Douglas Langston [langston@levitshaw.oceanea]
11/26/2073 14:35:22.4
RE: ugh these adverts FWD: Claim The Life You Want
You sick fuck why did you do that?
Douglas Langston
Associate Contracted Operations Manager
Levit//Shaw Cloud Services
45a: @Doug_Langston
t: langston@levitshaw.oceanea
sarah caldana [sara_c@thread.fuck]
11/26/2073 13:14:08.7
RE: ugh these adverts FWD: Claim The Life You Want
i know it hurts and i’m so sorry. i love you i love you i love you. but i know this is what its gonna take. we’re not wrong. if it makes you feel any better (i know it won’t) my shoulder hurts like a son of a bitch. i had no idea… i don’t think something healed quite right. maybe nerve damage. i’m typing this lying on the floor in my apartment. my lower back hurts something fierce too. looks like i’m literally gonna take this lying down. hope the cops that find me are feeling their own injuries. i bet every cop out there has a torn rotator cuff and one tumor for every bullet in the chamber by now. haha. i love you and will miss you so much. -s
Douglas Langston [langston@levitshaw.oceanea]
11/26/2073 11:35:22.4
RE: ugh these adverts FWD: Claim The Life You Want
Just thought I should let you know.. I checked the news and it doesn’t look like they found you yet. Fuck this hurts. It came backk 20 min ago. Its faded a little and I found some stuff in my desk that’s really old and dry but is taking the edge off. Either they’ve gotten worse or I just forgot what they felt like. Staring at this screen is helping a little but maybe that’s just because i’m distracted. Everything is blurry..
I guess I understand why you did it but I don’t know if I can forgive you. You wouldn’t have done this if you’d seen my mother in that bed. All those tubes and machines. Getting rid of this network isn’t going to mean less machines I can tell you that.
Hope thiss made it to you ok. I know your good at getting text through. Hell if you can get a piece of paper half way across a continent you can probably get some bits out there. I’ll visit you if Apothecary or my head lets me. Love you so much in spite of yourself
Douglas Langston
Associate Contracted Operations Manager
Levit//Shaw Cloud Services
45a: @Doug_Langston
t: langston@levitshaw.oceanea
sarah caldana [sara_c@thread.fuck]
11/26/2073 9:04:55.9
RE: ugh these adverts FWD: Claim The Life You Want
you might be right but i still believe in what we did. this is for the greater good, i know it. Wish I could hear your voice but they’ve already shut off every voice app i have. love -s
Douglas Langston [langston@levitshaw.oceanea]
11/26/2073 8:50:07.7
RE: ugh these adverts FWD: Claim The Life You Want
Jesus Christ Sarah what have you done? Do you really think “we’re going to experience it together?” I still forget sometimes how young you are and what you haven’t experienced. all the violence is hidden behind walls and asterisks for you isn’t it? The rich will keep healthy while the rest of us suffer for what you’ve done. Thats the way these sorts of things always go. You used to be able to see the pain in people’s eyes. Used to see what poverty did to people. How it physically beat you down and changed you. Now it’s all hidden. Maybe you did show us that. But at what cost Sarah? Who are you to make that decision for everyone? To just turn off something that has benefited billions of people for nearly a decade? I did check my Apothecary profile and sure enough I’ll probably get one of those old headaches sometime today or tomorrow. They seem to be fairly regular. I will always love you but god damnit you had no right. No right.
