{"id":55311,"date":"2013-05-28T12:00:30","date_gmt":"2013-05-28T17:00:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/?p=55311"},"modified":"2017-09-17T09:05:38","modified_gmt":"2017-09-17T14:05:38","slug":"should-moms-hate-childless-women","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/2013\/05\/28\/should-moms-hate-childless-women\/","title":{"rendered":"Should Moms Hate Childless Women?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Screenshot_1\"<\/a>In a wonderfully provocative article titled “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence” (full text<\/a>), writer and poet Adrienne\u00a0Rich argues, among other things, that the assumption of heterosexuality in the context of patriarchy alternatively erases and stigmatizes woman-to-woman bonds.<\/p>\n

Though the title specifies lesbianism, she means intense and meaningful relationships between women more generally. \u00a0In other words, an overbearing heterosexuality orients women towards men not just<\/em> as sexual and romantic partners, but as the arbiters of all that is good and right<\/em>. Accordingly, women don’t turn to other women to validate their ideas, their value, their beauty, or anything else about them. \u00a0This post, analyzing the reality show Battle of the Bods<\/a>, is a stark example.<\/p>\n

If only men can validate women’s worth, then other women exist only as competition for their approval. \u00a0This is good for patriarchy; it divides and conquers women, keeping them constantly looking to please the men around them and making them feel invisible and worthless if they can’t get attention from or endorsement from men.<\/p>\n

There are various strategies for getting men’s stamp of approval: being the busy and useful mother of a man’s children is one way, while being a childless so-called “trophy wife” is another. \u00a0You can imagine, right away, that these two kinds of women might see themselves as in competition. \u00a0One may be more harried, with less time to tend to her physical fitness and keep her hair shiny and her make-up and clothes just right. \u00a0The other may have plenty of time to keep herself fit and beautiful, but knows that her connection to her husband may feel less permanent without children to tie her to him. \u00a0Moreover, the childless wife is often a second wife. \u00a0So all sexy, single, childless women are, theoretically, a threat to the wife and mother. \u00a0And all husband\/dads are, theoretically, a target for wanna-be second wives.<\/p>\n

Pop culture constantly re-affirms these narratives. \u00a0It frequently naturalizes the idea that women should turn to men, and not women, to reinforce their value. Portraying women as in competition is part of that. \u00a0The “trophy wife” vs. the “busy mom” is one of those match-ups. Enter this Volvo ad, sent in by Dolores R.:<\/p>\n