{"id":35720,"date":"2011-05-03T10:00:18","date_gmt":"2011-05-03T15:00:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/?p=35720"},"modified":"2011-10-26T02:39:12","modified_gmt":"2011-10-26T07:39:12","slug":"masculinity-in-klondikes-5-seconds-to-glory-ads","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/2011\/05\/03\/masculinity-in-klondikes-5-seconds-to-glory-ads\/","title":{"rendered":"Masculinity in Klondike&#8217;s &#8220;5 Seconds to Glory&#8221; Ads"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Dolores sent us a link to a post at Feministing about Klondike&#8217;s new &#8220;5 Seconds to Glory&#8221; ad campaign for their ice cream bars. The ads revolve around men trying to endure 5 full seconds of unimaginable horror; if they succeed, they are rewarded with Klondike bars (provided by hot chicks). <\/p>\n<p>For instance, in this particularly brutal segment, a man must <em>listen to his wife speak<\/em>:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center\"><object><param name=\"movie\" value=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/v\/TxC9-PJfyKo?version=3\"><\/param><param name=\"allowFullScreen\" value=\"true\"><\/param><param name=\"allowScriptAccess\" value=\"always\"><\/param><\/object><\/p>\n<p>A man must listen to his wife talk out loud for 5 whole seconds, about fixing up the house, no less.<\/p>\n<p>In a second video, found ad <a href=\"http:\/\/www.adweek.com\/video\/klondike-hand-hold-131111\">AdWeek<\/a> (the embedded clip at Feministing isn&#8217;t working), two bikers must hold hands:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center\"><object width=\"500\" height=\"367\" classid=\"D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000\" codebase=\"http:\/\/download.macromedia.com\/pub\/shockwave\/cabs\/flash\/swflash.cab#version=9,0,47,0\"><param name=\"movie\" value=\"http:\/\/c.brightcove.com\/services\/viewer\/federated_f9?isVid=1&amp;isUI=1\" \/><param name=\"bgcolor\" value=\"#FFFFFF\" \/><param name=\"flashVars\" value=\"videoId=921830038001&amp;playerID=899459040001&amp;playerKey=AQ~~,AAAAAEMe8RQ~,R8iUD_53FI-fFhu9OAo50DzmPhxRXuK4&amp;domain=embed&amp;dynamicStreaming=true\" \/><param name=\"base\" value=\"http:\/\/admin.brightcove.com\" \/><param name=\"seamlesstabbing\" value=\"false\" \/><param name=\"allowFullScreen\" value=\"true\" \/><param name=\"swLiveConnect\" value=\"true\" \/><param name=\"allowScriptAccess\" value=\"always\" \/><\/object><\/p>\n<p>So guys, don&#8217;t ever forget: wives are annoying burdens you should try to avoid interacting with (much less <em>listening to<\/em>), and touching or being even superficially intimate with other guys is gross. If, through super-human effort, you are able to bear doing one of these things, you deserve a reward. Brought by women in mini dresses.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dolores sent us a link to a post at Feministing about Klondike&#8217;s new &#8220;5 Seconds to Glory&#8221; ad campaign for their ice cream bars. The ads revolve around men trying to endure 5 full seconds of unimaginable horror; if they succeed, they are rewarded with Klondike bars (provided by hot chicks). For instance, in this [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":50,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[55,2087],"class_list":["post-35720","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-gender","tag-gender-masculinity"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35720","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/50"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35720"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35720\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":41010,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35720\/revisions\/41010"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35720"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35720"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35720"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}