I have a group of friends I've explored sex with.  It's very safe (we're all tested) and freeing to me.  I've experimented with people of different sexes and races, and even large groups.  There isn't a pressure on getting men off at the expense of the women.  Not everyone feels obligated to join in either.  My boyfriend feels fine sitting out while I have all the fun.  I wish our youth were allowed to have this sort of arrangement as an option - perhaps they'd be happier and healthier as a result.

I'm curious why "exploring [one's] sexuality" seems to always be framed as requiring actual sexual activity? I achieved a satisfactory sense of my own sexual orientation and identity through extended contemplation about attractions and desire, reading on the subject of the social construction of sex and gender, and social interaction with people who identify with a range of sexual orientations and identities. Perhaps as a (lifelong) celibate person I may be misunderstanding others' experiences -- but do most people really find that they need to "do it" to comprehend this aspect of themselves?

From all the sex I've had, I've found my best partners have been guys who had been in long-term relationships, and those with whom I've had long-term relationships.  The reason is, perhaps, that when you stay with one person for an extended period of time, you begin to feel comfortable with him/her sexuality. You learn mutually-beneficial sex, how to help yourself get off, how to pleasure your partner, how to be respectful, etc. 
Constant casual sex teaches only selfishness.  I mean, the main point of it is selfish- sex without having to commit, without having to take into consideration the present and future of another person. 
I fear this "hook-up" culture.  We're abandoning monogamy without a fight.  We are in this mind set that life alone is better, and we feel out-casted if we think differently. 
For example, many of my own close friends would be surprised to know that I really want to be married some day.  My first boyfriend I really loved I had to break up with because he denied ever wanting to get married- then later he said he did, but was too afraid to admit it.
Marriage and monogamy are just one option and I'm afraid it's simply becoming "uncool," and that's not a good enough reason for its existence to become obsolete. 
Another reason I fear this culture is because I feel women are getting the sit end of the deal.  In order to get male approval we give them sex without asking anything in return.  We are afraid to ask for anything. Why is this?
One possibility may be that men are beginning to feel less responsible because women are ale to take care of themselves financially. 
Another possible answer or partial answer may be the idea of an, "independent woman," being completely misconstrued my both sexes.  Women think keeping a guy around means giving up independence, and a man may think women only want independence.
This also applies to gay/lesbian couples. 
I could go on and write a whole thesis on this, but I'm gonna cut it off here for the sake of time, and probably no one will read it anyway.

Does anyone have access to a transcript, or the script?

excellent presentation

Reminded me a lot of Tom Cruise's infamous role in Magnolia as a pickup artist motivational speaker.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEO0bqU4Oys

I know there are quite a few men who approach sexuality in this way-- as a conquest, rather than something meaningful and intimate. Unfortunately, a lot of men who actually want intimate sexual relationships lose out in the face of this kind of culture. And many, many women, of course.

I don't understand women that don't understand it's okay, and even found sexy by many men, to demand their own satisfaction. Yes, many men also only care about themselves, but why even bother with them? I only graduated college recently though and I do have to admit, I had A LOT MORE casual FUN with real friends once I stopped looking to people at my college and started building social connections elsewhere.
Also, at least at my school, their were plenty of same-sex hookups, and for myself and those I discussed it with, they were more often mutually enjoyed.

"In her own research, Lisa has found that students want sex to be
pleasurable, empowering, or meaningful.  But, alas, they seem to have
difficulty achieving any one of those things in great measure.  The
culprit, she concludes, isn’t hooking up, it’s hook up culture."

I had to chuckle at this. This is the result of hook-up culture? It seems to me that this is a problem faced by innumerable people from every social sphere imaginable for time immemorial. It seems to me that this is what that whole "finding a partner, working out a relationship" thing is about.

I think "hook up culture" is fascinating. However, I don't think Lisa gets it right. I don't think what makes "hook up culture" unique is the frequency of sex nor the casualness with which it is approached. What I think makes it unique is the transformation of "courtship." In my experience (I'm in my early/mid 20s), traditional dating of the sort where you ask someone out to dinner, go out a couple of times, ask them to be your boyfriend/girlfriend, etc is increasingly rare. Instead, more and more people tend to find sexual partners while socializing in large groups. Also, sex with otherwise non-romantic friends (friends you might spend quite a bit of time with in non-sexual and non-romantic contexts) is increasingly common, something I don't think was necessarily the case during the '60s or '70s.

I think Lisa does make a good point that "hook up culture" tends to dominate the discourse in many cases. Every now and then there will be an news article reporting on a sex survey at this or that school, and they invariably show that a significant percentage of students in college are either virgins or strictly monogamous or simply not having anywhere near as much sex as most people seem to think. The lifestyles depicted in shows like 'Skins' are really unrepresentative of the youth culture as a whole, yet many people take it as an accurate representation of the current zeitgeist.

Wow, this was a great talk. Thank you for making it available here!

That was a great talk! Thanks so much for sharing it. I'm a college senior, and even though I'm not really at these parties are directly a part of hookup culture, I can definitely relate to the expectations. I think realizing that things will change after you're out of school would be useful for a lot of people I know.
For myself, I want no part of hookup culture and never have. A lot of the scenarios described in the quotes would be pretty upsetting to me, so I've never thought it was weird or bad that I want to avoid having such unpleasant experiences.

Does hookup culture only occur in college?  Do people who don't go to college experience it?

Very nice talk Lisa!

Why is it assumed that there is anything inherently meaningful about sex?  posited:: that this dissatisfaction with "hookup culture" (also known as "sex"?  7 times in 4 years sounds....accidental) is just the larger meaninglessness of consumer culture writ onto the sexual experience. 

our culture is based on advertising.  advertising is written to convince people that purchasing things is inherently meaningful, so perhaps there's a bleedover, in that people think that simply entering into the act will make it meaningful; rather than taking the meaning of their actions into their own hands. 

as far as collegiate policies to encourage healthy, "meaningful" sex, the university could encourage activist and political groups.  how sexy and meaningful is it to screw someone who is powerful and changing the world alongside you?

For disfigured people like myself, the lack of human contact was torture in college.   Legalize prostitution already, please.  

Haven't you goddamned social science types done ENOUGH DAMAGE ALREADY!?!?!?!?!

From the people I spoke with who grew up in the 1960s and 70s, the "hookup culture" was a lot more prevalent back then. I mean, with the pill there was a total sexual revolution, and opening that kind of pandora's box so to speak, led to a huge shift to sexual experimentation and casual sex. Nearly everyone I've talked to who grew up in that time frame can attest that the "Swinging 60s" wasn't a misnomer. One man I talked to said it was the epitome of "Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll" with the increasing acceptance of marijuana as well, especially when HIV/AIDS was virtually non-existent.

I've had my fair share of fun, but the stories I hear from some of the old timers indicate that the numbers just aren't in the same league these days. 

The end of the article makes me wonder how Lisa feels about this being posted here. I hope she's okay with it. :/

You seem to have extrapolated your data sample of 44 participants to the entire college population - which is not sound statistics. Sounds more like your own personal conclusions and opinions rather than sound research. Though it does make for good banter.

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