As folks know, Marco got laid off this week. Personally and as a nation, I think we are in a state of shock.  As neighbors and loved ones learn about layoffs and others tremble in anticipation as they face another tenuous day on the job, we need to create space for holding and expressing our joint grief, panic, and rage. There is a presence in anger, and we need to hold accountable those who are ultimately responsible, namely Wall Street and George Friggin W. Bush.
But Marco and I are also keeping faith.
Marco got the news on Wednesday and his last day is today. We’ve spent most of the week huddled together, asking how each other is doing, reminding ourselves of all that we do have—our health, cherished friends who rushed to email their contacts, family members who offered the promise of loans should we need them, a roof over our heads, love, and more. We had just started looking for a larger apartment, but instead of going to open houses this Sunday, we’ll head to IKEA to find me a desk. We’ll need intermediary health care fast, as we’ve got medical expenses this year, we’ll stop eating out, I’ll work more hours. I’m overwhelmed, but no one has died. Our lives go on. As one wise friend said to me yesterday over the phone, “This is a Fucking Stressful Bummer.â€Â It’s an FSB indeed. A lot to handle, but hopefully that is all.
The reaction from loved ones is striking. “You know that’s my greatest nightmare,†wrote one, unable to contain her own fear. Another emailed, “My friend’s husband got laid off in late October and by November he had found a job that was WAY better. This is tough, but I am going to remember that hopeful example when thinking about what’s in store for Marco.â€
In the emails that continue to pour in with leads, in the Facebook responses, and in comments on here on this blog, I find hope.
And while Marco and I are busy trying to “fix†the problem that’s hit our personal lives and embrace this moment as a springboard for innovation and change, there are many families and individuals for whom this current crisis constitutes a breaking point. My heart goes out to each and every one of them. I pray that we will not be among the broken, and that this experience will strengthen us, a newly married couple, as we forge on.
And yes, I am also EXTREMELY pissed. As one friend emailed, “Thank you Dubya. You’re the gift that keeps on giving.”
Let me tell you, I count the days left til that useless old gift goes back to the store.
Comments
Bob Lamm — January 9, 2009
I wish all the best for Deborah and Marco and everyone who has lost a job, who is fearful of losing a job, who has lost a good part of their savings, or who is otherwise struggling during this very difficult time for so many of us.
gwp_admin — January 9, 2009
Thank you for your thoughtful words and wishes, Bob!
Patti Binder — January 15, 2009
Hey Deborah!
I have been thinking of you-- your honesty about what's happening and your ability to write about it on a day to day basis are really amazing and inspiring. No doubt you and Marco are resilient and will have what it takes to get through this on the other side, perhaps even in a better position. If I can do anything-- let me know! I'd be happy to!
The recession sucks-- and it amplifies everyone's fears. In the non profit world, where I live, the loss of state contracts in the wake of Paterson's proposed budget, the increased competition for foundation dollars as their endowments take hits, or close all together in the case of Picower and Jeht-- (all of their money was tied up in Madoff) we are now all "bunkering down" in your words, running numbers, strategizing, crying, hoping, praying, and as always, working, working, working, and remembering the reason we do the work-- the girls we serve.
Sometimes I feel my mind running all of the terrible what if scenarios..and I feel like its what people used to say about terrorism, you know, if you are afraid to go outside than "they've won already." I wasn't one to be wrapped up in fear and paranoia around the terrorism thing, but I do feel that its good to stop obsessing and worrying (but thinking and strategizing) or "they will have won already." I refuse to let the Madoffs and the Bushes and the Cheneys win in my personal world--
ramble, ramble...at any rate, thinking of you!
Patti
Deborah Siegel — January 15, 2009
Patti, thank you for your support and for sharing YOUR own resilience story. I am off to post your comment as a post... XO