Archive: Sep 2009

In The New Republic Online, “line of the day” post by Jonathan Cohn, see the “…back-and-forth at the Senate Finance hearings, between Jon Kyl, the Arizona Republican, and Debbie Stabenow, the Michigan Democrat. The subject is requirements that all insurance policies cover certain benefits.”

KYL: “I don’t need maternity care.”

STABENOW: “I think your mom probably did.”

Watch the video here.

As Jonathan Cohn comments on the exchange: “I’m hard-pressed to think of a single exchange that better captures the sensibilities of our two political parties–or the principle of shared risk upon which universal coverage is based.” (The Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee has taken note, as reported on TalkingPointsMemo, and has sent a fund raising letter to draw attention to the exchange–and how it reflects different values.)

Here, I’m stalled: I think Cohn’s excellent point is a kind of conversation stopper.
If we start from different principles, where do we go from here?

How about self interest and humanity? That’s where I’ll go. A very helpful article at Forbes.com reviews what health care reform means to women. In case you weren’t aware, most private insurance policies currently allow pregnancy as a pre-existing condition for exclusion from coverage. Most jurisdictions are able to have gender ratings that hike up charges for women over men.

Now lots of even the most pessmistic folks seem to think that health care reform at a minimum offers hope that we’ll make such “pre-existing condition” exclusions illegal and that we will establish community ratings that end subgroup ratings, like the gender one. That is the minimum, but I’m still holding out for Medicare for all, something that 65% of Americans favor, according to a recent Time/CBS poll. (yet we are still debating this because….?)

But there’s more: Columns like Adina Nack’s “HPM, Stress and the Inner Game” remind us about the important ways that health care is subjective–and those subjective aspects can cause negative (or positive) health outcomes. When we are disempowered, it wears us down, undermines the immune system. The overarching point of real health care reform is for us all to understand that, in the words of Deborah Lewis, “I do not believe that we earn our illnesses….” This suggests that women–and men too–should be empowered to seek and assert their need for care.

The dilemma is that in a world where it is “special treatment” to get preventative care, like mammograms (only 20 states require private insurance companies to cover these after age 40), or maternity care, or the like, such a personal empowerment view doesn’t get us all the way there. What gets us all the way there is health care for all. Maybe Macbeth would not care about it. But the rest of us, who have a mama, just might.

–Virginia Rutter

Writers these days–especially those of us writing for progressive outlets for little pay–need multiple revenue streams. Here’s a little plug for a 1-hour webinar being offered through SheWrites by the very woman who taught me everything I know about being a writing coach/consultant myself, the one and only Shari Cohen:

Become a Writing Coach/Consultant

The first in a series on recession-proofing your career as a writer, this webinar will help you navigate the future as a writer in these economically uncertain times. Perhaps you are already trying to make the transition from staff writer or freelancer to something that offers you more financial security, and wondering how you can expand your impact and your financial security at the same time. How can you continue to do the work you love in a new environment, one in which so many of the rules have changed? In this workshop you’ll begin to learn tools and tricks for developing yourself as a writing coach and consultant. This webinar will include some self-assessment to discover your niche, and reframing and expanding your own thinking and professional identity as you serve more and different clients. Subsequent webinars in this series will focus on the business side, market testing to discover the needs of your prospective clients, and practical tools for working as a writing coach.

To register, click here

What exactly is writing coaching you ask?  For a Q&A with Shari, click here.

Welcome to the first official post for Bedside Manners. As a sexual health researcher and book author, I receive a lot of emails from women and men who are dealing with sexually transmitted diseases. Yesterday, I replied to Liza, a 25 year-old married, monogamous woman who had just been diagnosed with a serious cervical HPV infection and treated via LEEP. She could not understand how this had happened, since she had been getting pap smears during her annual gynecological exams for the past 10 years, and her husband had never been diagnosed with genital warts. Her doctor told her it was “bad luck,” and now she is worried about the possibility of having an oral HPV infection, wondering whether her cervical infection is cured, and trying to figure out how to this will affect her marriage.

By getting annual pap smear exams, Liza has been doing the right thing. Unfortunately, most medical practitioners don’t explain that pap smears only sample a small area of a woman’s cervix. So, it is possible to receive a “normal” pap smear result when there are HPV-infected/abnormal cell changes in other portions of the cervix.

With Liza’s husband as her only sexual partner, it’s key for him to get thoroughly examined for HPV/genital warts. If HPV-infected cells are found, then he should have them removed via one of several treatment options. Once both of their bodies have healed from treatments, the couple should strongly consider using condoms during sex (note: condoms reduce but do not eliminate the risk of HPV transmission).