Douglas Langston
Associate Contracted Operations Manager
Levit//Shaw Cloud Services
45a: @Doug_Langston
t: langston@levitshaw.oceanea
sarah caldana [sara_c@thread.fuck]
11/26/2073 7:35:45.7
RE: ugh these adverts FWD: Claim The Life You Want
i hope you read this before 9 today. look i know we disagree about pain management stuff but i don’t think you know how much i care about this. i went to the open house last night but i went to do something kind of drastic. there’s a couple of us and we really think this is the best way to go. nothing is going to get done about these poisons unless we feel the effects of them. all of us. the network will experience a cascade failure in about an hour and a half when the server resets. all of the tumors all of the nerve damage, we’re going to experience it together and hopefully get through it together.
the other message you got was one of billions. i added a quick note to yours but everyone with an active apothecary account just got their own information too. we found a way to dump the confidential database through the share function.
i wish i could tell you this in person, or at least on paper, but this is the only way i can right now. they have weird names for everything in the confidential db but its pretty straight-forward: conditional activators are what’s causing the pain that the apothecary device suppresses. i looked it up and i think cyclohexa-1,3,5-triene is benzene. it gets in your blood. the estimated service span is how long they predict you will live. the numbers go years months and days. i’m so sorry i really wish i could be there with you. wish we could have done this somewhere closer. but it had to be done soon, before stuff gets even worse.
i should tell you i also did this because i want a little magic in the world. that’s weird to say isn’t it? but i dunno, there used to be a time when bad knees told the weather and back aches were massaged away by lovers. i want to experience that, maybe just for a little while. i want to feel something painful in my body and not know why. i want to feel the relief when it goes away on its own. because i took care of myself. because my body healed itself the way it is supposed to. that’s the way we’re supposed to live. not like this.
hope you find some place comfortable to lie down. those headaches only came about twice a month right? who knows maybe you have a week or so before you feel anything. check your apothecary profile while it is still up and see when your last headache was reported. kyle reminded all of us before we set out last night that apothecary is fully insured… you know what that means. i probably won’t see you again. we couldn’t figure out how to mask our entry point to the network so i’m expecting some angry visitors in riot gear in a couple of hours. i’m sorry and i love you. -s
Apothecary™ Stimuli Management Networks
11/26/2063 01:42:00
THE ROMANTICS Just Shared a Health Stat with You!
OrgKey: g4gsu45TRUST77sdg
Hello,
THE ROMANTICS wanted to show you the progress she’s made in the following:
PATIENT: Langson, Douglas
CONDITIONAL ACTIVATORS: Cyclohexa-1,3,5-triene
SUPPRESSORS: cytochrome P450 2E1 compiler
ESTIMATED SERVICE SPAN: 02 11 231
Comments:
will send another message soon. love you.
Douglas Langston [langston@levitshaw.oceanea]
11/25/2073 14:35:22.4
RE: ugh these adverts FWD: Claim The Life You Want
Have fun tonight! I hear those parties can be really raucous. Brilliant marketing when you think about it: get the young ones to party hard in a geo-fenced Complete Care package so when they leave the party the next morning they think long and hard about spending the extra money to never feel a hangover again. I was always an ecstasy and weed man myself… You feel really drained in the morning but at least you don’t want to claw your eyes out.
I’m sorry, I know you don’t like to hear about an old man’s escapades. But sometimes it seems as though I have to describe parties the way I have to describe the taste of tuna or full highways. Its funny, you think those things will be around forever, if not grow bigger. As if, one day, adolescence will end at midlife crises and each highway will be seven lanes of stop and go. But people your age are so stern. You seem to think just because we can manage our pain we’ve lost some kind of grand perspective. I’d say its almost the opposite– none of you expect anything to last! You’d be nostalgic for tomorrow’s breakfast if I described it to you well enough.
And I really can’t believe you’ve never known the joys of eating tuna from a metallic pouch. It sounds ridiculous but it was really remarkable when you think about it. There’d be a news story now or then that mentioned mercury and of course pregnant women weren’t supposed to eat it but you could pick it up at the register next to batteries and candy bars! It was everywhere and somehow I guess that made it feel like it was, I dunno, beyond safe. We liked to call things “too big to fail” back in the day. I guess it was kind of like that. Or at least we hoped it was.
