Some of you may have noticed that I’ve been a bit MIA lately from the site (and profuse apologies — I feel completely out of the loop because of it all), but I have a bunch PhD apps due and a conference that I’m running coming up in the next couple of weeks.
What I am about to post requires much more thought and consideration than I can muster up right now, but everyone should go and check out the recent article in The Atlantic about transgender children, the question of the parents’ role, various theories by doctors, and of course the age old question of nurture vs. nature (response: a little bit of both, perhaps, but each appearing in different formations in different people so that it’s possible to predicate any assumptions/prejudices/stereotypes on this).
Go look at the article here. It’s worth a read.
Jill at Feministe has some excellent analysis on the matter, especially one doctor’s particular take on the role of the mother in “gender-identity disorders” as he so terms it.
Writes the Atlantic reporter of a family who took this doctor’s advice and theory:
When they reversed course, they dedicated themselves to the project with a thoroughness most parents would find exhausting and off-putting. They boxed up all of John’s girl-toys and videos and replaced them with neutral ones. Whenever John cried for his girl-toys, they would ask him, “Do you think playing with those would make you feel better about being a boy?†and then would distract him with an offer to ride bikes or take a walk. They turned their house into a 1950s kitchen-sink drama, intended to inculcate respect for patriarchy, in the crudest and simplest terms: “Boys don’t wear pink, they wear blue,†they would tell him, or “Daddy is smarter than Mommy—ask him.†If John called for Mommy in the middle of the night, Daddy went, every time.
Writes Jill:
Well that sounds helpful — just teach him that girls are stupid and weak and then he won’t want to be one.
Exactly, let’s just initiate a whole different kind of “disorder” as a result. The focus on the mother as the source of the “problem” is of course an old trope– in the Fifties, for example, it was though that Autism was caused by frigid mothers. I had hoped we had gotten beyond that.
Ok, that’s it for tonight. I’ve missed writing more frequently on this site and will be back soon!
–Kristen
Comments 3
A bit sick and struggling. « The Sky is Falling — December 5, 2008
[...] other news, check out this article on Girl With Pen: http://girlwpen.com/?p=1382. It’s amazing how transphobic and misogynistic people can be. [...]
Christen — December 5, 2008
I'm a little torn about your post here. It's a little misleading. The Atlantic article was about...a bazillion pages long. That picture doesn't correspond to the story snippet that you included and the story snippet is just one bit of the article!
The article itself was incredibly enlightening, especially for one (me!) who was very much involved in the GLBT movement in a liberal arts college and felt pretty well groomed in trans issues, but didn't know about puberty blockers. I think that the queer community has a tendency to focus on those of us that are older and those issues that effect those of us that are writing, so it was great to see this article about how families are tacking "the trans issue" especially when it is seen as an issue in smaller folksy towns!
That bit about Dr. Zucker was incredibly disheartening and the line about saying Daddy is smarter than mommy and mommy will tell you that absolutely FLOORED me, but let's give it context! That was one bit in an otherwise uplifting article about trans kids in America, Canada and the Netherlands. (It's your busyness right? That's why it didn't have context? That's why I'm coming out of the woodwork to give it context.)
BTW, I saw Deborah at Drake last night and enjoyed the talk. Although, a little disappointed that the one feminista of color in the audience was not called on to ask her question.
Paul Raeburn — December 6, 2008
The silly--and possibly quite damaging--rules set up by these parents are lacking in one important thing: respect for the child's intelligence. As the father of a two-year-old, I'm surprised every day by something Henry says that is more sophisticated and more insightful than what I thought he was capable of. I wouldn't try to explain transgender issues to a two-year-old, but I also wouldn't tell him that daddy is smarter than mommy, or that girl toys are a bad thing to play with.