitudes towards women in Thirtysomething.
Therese Shechter — August 27, 2009
I never considered it anti-feminist when I watched it in the 1980s, probably because my consciousness had yet to be raised. I just remember being confused over and over again by the way they dealt with their lives.
My very favorite role model was Rhoda. I was positively devoted to as a teenager–I even decorated my bedroom to look like her apartment.
Paula Kamen — August 28, 2009
Hi Therese! At the risk of sounding like a reactionary Phyllis Schlafly type, I have to say I was and still am a big fan of the show, mainly because it ULTIMATELY became so interesting to watch, and dramatized so many everyday tensions of friendships that often don't get dramatized. I do recognize that the original producers' concepts of some women characters were very one-dimensional, but all the actresses really made them more complex and human and likable. And the story lines seemed to become more "progressive" as the seasons unfolded, such as at the end when Melissa goes to Hollywood and is a big hit there, appreciated for her real talent. Ultimately, the drama and the creativity of the directing and writing were often remarkable, such as when Gary suddenly died in a car accident (and not the Patricia Wettig character, Nancy, who had gone through a wrenching season of ovarian cancer). When Michael finds out about it, he is called away from a hospital bedside celebration of Nancy's recovery, and in the background a little boy releases a balloon, to show something is wrong. The funeral episode ended with the Susanna character driving away with a spot-on flashback of Gary in the front seat with her, and she was very tender, not brittle. They addressed lots of issues that are rarely dramatized and really create tensions between friends, like money, when Gary was an impoverished academic, and Michael sold out to advertising; they go out to dinner at a fancy restaurant and Horton just gets the Caesar salad, awkwardly. It was also often funny, such as with the vampire-like boss Miles. I just hope that the later seasons get released, to redeem some of the horrid ones from the first season.
James LA — August 28, 2009
Now I really want to watch the first season again, to see how blatant the agenda-pushing was. I wonder how I missed this issue entirely at the time. I can think of two reasons.
1. I was focused on the story arcs surrounding the guys' careers. The whole "Sun Tzu Art of War" storyline was fascinating . I guess this was the point. Men have exciting careers and women get to struggle with guilt and isolation.
2. We were thrown a curve by how well the actresses played their parts. I loved Melissa. What self-respecting gay man didn't? My affection for these characters clouded my understanding of the context in which they were being presented.
Maybe in a few years they'll make a "Mad Men" for the 1980's, and we'll get to see and enjoy these characters in an entirely different light.
jallen dc — August 28, 2009
Geez I missed a lot back then. I was a huge fan of the show, loved the single ladies and thought Saint Hope was the most boring character. I also think it was attractive because it was the same old story repackaged in young, hip, urban cover. I would like to watch again to see what I missed back then.
Julie Baker — August 28, 2009
My friends and I used to refer to the Mel Harris character as "No Hope" or "Hopeless." I do not miss this show or the very specific stereotypes of women it perpetuated.
Nancy Schwartzman — August 28, 2009
I never watched this show, it was too mature for me. I spent my time basically wishing I was Princess on Dance Party USA or one of Prince's tragic/gorgeous suffering back up singers. I guess sexually explicit and exploited drug addled female performers were more of my icons.
Was "Friends" a better model of female urban life?
Therese — August 28, 2009
Paula - I'm trying to picture you in a Schlafly red suit and bouffant hairdo! I agree the show got better as it went along and the single women got a somewhat better life (Melissa got a great career break and Ellyn got engaged to a nice guy). And the episode where Gary died was stunning. As I said, I loved the show and watched it religiously.
I think my problem was that I so wanted television to reflect my reality, that when that reflection was flawed I thought I needed to adjust my reality, not my TV reception.
James - Very interesting point about the kind of drama in the men's lives compared to the women's. Melissa was awesome - I just wanted her to be happier in her life.
Bonnie Anderson — September 8, 2009
Great analysis, Therese. Not that there are such wonderful female models today. I'm still wrestling with Joss Whedan's new show where the main character is brainwashed and forced to play a different part each week.
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Shira — September 10, 2009
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Harold McGowen — October 3, 2009
The series was not about ALL women or ALL men, it was about these particular characters. It was certainly not about YOU! There are women out there that find juggling motherhood and working difficult and who are not terribly successful in their jobs as a result. Not ALL women but some. It happens all the time; deal with it. Michael's business fails - does that mean that ALL men who start businesses have their businesses fail? Elliot cheats on his wife. Does that mean that ALL men cheat? No!
You form of feminism is just a form of sexism. You are basically saying that your are pro-female and anti-male right? Your beef with the show is that the women are not all perfect and the men are not all stupid beasts. You wanted a one-sided politcal agenda put forward and you did not get it.
From a maleists point of view then men look pretty bad; they were unfaithful, disloyal, immature, weak, and whiny. I never took it personally - they were just characters in a TV show.
Shira — October 6, 2009
@Harold:
I don't know what a maleist point of view means, but you hint at some important issues in regard to men and masculinity.
You express concern about a "one-sided political agenda" (your words). Why don't you consider thoughtfully submitting these ideas for a guest post at The Man Files column? Instructions are linked above under "Submit Your Ink."
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Melissa M. — January 3, 2010
I never watched the show when it was airing originally- I was a teenager at the time and not at all interested in the gripes of these "yuppies".
Fast forward to today: I am currently "thirtysomething" with twin toddlers, struggling with my own identity of motherhood vs. career. I have watched the first season with my husband on DVD and must say this: There are episodes that have brought me to TEARS. This show hits home for me. I struggle with my life just as Hope does, as cheesey as that may sound.
I am a Mother. I am a Wife. I am a Career-Oriented Woman. I am a Feminist. Don't confuse Hope's struggles to find her place in the world for the anti-feminist agenda of the creators of this show. Therese, your argument is well-thought out, but I simply think you neglect to consider the real-life struggles that so many women (even today, 20 years later). I am so glad I can watch this show now, and somehow, feel some consolation in knowing that I am not alone.
Therese — January 5, 2010
Melissa -
You make an excellent point about Hope's narrative arc, and as a childless woman (who never wanted kids), I didn't have a personal point of reference for Hope's character. But my very best friend was a mom with young kids and I felt I was the Melissa/Ellyn hybrid to her Hope. And as I said above, I adored the show!
I really wanted to relate to their lives - they were the first cool urban gals since Rhoda in the previous decade. But as much as I loved them and rooted for them, the show (writers) told me over and over again that even if you seemed cool, creative and fun, a single woman was doomed to lead a pathetic, unhappy, angry life.
Don't even get me started again on Susannah. If that's all I ever absorbed about what a feminist was, I'd hate them too. : )
I'd love to come over a watch a few episodes with you and trade notes!
Grown up « blue milk — June 20, 2010
[...] just discovered other feminists have been thinking about thirtysomething recently too. Well I never claimed to be original, or [...]
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Culture + Politics — May 1, 2012
[...] Something in her book, Backlash, followed by a few other women who joined the chorus. These writers had plenty to object to—all the unmarried, childless female characters [...]
Pozycjonowanie stron — April 9, 2013
I hardly leave a response, but I looked at a few of the remarks on this page GUEST POST: Thirtysomething  Sexist or Something? | Girl with Pen. I do have 2 questions for you if you tend not to mind. Could it be only me or does it look as if like some of these remarks come across like they are left by brain dead folks? :-P And, if you are writing at other online social sites, I'd like to keep up with you. Could you make a list of all of all your social sites like your linkedin profile, Facebook page or twitter feed?