{"id":2825,"date":"2011-06-23T05:14:49","date_gmt":"2011-06-23T10:14:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/girlwpen.com\/?p=2825"},"modified":"2013-07-14T16:41:40","modified_gmt":"2013-07-14T21:41:40","slug":"relating-radically-is-a-correlation-between-teen-sex-and-divorce-a-bad-thing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/2011\/06\/23\/relating-radically-is-a-correlation-between-teen-sex-and-divorce-a-bad-thing\/","title":{"rendered":"RELATING RADICALLY: Is a Correlation Between Teen Sex and Divorce a Bad Thing?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Photo by Orin Zebest<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

There\u2019s been a bit of buzz in the media<\/a> in the past week about a study<\/a> published in April in the Journal of Marriage & Family<\/em> that finds some correlation between women having sex as a teenager and divorcing later in life. \u00a0So far, most of the coverage seems to imply that the data supports parents telling teens to hold back and wait until they\u2019re adults to have sex–but is that conclusion really supported?<\/p>\n

First, the study doesn\u2019t necessarily say that all women who have sex under the age of 18 are more likely to divorce. \u00a0Those who have sex before the age of 16, and especially those whose first sexual experiences were unwanted or negative in some other way, are much more likely to divorce than those who have a consensual sexual experience as an older teen. \u00a0The study author suggests that negative experiences, especially, may impact a woman\u2019s views on sex and relationships and make divorce more likely later on.<\/p>\n

However, what I find interesting is that none of the articles about this study, even those that point out possible sex-positive interpretations of the data, question the positioning of divorce as a \u201crisk\u201d for women, a negative occurrence that we should try to prevent in any way we can by adjusting the messages we send teens.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not saying that divorce isn\u2019t unpleasant. \u00a0Very few people enjoy<\/em> getting a divorce, but it is worth questioning whether divorce reduction is actually a policy goal that makes any sense.<\/p>\n

The dissolution of a relationship is a choice, like the decision to have consensual sex as a teen is a choice. \u00a0I can\u2019t help but wonder whether one explanation of the data, particularly for those women who had a consensual sexual experience as a teen and then divorced later on, might be that those women were more likely to make autonomous, informed choices about their sexuality and their relationships than their peers. \u00a0I\u2019ll concede that I don\u2019t find this very likely as historical fact–unfortunately, most kids growing up in this completely skewed and destructive sexual culture don\u2019t have the skills needed to make informed choices about sex–but I think it is one explanation we should consider going forward. \u00a0Might parents not embrace a scenario where a daughter is informed and positive about sex as a teen, and then goes on to end her adult relationships when she is no longer happy maintaining them?<\/p>\n

Given the history of \u201ctil death do us part\u201d and lifelong marriage as the norm, we\u2019ve been conditioned to think of divorce as a bad, negative thing, a sign of failure in a relationship. \u00a0But is it realistic to expect a relationship to last forty, fifty, sixty years? \u00a0Many relationships do end, and that\u2019s okay. \u00a0I think we should raise our children with the skills to negotiate in a relationship and recognize when the dissolution of the relationship is the best solution for everyone involved. \u00a0As the child of two people who divorced amicably after a 12-year marriage, and have spent the next 18 years after that as best friends, I may be a little bit biased. \u00a0But I think this kind of attitude towards divorce is healthier than seeing it as a familial apocalypse, a consequence to be avoided at all costs.<\/p>\n

I think it would be interesting to ask, for further study, what correlation the age of a woman\u2019s first sexual experience has with marital happiness<\/em>. \u00a0Are all those \u201csuccessful,\u201d not-divorced women satisfied with their marriages? \u00a0Have they experienced physical, verbal, or emotional abuse? \u00a0What are their attitudes towards divorce? \u00a0This study isn\u2019t a bad start, but I think we need to know more to get a clear picture.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There\u2019s been a bit of buzz in the media in the past week about a study published in April in the Journal of Marriage & Family that finds some correlation between women having sex as a teenager and divorcing later in life. \u00a0So far, most of the coverage seems to imply that the data supports […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1922,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21112],"tags":[1611,21847,4114],"class_list":["post-2825","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relating-radically","tag-divorce","tag-teen-sexuality","tag-virginity"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2825","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1922"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2825"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2825\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6290,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2825\/revisions\/6290"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2825"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2825"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2825"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}