Just thought I'd mention that Rihanna doesn't write her own songs...she may have chosen that song in part because of those lyrics, I don't know, but it was written by Ne-yo. Rihanna might be personally interpreting those lyrics any number of ways, I'm not sure if it's worth speculating on for too long.
Sorry. Music business student here.

i dont think we should over analyze artist's work, whether music or something else, and confuse it with their personal lives.

it is not like she referred to domestic violence, or even physical violence, in the lyrics. and fginally, as someone else said, she might not writer her own songs or be able to decide for all of the lyrics. who knows, if she wrote it, maybe it was 5 yrs ago...

i think this post is really looking for negative with a magnifier... pain in love life is probably the most common topic of all, and if this was anyone elses song, u wouldnt see anything odd about it.

I don't think it's fair to argue that Rihanna's career choices need to be defined by the abuse that she was subjected to. It strikes me as borderline victim-blaming, like "you're not dealing with your abuse the way I want you to".

The many young girls who blamed Rihanna for her abuse (or saw her blamed by public figures in the media) didn't blame her because of something she did wrong. They blamed her, like other victims of violence against women, because they live in a culture saturated in misogyny, one consistently puts forth the argument that women who suffer violence at the hands of men must have done something to deserve it. It's not Rihanna's responsibility -as an abuse survivor- to take on the burden of dismantling that culture.

Which is not to say that the media at large and the figures who populate it don't have a responsibility to educate and help transform that culture towards one treats women as human beings with rights. In that capacity, Rihanna's single can be critiqued as one in a long line of singles in which women musicians equate love-sex-danger-violence. But she has no special responsibility as an abuse survivor to tailor her music to that purpose.

I am not sure of how this song ties in to any previous event as we are unsure of its origin. However; I don't think that people blamed Rihanna for being beaten. Seemingly everyone was outraged and disgusted by Chris Brown.The tide turned against Rihanna when she went back to him. After we all saw the gruesome E.R. photos and were ready to hurl Mr. Brown under the bus with Michael Vick and the Unibomber, rumors swirl about a new duet and pictures of them together again surfaced. A woman with apparently unlimited resources, massive talent, and staggering beauty CHOOSING to return to her arrogant, ugly (in my opinion), abusive boyfriend was just too much. The popular opinion became, "it must not be that bad if she wants to stay." I know that many women stay in unhealthy relationships because they have nowhere to go. This is not the case for Rihanna, ergo she appears to be a door mat. She devalued herself (in the public's eyes) to the point that no one else could respect her either.

I would guess she approved/acquired this song to express the experience of being in that situation, not to defend it. Folks who stay in abusive situations are often fully aware of the ambivalence ... "I hate that they do this but I love them, it was good before and it can be again."

@jenni t: This is a site that analyzes media, because media affects people. I think we can acknowledge the role that pop songs have in influencing society, even when that influence is small. And Rihanna's struggles of late are perhaps the most visible and pubilc depiction of domestic violence/dating violence in awhile, so it matters. 1 in 4 women & 1 in 4 LGBT folks experience domestic violence in their lifetime. /speech

@Shana: 46% of kids blame Rihanna. Effed up. Folks don't just stay because of economic reasons.

http://www.rushprnews.com/2009/03/21/bphc-surveys-youths-on-teen-dating-violence-half-blame-rihanna/

@dave Many average women stay because of economic reasons, fear that they cannot protect or support themselves, they have children to care for, fear that the man will hunt them down... Rihanna, as I said before, has seemingly unlimited resources. The only thing she appears to be lacking is a good counselor or therapist to help her discover her self-worth again. You cannot love anyone unless you love yourself, and you have to hate yourself quite a bit to stay in an incendiary relationship. I don't blame her, I am sad for her. She needs as much help as he does.

@Shana: I spoke up about the economic piece because you put emphasis on Rihanna's "unlimited resources, massive talent, and staggering beauty," and it carries implications about how she experienced abuse versus someone with, say, limited resources, small talents and average beauty. Despite saying that you are referring to the 'public', it comes across here -- "She devalued herself (in the public’s eyes) to the point that no one else could respect her either." -- that these are in fact your opinions. This is echoed when you say "She needs as much help as he does."

Wealth and resources do not undue trauma, isolating "mind games" or raw fear. This is, perhaps unintentionally, conflating being abused with being abusive, and I feel it is in fact victim blaming.

I don't think that its uncommon for folks to think that the people who end up in abusive relationships are unhinged or just maladjusted, but they're often normal people who miss the early warning signs because batterers are charming and manipulative.

There's a really good website for teens (I know Rihanna and Chris Brown aren't quite high school age, but a large portion of their fan base is) that you can check out that gets into some of the emotional stuff ...

loveisrespect.org

http://www.loveisrespect.org/get-help/support-for-a-friend/

@Dave I think you missed the point to begin with. I replied to this comment "The many young girls who blamed Rihanna for her abuse (or saw her blamed by public figures in the media) didn’t blame her because of something she did wrong. They blamed her, like other victims of violence against women, because they live in a culture saturated in misogyny, one consistently puts forth the argument that women who suffer violence at the hands of men must have done something to deserve it." I was just hypothesizing that people didn't blame her because she is female, they blamed her because she went back to him. As a survivor of an incredibly abusive relationship; my father ultimately murdered my half brother before my mother left him, I know that women will excuse any amount of violent, degrading, and criminal behavior when they feel worthless and feel that they have nowhere to go. So perhaps that is my opinion, but it is an opinion based in first hand experience. Ultimately, we said the same thing. You say Love is respect and I say you have to love (respect) yourself first. When you do not respect yourself, no one else will respect you either.

One last then I promise no more back and forth... To say that she needs help is NOT victim blaming. A woman who has been through that type of trauma and continues to place herself in harm's way needs help. To deny that because of some arbitrary connotations affixed to the word "help" is to be derelict when dealing with abuse victims. Help shouldn't come with some heinous social stigma. I stand by my opinion, because truly that is all any of these statements are. They both need help, albeit for different reasons. It takes two people to maintain these relationships, whatever the reasons may be.
Furthermore, I agree with your statement, "Wealth and resources do not undue trauma, isolating “mind games” or raw fear." They do make it far easier to escape violence when the woman is ready to go. The paper below is an excellent example of how incredibly dynamic abusive relationships are, especially among the underprivileged population.

Stability and Change in the Experience of Partner Violence Among Low-Income Women.
Sonia M. Frias 1 and Ronald J. Angel 1
Social Science Quarterly
PS: No ill will or anything, just exchanging casual discourse, and differences in perspective.

@Shana: Thanks for sharing your experience, I hear where you're coming from.

I just want to stress that many survivors are unable to reach out for help because of the compounded effects of long-term power and control, and that it isn't as easy as just seeing a counselor, re-acquiring self-esteem and leaving. I can see now that wasn't what your intent.

And even when a survivor has left, they can still face so many barriers, and end up going back. Great film if you can track it down called "Don't tell me you love me" by Thato Ranao Mwosa that get's into just that.

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=5678294

I will certainly check that video out. Thank you.

Ne-Yo has stated the song is about a story HE made up. He said "Imagine two people sitting opposite each other with a gun on the table in front of them with one bullet in it. The song is basically what Rihanna is thinking as she sits there."

The song is basically all Ne-Yo's vision with Rihanna just singing.

There's also a religious view on this.

There aren't any videos from it, but they have a youtube channel with ads about it. http://www.youtube.com/user/rochchurch7#p/a/u/3/4_EdpRKEejw