Given Liza’s concern about oral HPV, a ‘HPV test’ can determine the specific strain of the virus. HPV 16 has been linked to cervical cancer and to oral/head/neck cancers. So, an important follow-up exam after receiving a genital HPV diagnosis is to see a dentist: I encouraged her to share that she’s been exposed to HPV orally and request a thorough exam.

As I concluded my reply to Liza, I realized that I needed to address the stress that she was clearly experiencing. Medical sociologists have often written about how disease can cause dis-ease, an illness often causes a patient to lose her sense of wellbeing. In the case of socially stigmatizing and medically incurable infections, like HPV, stress is almost unavoidable for newly diagnosed patients. In my book, Damaged Goods?, I detail specific strategies for handling the variety of stressors that come with a genital HPV or herpes infection, but I’ve decided to wrap up today’s post with a general note about stress.

I was fortunate to attend a talk last night by the authors of a new book, The Inner Game of Stress. Tim Gallwey has teamed up with two physicians, who practice a patient-centered approach to integrative medicine, to combine medical research with his executive coaching techniques. The result is a thoughtful self-help approach to stress management that encourages readers to be assertive patients. As a medical sociologist, I have written about the health impacts of practitioner-patient interactions and was familiar with the body of research showing how stress can weaken a person’s immune system.

For people, like Liza, who are battling a virus, it is important to not only empower yourself with knowledge about your particular illness but also to strategize how to strengthen your immune system. In addition to the obvious recommendations of decreasing unhealthy behaviors and increasing healthy ones, I encouraged her to find sources of emotional and social support. Some who are facing a stigmatizing illness may find comfort by talking with trusted friends, while others may prefer the neutrality of a therapist, and many may find empowerment in a book. 

Blogger and career guru (and newly married friend!) Marci Alboher just posted about my Recessionwire column, Love in the Time of Layoff, over at Yahoo’s Shine.  Her piece is titled “When Your Man or Woman Gets Laid Off.” Writes Marci (and oh how I heart her for so many reasons):

The column is so readable because it talks stuff few people are talking about. Like what happens to a heterosexual relationship when a woman suddenly becomes the sole breadwinner, what happens when someone who’s used to office culture suddenly gets used to the rhythms of home life, how two people (one of whom is pregnant with twins) can avoid driving each other batty when suddenly confined to a 650 square foot apartment.

Like any good serial narrative, Love in the Time of Layoffs had a major plot twist this month: Marco is back to work, albeit in a freelance gig. Questions abound for interested readers. Will he keep the job? Will the couple inch back into their former patterns again? What will happen once the babies arrive …..?

Good question.  Time (like, gulp, hopefully 4 more weeks) shall tell….!

The brilliant Colleen Jameson penned the following tips and generously gave permission to Girl With Pen to republish them. You can read more at No, Not You.

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work!

1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.

2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!

3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!

4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.

5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!

6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.

8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!

10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.

And, ALWAYS REMEMBER: if you didn’t ask permission and then respect the answer the first time, you are committing a crime- no matter how into it others appear to be.

P.S. Thanks to Ampersand for the pingback that put these tips on our radar.

A quick note about why it’s been so quiet over here this past week: We’ve been under construction…and I’ve been, um, on bedrest with early contractions but so far doing ok.  Please bear with us!  A host of new columns and new bloggers are coming SOON.  Here’s a sneak peak at just some of the brand new monthly columns coming down the pike:

Gender Specs (Leslie Heywood, Editor): the latest on gender analysis in evolutionary psychology and other sciences

Bedside Manners (Adina Nack, Editor): applying the sociological imagination to medical topics, with a special focus on sexual and reproductive health

Body Language (Alison Piepmeier, Editor): Because control of our bodies is central to feminism. (“It is very little to me to have the right to vote, to own property, etc., if I may not keep my body, and its uses, in my absolute right.” –Lucy Stone, 1855)

Global Mama (Heather Hewett, Editor: myths and realities of motherhood and family life in a globalized world

Mama w/Pen (Deborah Siegel, Editor): reflections on emergent motherhood, feminist and otherwise

Stay tuned!!

Sticks and stones my break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

A rhyme I’m sure we’ll all familiar with, perhaps one that we hurled back at someone teasing us as kids. We teach our kids that words don’t hurt, when we know darn well that they do. And science has proved over and over that words impact the way that we take tests and perform in the classroom (anywhere actually). It’s called stereotype threat:

…the fear that one’s behavior will confirm an existing stereotype of a group with which one identifies. This fear can sometimes affect performance.

