The imperative for men to avoid doing anything associated with femininity — lest they get called a “sissy,” “fag,” “woman,” or “girl” — derives directly from the valuing of men and masculinity and devaluing of women and femininity. Men are stigmatized when they do feminine things because femininity is stigmatizing. Yes, women should be pissed about this, but it does no favors for men either.
Take this slide show for instance. Published at WPLG Miami, it is titled “10 Drinks Men Should Never Order.” Let’s take a look at the rules (at the bottom of each image):
No surprise, it ends with this image:
So, men aren’t allowed to drink “anything blended,” anything “neon,” White Zinfandel, drinks with “an obscene amount of garnish,” anything “that boasts whipped cream,” “anything that ends with ‘tini’” (except an “honest martini”), malt beverages (unless they are “40s”), “anything that requires a straw,” and Cosmopolitans (of course). They even argue that men should not order “any kind of alcohol, besides scotch, ordered ‘neat’” (that is, straight up, no ice) because “it could suggest that you’re a frequent drinker.” The slide show ends with a photo of a man-approved drink, a beer.
Gee, it’s great to be a man. I mean, I like a good Colt 45 as much as the next gal, but come on. Patriarchy 1, men zero.Lisa Wade, PhD is a professor at Occidental College. She is the author of American Hookup, a book about college sexual culture, and Gender, a textbook. You can follow her on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.