{"id":67023,"date":"2015-12-27T12:01:35","date_gmt":"2015-12-27T17:01:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/?p=67023"},"modified":"2015-12-22T00:41:15","modified_gmt":"2015-12-22T05:41:15","slug":"don-draper-and-the-pursuit-of-loneliness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/2015\/12\/27\/don-draper-and-the-pursuit-of-loneliness\/","title":{"rendered":"Don Draper and the pursuit of loneliness"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"2<\/a><\/p>\n

Mr. Draper, I don\u2019t know what it is you really believe in but I do know what it feels like to be out of place, to be disconnected, to see the whole world laid out in front of you the way other people live it. There\u2019s something about you that tells me you know it too.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

– Mad Men<\/em>, Season 1, Episode 1
\n<\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The ending of Mad Men<\/em> was brilliant. It was like a good mystery novel: once you know the solution \u2013 Don Draper creating one of the greatest ads in Madison Avenue history \u2013 you see that the clues were there all along.\u00a0 You just didn\u2019t realize what was important and what wasn\u2019t. Neither did the characters. This was a game played between Matt Weiner and the audience.<\/p>\n

The ending, like the entire series, was also a sociological commentary on American culture. Or rather, it was an illustration of such a commentary. The particular sociological commentary I have in mind is Philip Slater\u2019sPursuit of Loneliness<\/i>, published in 1970, the same year that this episode takes place. It\u2019s almost as if Slater had Don Draper in mind when he wrote the book, or as if Matt Weiner had the book in mind when he wrote this episode.<\/p>\n

In the first chapter, \u201cI Only Work Here,\u201d Slater outlines “three human desires that are deeply and uniquely frustrated by American culture”:<\/p>\n

(1) the desire for community<\/i> \u2013 the wish to live in trust, cooperation, and friendship with those around one.<\/p>\n

(2) the desire for engagement<\/i> \u2013 the wish to come to grips directly with one\u2019s social and physical environment.<\/p>\n

(3) the desire for dependence<\/i> \u2013 the wish to share responsibility for the control of one\u2019s impulses and the direction of one\u2019s life.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The fundamental principle that gives rise to these frustrations is, of course, individualism.<\/p>\n

Individualism is rooted in the attempt to deny the reality of human interdependence. One of the major goals of technology in America is to \u201cfree\u201d us from the necessity of relating to, submitting to, depending upon, or controlling other people. Unfortunately, the more we have succeeded in doing this, the more we have felt disconnected, bored, lonely, unprotected, unnecessary, and unsafe.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Most of those adjectives could apply to Don Draper at this point. In earlier episodes, we have seen Don, without explanation, walk out of an important meeting at work and, like other American heroes, light out for the territory, albeit in a new Cadillac. He is estranged from his family. He is searching for something \u2013 at first a woman, who turns out to be unattainable, and then for… he doesn\u2019t really know what. He winds up at Esalen, where revelation comes from an unlikely source, a nebbishy man named Leonard. In a group session, Leonard says:<\/p>\n

I’ve never been interesting to anybody. I, um \u2013\u00a0 I work in an office. People walk right by me. I know they don\u2019t see me. And I go home and I watch my wife and my kids. They don\u2019t look up when I sit down…<\/p>\n

I had a dream. I was on a shelf in the refrigerator. Someone closes the door and the light goes off. And I know everybody\u2019s out there eating. And then they open the door and you see them smiling. They\u2019re happy to see you but maybe they don\u2019t look right at you and maybe they don\u2019t pick you. Then the door closes again. The light goes off.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

People are silent, but Don gets up, slowly moves towards Leonard and tearfully, silently, embraces him. \"3\"<\/a><\/p>\n

On the surface, the two men could not be more different. Don is interesting. And successful. People notice him. But he shares Leonard\u2019s sense that his pursuit \u2013 of a new identity, of career success, of unattainable women – has left him feeling inauthentic, disconnected, and alone. \u201cI\u2019ve messed everything up,\u201d he tells his sometime co-worker Peggy in a phone conversation. \u201cI\u2019m not the man you think I am.\u201d<\/p>\n

The next time we see him, he is watching from a distance as people do tai-chi on a hilltop.\"1b\"<\/a><\/p>\n

And then he himself is sitting on a hilltop, chanting \u201com\u201d in unison with a group of people. At last he is sharing something with others rather than searching for ego gratifications. \"1c\"<\/a><\/p>\n

And then the punch line. We cut to the Coke hilltop ad with its steadily expanding group of happy people singing in perfect harmony. \"2\"<\/a>A simple product brings universal community (\u201cI\u2019d like to buy the world a Coke and keep it company\u201d). It also brings authenticity. \u201cIt\u2019s the real thing.\u201d Esalen and Coca-Cola. Both are offering solutions to the frustrated needs Slater identifies. But both solutions suffer from the same flaw \u2013 they are personal rather than social. A few days of spiritual healing and hot springs brings nor more social change than does a bottle of sugar water.It\u2019s not that real change is impossible, Slater says, and in the final chapter of the book, he hopes that the strands in the fabric of American culture can be rewoven.\u00a0 But optimism is difficult.<\/div>\n
\n
So many healthy new growths in our society are at some point blocked by the overwhelming force and rigidity of economic inequality… There\u2019s a… ceiling of concentrated economic power that holds us back, frustrates change, locks in flexibility.<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n

The Mad Men finale makes the same point, though with greater irony (the episode title is \u201cPerson to Person\u201d). When we see the Coke mountaintop ad, we realize that Don Draper has bundled up his Esalen epiphany, brought it back to a huge ad agency in New York, and turned it into a commercial for one of the largest corporations in the world.<\/p>\n

Cross-posted at Montclair SocioBlog<\/a>\u00a0and Pacific Standard<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n Jay Livingston is the chair of the Sociology Department at Montclair State University<\/a>. You can follow him at Montclair SocioBlog<\/a> or on Twitter<\/a>.<\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mr. Draper, I don\u2019t know what it is you really believe in but I do know what it feels like to be out of place, to be disconnected, to see the whole world laid out in front of you the way other people live it. There\u2019s something about you that tells me you know it […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":258,"featured_media":68483,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[15,2087,588,129,23703,3920,37,76],"class_list":["post-67023","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-culture","tag-gender-masculinity","tag-individualism","tag-media","tag-marketing","tag-nation-united-states","tag-social-psychology","tag-work"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/files\/2015\/01\/212.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67023","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/258"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=67023"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67023\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":68494,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67023\/revisions\/68494"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/68483"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=67023"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=67023"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=67023"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}