One recent study [pdf] on stereotype threat had women taking math tests and looking for the cause of poor performance due to the threat.

Because it is not enough to say we know stereotype threat exists and then lather women and other stereotyped groups with love. Why does a woman excellent in math crumble under the weigh of mentioning that “girls don’t do math” before an exam? It seems that our brains spend precious time and energy sorting out our feelings about the stereotype during the exam AND not just that, but it lingers. Thus if we fear the math in a class, say economics, we will fear everything that goes with economics.

We know that economics and statistics is far more than just algebra and geometry, but if that is our weak spot, we will focus so much on that, that we just might submarine our efforts. During graduate school the #1 class that caused students to flunk out was stats. During that year long course (two semesters!) I heard women say time and again, “I’m just not good at math.” My program had also experimented with teaching a math prep course using a computer program before the semester started. Despite the fact that I am a total math geek and my favorite class in high school was geometry (Mmmm….proofs….) and I have a bachelors in science, I was floored at how much basic algebra had rotted away over the years. I am pretty ashamed that I can’t just tell you what sine and cosine mean off the top of my head.

But here’s something I learned in my years working in a lab as an undergraduate: Scientists have reference books on hand. They aren’t doing science off the top of their brilliant heads. Yes, they have it pretty much in their heads, but when it comes time to do an experiment or calculate the frequency of fish fins flapping, they reach for a book or list of formulas. Scientists being pure geniuses is a stereotype!

Lesson? You do need to remember how to calculate wavelength during an exam, but once you get past that, you can whip out that formula sheet anytime. Yes, you will need to know certain things off the top of your head, but when you study the same molecule over 20 years, things will start to stick.

The next time you sit down at that math exam  and you start to sweat, stop and breathe. Remember that you are you. If you miss one problem, no biggie. No one is perfect. But do you want to spend your energy remembering that one jerk teacher who said you can’t do it or do you want to prove to yourself how much you kick ass? OK, so maybe love does have a place in killing off stereotypes.

PEACE.
It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.

In spite of myself (or maybe because of myself, as Marco might say) I’ve somehow made it to the cusp: the third trimester. The home stretch. Music to my ears. I can’t imagine how it’s possible that my body itself will stretch further to make room for these growing babes—2.10 lbs each as this trimester begins, as good as singletons at this stage, huzzah! But I have confidence my body will still expand, even if it continues to choke me out along the way.

Just as I believe my body will continue do its bizarre miraculous thing in spite of what I think or say or do (pu pu pu), I’m slowly starting to have confidence that my intractable mind will stretch to incorporate motherhood, too. I still need some convincing on this front, but things are looking up.

As usual, it’s friends, parents, and spouse who are helping me believe. The other weekend, Daphne, her mother-in-law, my mom, and Marco helped shovel out boxes from the storage room—I mean, babies’ room—to clear space for two new beings. Once I could see the floor in there, I immediately started fantasizing about a rug. A sickeningly sweet baby-style area rug with clouds and moons and stars. “Of all things the babies will need, you’re fixated on a rug?” asks my wonderfully practical friend Rebecca from California. Indeed, I am. It’s the first bit of gear I’ve been able to get excited about, now that I believe these babies are going to be real. This weekend, I picked one out. I ordered it. No small victory here.

The rug makes it real. The fact that at 7.5 months with twins I look ready to pop makes it real. During trimesters 1 and 2, I grew reluctantly accustomed to a sense of the surreal, the unreal, the insane. It’s not a comfortable state of being; I’ve resisted it every step of the way. The reality—two babies growing limbs and organs and fingernails inside me—has been too much to fathom, leaving me barfing with vertigo, body and soul. Working at a start-up this whole time has been a terrific distraction, and while frenetic, in many ways its timing couldn’t have been better. It’s given my mind something all-encompassing to do.

But now it’s time to start putting my feet on the ground, feel the rug beneath me, find a way to steady my head long enough to find a pediatrician and buy a crib.

The rug. The crib. The changing table. The trappings of two babyhoods that have not yet arrived are symbolic, and yet they are more. They are signs of my belief, material affirmations of the unbelievable coming true. Today, Daphne gave me two pairs of booties (pictured above). The babies have hiccups. I believe they are going to make it to reality. And I believe their mother just might too.

(Gratitude to Sarah Saffian for sending me the epigraph to this post.)