{"id":55582,"date":"2014-05-20T09:00:44","date_gmt":"2014-05-20T14:00:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/?p=55582"},"modified":"2017-09-17T16:43:12","modified_gmt":"2017-09-17T21:43:12","slug":"advice-for-college-grads-from-two-sociologists","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/2014\/05\/20\/advice-for-college-grads-from-two-sociologists\/","title":{"rendered":"Advice for College Grads from Two Sociologists"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Screenshot_2\"<\/a>–<\/span>
\nHappy Graduation, Seniors! Congratulations! What\u2019s next?\u00a0 Below is some sociologically-inspired, out-of-the-box advice on work, love, family, friendship, and the meaning of life. \u00a0For new grads from the two of us!<\/p>\n

1. Don’t Worry About Making Your Dreams Come True<\/b><\/p>\n

College graduates are often told: \u201cfollow your passion,\u201d do \u201cwhat you love,\u201d what you were \u201cmeant to do,\u201d or \u201cmake your dreams come true.\u201d\u00a0 Two-thirds think they\u2019re going find a job that allows them to change the world<\/a>, half within five years.\u00a0 Yikes.<\/p>\n

This sets young people up to fail. The truth is that the vast majority of us will not be employed in a job that is both our lifelong passion and a world-changer; that\u2019s just not the way our global economy is. So it\u2019s ok to set your sights just a tad below occupational ecstasy.\u00a0 Just find a job that you like.\u00a0 Use that job to help you have a full life with lots of good things and pleasure and helping others and stuff.\u00a0 A great life is pretty good, even if it\u2019s not perfect.<\/p>\n

2. Make Friends<\/b><\/p>\n

Americans put a lot of emphasis on finding Mr. or Ms. Right and getting married. We think this will bring us happiness.\u00a0 In fact, however, both psychological well-being and health are more strongly related<\/a> to friendship.\u00a0 If you have good friends, you\u2019ll be less likely to get the common cold, less likely to die from cancer, recover better from the loss of a spouse, and keep your mental acuity as you age.\u00a0 You\u2019ll also feel more capable of facing life\u2019s challenges, be less likely to feed depressed or commit suicide, and be happier in old age.\u00a0 Having happy<\/i> friends increases your chance of being happy<\/a> as much as an extra $145,500 a year does.\u00a0 So, make friends!<\/p>\n

3. Don\u2019t Worry \u00a0about Being Single<\/b><\/p>\n

Single people, especially women, are stigmatized in our society: we\u2019re all familiar with the image of a sad, lonely woman eating ice cream with her cats in her pajamas on Saturday night. But about 45% of U.S. adults aren\u2019t married<\/a> and around 1 in 7 lives alone<\/a>.<\/p>\n

This might be you.\u00a0 Research shows that young people\u2019s expectations about their marital status (e.g., the desire to be married by 30 and have kids by 32) have little or no relationship<\/a> to what actually happens to people.\u00a0 So, go with the flow.<\/p>\n

And, if you\u2019re single, you\u2019re in good company.\u00a0 Single people spend more time with friends, volunteer more, and are more involved in their communities than married people. Never-married and divorced women are happier, on average<\/a>, than married women. So, don\u2019t buy into the myth of the miserable singleton.<\/p>\n

4. Don\u2019t Take Your Ideas about Gender and Marriage Too Seriously<\/b><\/p>\n

If you do<\/i> get married, be both principled and flexible.\u00a0 Relationship satisfaction, financial security, and happy kids are more strongly related to the ability to adapt<\/a>\u00a0in the face of life\u2019s challenges than any particular way of organizing families.\u00a0 The most functional families are ones that can bend.\u00a0 So partnering with someone who thinks that one partner should<\/i> support their families and the other should<\/i> take responsibility for the house and children is a recipe for disaster.\u00a0 So is being equally rigid about non-traditional divisions of labor.\u00a0 It\u2019s okay to have ideas about how to organize your family \u2013 and, for the love of god<\/a>, please talk about both your ideals and fallback positions on this \u2013 but your best bet for happiness is to be flexible.<\/p>\n

5. Think Hard About Whether to Buy a House<\/b><\/p>\n

Our current image of the American Dream revolves around homeownership, and buying a home is often taken for granted as a stage on the path to full-fledge adulthood. But the ideal of universal home ownership was born in the 1950s.\u00a0 It\u2019s a rather new idea.<\/p>\n

With such a short history, it\u2019s funny that people often insist that buying a house is a fool-proof investment and the best way to secure retirement.\u00a0 In fact, buying a house may not be the best choice for you. The mortgage may be less than rent, but there are also taxes, insurance, and the increasingly common Home Owners Association (HOA) fees. You may someday sell the house for more than you bought it but, if you paid interest on a mortgage, you also paid far more than the sale price.\u00a0 You have freedom from a landlord, but may discover your HOA is just as controlling, or worse. \u00a0And then there\u2019s the headache: renting relieves you from the stress of being responsible for repairs. It also offers a freedom of movement that you might cherish.<\/p>\n

So, think carefully about whether buying or renting is a better fit for your finances, lifestyle, and future goals. This New York Times<\/i> rent vs. buy calculator<\/a> is a good start.<\/p>\n

6. Think Even Harder about Having Kids<\/b><\/p>\n

One father had this to say<\/a> about children: \u201cThey\u2019re a huge source of joy, but they turn every other source of joy to shit.\u201d In fact, having children correlates with both an increased<\/i> sense of purpose in life and a long-lasting decrease<\/i><\/a> in individual and marital happiness.\u00a0 Having kids means spending a lot of your short life and limited income on one source of joy. It\u2019s not a bad decision. But it\u2019s also not the only<\/i> good decision you can make. We want to think we can \u201chave it all\u201d but, in fact, it\u2019s a zero sum game. You have only so much time and money and there are lots of ways to find satisfaction, pleasure, and meaning in this life.\u00a0 Consider all your options.<\/p>\n

Lisa Wade is a professor of sociology at<\/em>\u00a0<\/i>Occidental College<\/i><\/a>. You can follow her on<\/em>\u00a0<\/i>Twitter<\/i><\/a>\u00a0<\/i>and <\/em>Facebook<\/i><\/a>. \u00a0<\/em>Gwen Sharp is a professor of sociology at <\/em>Nevada State College<\/i><\/a>. You can follow her on <\/em>Twitter<\/i><\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

Originally posted in 2013 and cross-posted at\u00a0The Huffington Post<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0PolicyMic<\/a>\u00a0(with gifs!).<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

– Happy Graduation, Seniors! Congratulations! What\u2019s next?\u00a0 Below is some sociologically-inspired, out-of-the-box advice on work, love, family, friendship, and the meaning of life. \u00a0For new grads from the two of us! 1. Don’t Worry About Making Your Dreams Come True College graduates are often told: \u201cfollow your passion,\u201d do \u201cwhat you love,\u201d what you were […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":51,"featured_media":62678,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[12508,106,55,8080,272,283,76],"class_list":["post-55582","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-activismsocial-movements","tag-friendship","tag-gender","tag-housingresidential-segregation","tag-marriagefamily","tag-prejudicediscrimination","tag-work"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/files\/2014\/05\/1.jpg1.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55582","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/51"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=55582"}],"version-history":[{"count":21,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55582\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":71654,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55582\/revisions\/71654"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/62678"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=55582"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=55582"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=55582"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}