Douglas Langston
Associate Contracted Operations Manager
Levit//Shaw Cloud Services
45a: @Doug_Langston
t: langston@levitshaw.oceanea
sarah caldana [sara_c@thread.fuck]
11/25/2073 14:06:08.7
RE: ugh these adverts FWD: Claim The Life You Want
omg angry aches! i couldn’t even talk to you when you had your headaches. you were like a different person! so mean! and yeah i know it’s good that people don’t waste away trying to poison tumors and stuff but it totally lets governments take their time on the plastics sequestering. in some places its even voluntary. you know i’m not cool with officers coming into homes and shit but pvc is everywhere and i don’t trust people to know what needs to be taken away. and private dumps not doing anything about their plastic is just nuts. and of course no one is taking it seriously when all we can track is the average life span. i don’t buy the whole “client confidentiality” thing. there’s nothing wrong with just saying how many people died from what disease. they have that information, its how they can turn off pain in the first place!
today i saw someone fall out of a chair right in the middle of eating a sandwich. they were screaming about how much their body hurt all over. their friend didn’t even touch them. they just grabbed their phone and altered their friend’s apothecary account status. doesn’t that creep you out?! that we don’t comfort bodies anymore, we just change some settings?
i get that the olds need some relief but i’m sill unconvinced that a global proprietary data network is really the only way to solve it. there were some really promising old-school pharma trials back in the 20s that i read about. seems like some funding could go to that instead of all these subsidies to apothecary. but maybe i’ll be convinced. i’m actually gonna go to one of those fancy-pants open houses of theirs this evening to meet kyle. I want to try out can<>free on this ankle. -s
Douglas Langston [langston@levitshaw.oceanea]
11/25/2073 13:35:22.4
RE: ugh these adverts FWD: Claim The Life You Want
Sarah,
You screamed and screamed about that broken shoulder. I bet you would have signed up for Apothecary in an instant if you could have back then! And yeah, older people like me would be in a world of pain without their services. The way I see it, pain management networks don’t get in the way of the plastics sequestering projects and maybe no one is living to 85 or 90 the way my parents did but I remember stories of people living the whole last decade of their lives in beds and on dozens of medications that’d make Apothecary look like a basic media stream subscription. Why not put the mute button on the joint pain? I’m okay with trading 20 years of my life so long as all 60 years are good ones. I certainly don’t miss those headaches I used to get. What did you call them? Angry Aches?
And “watered down” seems a little disingenuous don’t you think? We’re codifying what my generation did and why not. You Romantics always think we’re taking something away from you! All you’re missing are confusing medical bills and people complaining about gluten. Oh, and some really great parties.
Douglas Langston
Associate Contracted Operations Manager
Levit//Shaw Cloud Services
45a: @Doug_Langston
t: langston@levitshaw.oceanea
sarah caldana [sara_c@thread.fuck]
11/25/2073 12:44:08.7
RE: ugh these adverts FWD: Claim The Life You Want
she did always have a hard time getting over stuff. its like she’s not even paying attention to her own ridic headlines about those “innovative” states offering indefinite unions alongside marriage contracts. how can you be pissed about a divorce and love the idea of watered-down marriage contracts?!?!?!?
anyway, i know you worry but these companies are so stupid! like, i get that without apothecary i would have had probably three or four surgeries by now and that would have sucked but that’s what doing dangerous things is about. sometimes you lose big time! when I broke my collar bone and apothecary service wasn’t in montana yet it hurt a lot but i kinda learned something from it…? i dunno. it all just seems so unnatural now. like we’re living with too few consequences, disconnected from our own bodies. i know there’s all those people your age with dioxin poisoning but shouldn’t we be getting rid of all that plastic stuff instead of paying some company to monitor our bodies and change what we feel? i don’t want to check a profile anymore. maybe those magazines are right and my generation is too romantic for its own good! will keep an eye on those estimated pain averages. -s
Douglas Langston [langston@levitshaw.oceanea]
11/25/2073 11:38:52.4
RE: ugh these adverts FWD: Claim The Life You Want
Sarah,
Ha! That might be my favorite yet! You should really keep your medical history clean though. Would if something happened to you? Do you want an EMT going through your phone looking for your conditions to find a bunch of jokes or life saving information? You’ll be lying on the pavement bleeding and they won’t know your median brain swelling figures. You’d probably think that was funny though, wouldn’t you?
