Had to peek my head outside the void once more to note that the top-emailed story on the New York Times website is about the “demise of dating”–yet another shocker of an article that misconstrues, simplifies, and wags its finger at the state of teenage sexuality. Read it here if you must.
The great thing about this one is that while it profoundly sums up teenage dating, or the lack thereof, as “sad,” Charles Blow, the author, hasn’t appeared to have spoken with one teenager about this issue–instead relying on the latest research. Of course, he provides no context for this research. And he plays into gender stereotypes, claiming that cons of hooking up “center on the issues of gender inequity. Girls get tired of hooking up because they want it to lead to a relationship (the guys don’t), and, as they get older, they start to realize that it’s not a good way to find a spouse.” Clearly guys aren’t interested in ever finding a spouse themselves. It’s truly amazing the number of strict binaries set up in this article: hooking up vs. dating (and never the twain shall meet); girl perspectives vs. guy perspectives; sad vs. not sad.
I don’t mind research into this “phenomenon,” (scare quotes very much intended), but this research is too often used to bolster scolding lectures, and researchers, or those who use the research for polemics, need tell us where this data is coming from: what age group, geography, socioeconomic status, etc, and acknowledge, even analyze, how this may play into their results.
Ok, back into the void. See you all in a week.
–Kristen
Comments
anniegirl1138 — December 16, 2008
Have teens and young adults always "dated" in packs? I can't recall this golden age of dating that is so often lamented as a bygone era because I don't think it existed.
I was a teen - a long time ago - and back then we got to known boys/guys in the large settings and then we gradually paired off. Personally, I think that has always been the norm.
As for the sex aspect, people have always had premarital relations despite the right wing spin on it now and I would guess that more relationships than not begin with chemistry than Leave it to Beaver Dating scenarios.
Urbanartiste — December 16, 2008
I think these critics writing about teen dating are not presenting the right questions. I have to agree that these types of articles alarmist iwthout much substance. Young people today are waiting longer to get married due to a variety of reasons, education and economics being only two. Historically, the age of marrying has fluctuated from early twenties to early thirties dramatically over decades. I think the delay in getting married has now affected the way teens think about dating. Today we are more open about sexuality, so it is either occurring more or being talked about more socially.