American attitudes toward marriage and divorce are changing. In a recent survey, 40% of Americans said they were pessimistic about the future of marriage and the family, and only one-quarter said that having children or being married was very important to having a fulfilling life. Indeed, only about 10% of Americans think that getting married or having children are extremely important as a milestone for adulthood. Americans have held tolerant views of divorce for a while, and a recent Gallup poll shows that 81% of Americans think that divorce is morally acceptable.

Given these shifts in attitudes, we recently conducted a study of attitudes towards marriage and divorce when children are involved. We use data from the American Marriage Survey, conducted across the United States in late summer 2021. The survey includes 2,789 American adults. We created an attitudinal measure to see whether people hold one of the following views:

• Pro-institutionalization attitudes: those who agree that couples who have children should get married and should try to stay married for the sake of their children.
• Marriage deinstitutionalization attitudes: those who do not agree that couples who have children should get married but agree that people should try to stay married for the sake of their children.
• Divorce deinstitutionalization attitudes: those who agree that couples should get married but do not agree that people should stay married for the sake of their children.
• Transformational deinstitutionalization attitudes: those who do not think people should get married or stay married for children.

What do Americans think about marriage and divorce?

A majority of Americans (55%) disagree that people should get married and stay married if children are involved. A little more than one-fifth of Americans (22%) think that couples with children should get married but also think that people don’t need to stay married for their children. Only 16% of Americans are what we might call “traditional” in that they think people should get and stay married for the sake of their children. All in all, people are generally okay with the idea that marriage is not really necessary even when children are involved.

Who is more likely to think people with children don’t need to get married or stay married?

• Women – cis women are 2.7 times as likely as men to think that people with children don’t need to get married or stay married (a similar pattern exists for trans and nonbinary individuals, but it was not significant).
• LGB adults – gay and lesbian adults are 2.4 times as likely and bisexual and pansexual adults are 3.7 times as likely as heterosexual adults to think that people with children don’t need to get married or stay married.
• People who are not married – those who are cohabiting are 1.7 times as likely and those who are divorced or separated are 1.5 times as likely as married individuals to think that people with children don’t need to get married or stay married.

What are the implications of these findings?

We provide evidence of transformative change in Americans’ views as not only do a majority of people support divorce, but this coexists with attitudes that are supportive of not marrying even when children are involved. Attitudes are often linked with behaviors. While there has been a lot of attention to the prevalence of divorce over the last few decades, the concern over declines in marriage may rise as fewer people get married. According to the American Community Survey, 25% of 40-year-old Americans have never married. The US has historically attached many benefits to marriage related to tax, social security, insurance, and public assistance. With clear evidence that people do not feel the need for marriage even when children are involved, there should be more attention paid to policies that provide benefits regardless of marital status. Families come in all shapes and sizes, and there is greater need for policies addressing health care, housing, and multi-parent custody. Finally, there should be consideration of access to legal status and connections that may tie people together outside of the traditional confines of marriage.

Gayle Kaufman is the Maddrey Professor of Sociology and Gender & Sexuality Studies at Davidson College. They study gender, sexuality, and family attitudes, marriage, fatherhood, work and family, and LGBTQ+ families. You can follow them on Bluesky at @gaylekaufman.bsky.social.

D’Lane Compton is a Full Professor of Sociology at the University of New Orleans. Their research focuses on sexual, gender, and family inequalities through social psychology and demographic analysis. You can follow them on Bluesky at @drcompton.bsky.social.