In all seriousness, hope your ankle gets better. I did get your letter (I opened it near a trash can that had what must have been a two-day old chicken sandwich so I wasn’t smelling much else, sorry) and I distinctly remember those vivid photos you sent me. Your ankle looks like a freakin’ bag of plums. Yuck. Take good care of yourself, remember to check your profile. Read today that you should really ease up after you average 30 network connections. And you thought my “stop at 45!” was draconian!
Just saw your mother at the work lounge on Pearl. She seemed happy up until the part where she saw me! We’re gonna be just fine though. I think the hardest part is going to be seeing someone that looks so much like my daughter staring at me with contempt. You were so quick to find better targets for your distain than dear old dad.
Love,
Douglas Langston
Associate Contracted Operations Manager
Levit//Shaw Cloud Services
45a: @Doug_Langston
t: langston@levitshaw.oceanea
sarah caldana [sara_c@thread.fuck]
11/25/2073 11:19:20.7
ugh these adverts FWD: Claim The Life You Want
can you believe this kitsch horseshit? I told you that clinic that lets you edit your own patient notes would result in some primo lulz tho.
how are you doing btw? did you get my letter? i know you think it costs a lot to go pick up a real piece of paper from fedex but trust me its worth it. you can almost smell the person that sent it. its really cool.
in it you’ll see some printed out photos of my most recent roller derby trophy. haha, i’m really thinking of getting six free months of pain relief on this thing. its just easier than telling a pharmacist that you actually want acetaminophen. you used to be able to just buy that anywhere, right? you lived in a better time!
-s
——-
Apothecary™ Stimuli Management Networks
11/21/2073 5:15:00
Claim The Life You Want
OrgKey: g4gsu45TRUST77sdg
sarah,
In only ten short years our team and Founding Allies have changed the lives of billions of people. Together we enable people to live full lives for as long as nature will let them. It has been tremendously rewarding work and we are humbled by the messages we receive day in and day out telling us how children who would have spent short lives in beds were given the opportunity to live the life of a child. New, life-extending medications are coming out every day and together we can achieve something that the human race has sought since the first harvest: a long and pain-free life.
Today we are contacting you because of a new service we are offering that we call CAN<>FREE. After a full six months of research, development, and human-equivalent testing we have extended our patented chronic pain neutralization technology to muscular tissues in the knee all the way down to your smallest extensor digitorum brevis muscles. We heard from your dedicated clinic specialist that just four months ago your $hit kicker needed attention due to a repeat stress injury caused by kicking the greed out of old money fascists. CAN<>FREE might be able to help you.
As an existing member, your National Health Credit Account covers the first six months of a CAN<>FREE subscription. On the seventh month we will add this new product to your existing rolling allowance so you can pay at your convenience!*
Apothecary is dedicated to eliminating pain and discomfort for the billions of people that suffer from undiagnosed environmental disorders, syndromes, and repetitive stress injuries. We have already prevented nearly a quarter of a trillion micro-surgeries to date with just one simple implantable device. No more knives, no more complicated medications with side-effects. Just pain-free living.
Message us today on any major platform and a specialist will activate CAN<>FREE on your account. You could be living pain-free in as little as two hours. So go ahead and Claim The Life You Want.
-Your Friends at Apothecary
*National data rates apply. First 100gb at $0.25 and $5.00 per 1,000 connections. Federal reporting requirements require us to disclose the following: We send balance sheets to collections and enforcement bureaus after an unpaid balance of $10,000 or more is sustained for six months or balance reaches $100,000, whichever comes first. Apothecary™ Stimuli Management Networks Incorporated is licensed and insured for capital punishment penalties and is a member of the Bonds & Parole Providers LLC.