{"id":2288,"date":"2011-03-15T15:23:55","date_gmt":"2011-03-15T20:23:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/girlwpen.com\/?p=2288"},"modified":"2011-03-15T15:23:55","modified_gmt":"2011-03-15T20:23:55","slug":"getting-down-about-hooking-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/2011\/03\/15\/getting-down-about-hooking-up\/","title":{"rendered":"Getting Down About Hooking Up"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\" Hooking up is getting lots of video<\/a> and academic attention. Plus, it’s Spring \u2014 and Spring Break \u2014 so it seems timely to re-post the following (with permission from the<\/em> Ms. Magazine Blog<\/a>).<\/em><\/p>\n

The days are finally longer. Birds are chirping and green leaves are starting to bud. This can only mean one thing. Spring Break! And with Spring Break comes hook ups.<\/p>\n

Some folks are freaking out<\/a> about this \u201cnew phenomenon<\/a>\u201d of hooking up, but I\u2019d argue it\u2019s hardly new \u2014 check the lyrics from those 1975 disco heroes, KC and the Sunshine Band<\/a>:<\/p>\n

baby, babe let\u2019s get together
\nhoney, honey me and you,
\nand do the things, oh, do the things
\nthat we like to do.<\/p>\n

oh, do a little dance, make a little love \u2026
\nget down tonight\u2026<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Translation? Hey, shorty, let\u2019s hook up.<\/p>\n

The 1960s had Free Love. The 1980s was about the cazh (as in casual sex). Today we can knock boots, hit it and quit it, find an FWB<\/a> or a ONS<\/a>. Call it what you want, it\u2019s still consensual sex outside of a committed relationship. And while the language may change, the moves remain the same.<\/p>\n

What is new on the sexual landscape are debates about whether casual sex is all about fun and free will, or if hooking up is linked to sexual assault and women\u2019s objectification.<\/p>\n

The fact is that young adults ages 18 to 24 who have casual sex do not appear to be at higher risk for psychological fall-out compared to their partnered peers. In so many words, Score! says Jaclyn Friedman<\/a> of Yes Means Yes<\/a>. Research from the University of Minnesota<\/a> \u201creveals the truth that neither Hollywood nor the Religious Right want you to know: Casual sex won\u2019t damage you emotionally. Not even if you\u2019re a girl!\u201d<\/p>\n

But Occidental College professors Lisa Wade and Caroline Heldman<\/a> might disagree. Their forthcoming article, \u201cFriends with Benefits, Without the Friendship Maybe?\u201d points out that college hook-up culture often involves drinking \u2014 a known factor in sexual assault. Young women and men alike say the sex is often unpleasant and meaningful connection is elusive. Many students offer harrowing descriptions of assault, sexually transmitted infections, emotional trauma and gendered antagonism. Yet hooking up \u2014 with its risks, missteps, and possible mistakes \u2014 is still a chance to explore sexual boundaries.<\/p>\n

Determined to get to the hot-and-bothered heart of the matter, Heather Corinna <\/a>from Scarleteen.com<\/a> is launching a new study<\/a> on multigenerational experiences with casual sex. Corinna hopes to find \u201ca more diverse, realistic and non-prescriptive picture of people\u2019s sex lives and ideas about sex.\u201d<\/p>\n

Yet, according to Salon.com\u2019s Kate Harding<\/a>, \u201cthe problem that needs solving isn\u2019t hook-up culture, but the intense pressure on girls and women to focus on getting and keeping a guy, rather than on getting and keeping whatever they want.\u201d Documentary filmmaker Therese Shechter<\/a> of The American Virgin<\/a> gives a nod to this point:<\/p>\n

What\u2019s actually bad for women and girls is treating us like victims who need protecting [and] ignoring that our sexual experiences, good or lousy, can contribute to our growth and development as human beings.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u201cI\u2019m all for sexual freedom as long as you\u2019re safe,\u201d says Jacob Levy, an 18-year-old student at California State University, Long Beach. \u201c[But] there should be a warning label on hooking up,\u201d adds 20-something Stefaney Gonzalez. \u201cSomething like WARNING: proceed with caution.\u201d<\/p>\n

As Nancy Schwartzman<\/a> documents in her gripping film, The Line<\/a>, there is potential for both pleasure and peril with sex, casual or otherwise. Hooking up doesn\u2019t happen in a vacuum, but against the backdrop of crime rates<\/a> that show one in six women (and one in 33 men) statistically likely to face sexual assault in their lifetime.<\/p>\n

Hooking up also has a gendered hue when girls are taught that being sexy is about performing instead of about self-pleasure and expressing what feels good. It\u2019s what philosophers call \u201cillocutionary silencing\u201d \u2014 when girls and young women fail to say what they want. As Heldman wrote in Ms<\/em>. magazine<\/a>, self-objectification has serious impacts on girls\u2019 political efficacy and sexual pleasure. Getting off becomes tied to seeing oneself through the eyes of someone else, or through the lens of an imaginary porn camera.<\/p>\n

The issue isn\u2019t imaginary porn cameras, though; there are lots of items that clutter the sexual imagination. But here\u2019s a thought, and it\u2019s not a new one: Reducing sexual harms like assault, coercion, and slut shaming<\/a> means maximizing sexual pleasure. Let\u2019s kick forced power disparities and nonconsensual objectification out of our everyday lives in the bed and beyond. That\u2019s when the girls will really go wild. On our own terms.<\/p>\n

Photo courtesy of: http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/gaelx\/<\/a> \/ CC BY-SA 2.0<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Some folks are freaking out about this \u201cnew phenomenon\u201d of hooking up, but I\u2019d argue it\u2019s hardly new \u2026 What is new on the sexual landscape are debates about whether casual sex is all about fun and free will, or if hooking up is linked to sexual assault and women\u2019s objectification. \u2026 But here\u2019s a thought, and it\u2019s not a new one: Reducing sexual harms like assault, coercion, and slut shaming means maximizing sexual pleasure. Let\u2019s kick forced power disparities and nonconsensual objectification out of our everyday lives in the bed and beyond. That\u2019s when the girls will really go wild. On our own terms.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1906,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[21240,21268,21439,21440,20801,21449,1941,17284,21632,99,21775,21776,21787,21789,176,21806,21851,21864,21872,21895,21947],"class_list":["post-2288","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-caroline-heldman","tag-consensual-sex","tag-hook-up","tag-hook-up-culture","tag-hooking-up","tag-illocutionary-silencing","tag-kate-harding","tag-lisa-wade","tag-nancy-scwhartzman","tag-relationships","tag-scarleteen","tag-scarleteen-com","tag-sexual-consent","tag-sexual-freedom","tag-sexuality","tag-slut-shaming","tag-the-american-virgin","tag-the-line-campaign","tag-therese-shechter","tag-understanding-hookup-culture","tag-yes-means-yes"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2288","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1906"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2288"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2288\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2288"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2288"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/girlwpen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2288"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}